AIBU to hesitate over helping my nine-year-old remove her leg hair?

[AnxiousPixie]

Hoping to lean into the collective hive mind please!

My daughter has very dark hair, it is very visible on her arms and legs. Aged 9. Not so much that I think there is any medical issues, but enough for others to notice.

I don't want her to feel like she has to modify her body in any way to fit in. I've always had light hair so it's not something I've ever had to deal with. Although I do shave my legs and she knows that.

Others, at school, have started to point it out to her. Not massive bullying but 'urgh, look how hairy your legs are!' kind of comments.

She finds it hard enough to make friends as it is. She doesn't like to wear tights or trousers.

She has already asked me to help her shave it off as she doesn't like the comments at school. She's even asked a TA about it who apparently said 'your mum should really help you do something about that.' (I have spoken to school but am also taking it with a pinch of salt as she may well be exaggerating to try and convince me!) I've moved all the razors out of reach so she can't hurt herself.

So, here's my dilemma....

YANBU - I should support my daughter to be herself, not start modifying her appearance at such a young age and support her to stand up to the criticism.

YANBU - school is hard enough for kids, if she is asking for help to get rid of the hair, help her.

I have asked a number of friends and got both sides so I thought I'd ask the hive mind!

I have really dark hair and lots of it. My mum dorsn't. I'm in my 50s and still remember how awful it was at school not being allowed to remove it. If she's asking you should really let her.

I think being able to go to school comfortable in her skin and not being upset and distracted by teasing is important. Getting to the point where this happens due to inner confidence is a laudable aim, but not one you can achieve overnight with a 9 year old.
She is at the stage when its natural to want to be like her peers, whether that's having the 'right' bag, hair style or whatever else. I'd see the leg hair the same way, and indulge it.
This doesn't mean you completely abandon the wider message. You can still reinforce that whether to remove leg hair or not are equally fine choices to make. But it's hard to reinforce the right to choose while forbidding her a choice over her appearance.

Ipl machines for home work too, initial up front cost but a good investment for the long run

I’ve had a similar same chat with my 10 year old, she knows I shave mine and I want her to be comfortable and confident so I said we could remove it and bought an electric shaver (as thought it would be safer), but for some reason she’s not asked again!