AIBU for declining my brother-in-law's BBQ after years of rudeness?

[AmandaEatsLemons]

AIBU for telling my brother-in-law I don't want to attend his BBQ?

My brother-in-law has recently messaged the family WhatsApp with an announcement that he will be holding a BBQ next week, and he asked who would be coming. I responded with a clear "no."

He has been so incredibly rude to me and my children over the past few years. He told my eldest daughter - Tamara - that her boyfriend was "ugly," making her cry. He told my mum that her ex-husband was right to cheat on her! There's much more that I don't have time to say.

Anyway, some people on my husband's side of the family are claiming I should have put this aside and accepted the invitation anyway. Your thoughts?

Just respond saying you don’t tell other adults where they should or shouldn’t go and they should probably follow your lead on that.

Yes, he's my DH's brother; DH also doesn't like him and backs me in this

Tamara is a lovely name but is her boyfriend ugly? Are you in aus by the way?

This is what all BBQ should just be banned it's ridudlus. .

Wow, what a response! 😂 It's because of your username; chill out!

Forgot to mention that it is now "ex-boyfriend," so I think I am required to say that he is. They were dating at the time though.

Nobody else's opinion matters then! Don't let them make you question yourself and waste an afternoon with someone neither of you wish to be around!

Tamara is a lovely name. Well done. I’m glad she’s ditched the uggo.

Why are you in a WhatsApp group with the rude BIL?

I don't think I have an answer to that question 🤔

Maybe I'll leave the group!

I think Tammie was joking… You chill out yourself!

OP - YANBU. Life is too short to hang out with people you don’t want to hang out with.

You don't see it much in the wild these days.

Can someone please explain why they think they OP is unreasonable?

Why should all bbqs be banned? Also ridudlus is a new word for me, what does it mean?

You've received an invitation, youve responded and declined. End of.

Is this rage bait? Nobody should be having BBQs. If this is real I would report him for it because he's an arsehole

If more people he's bloody horrible to didn't go to his BBQ's, perhaps he'd learn that he is a twat because hardly anyone would be there?
No, of course don't go if you don't want to. Valuable weekend hours can be spent doing something better.

You do realise that many people didn't receive the gov alert and have no idea they are banned from sale, right?

Is the no just for you? Is your DH & any children you have going?

Life is too short to hold grudges for minor things

edit. Seen hubby doesn’t like him either never mind

ANYONE lighting any kind of fire/BBQ in this weather, alert or not, is a very stupid kind of person

Why? I’m in Oz and we have bbqs in hot weather all the time. We even have free gas bbqs in the park, it’s perfectly safe. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a disposable bbq here though, I can see that they wouldn’t be safe in dry conditions.

But why did we need to know it?

You’re much nicer than me… I would write something like “I’d rather chew off my own leg.”

Jaysus, that’s a bit extreme!

You do know other places exist in the uk than England and wales, where the alerts were?

Because it makes sense in that posters head, with her vast experience of British wildfires 🤣