AIBU for declining my brother-in-law's BBQ after years of rudeness?

[AmandaEatsLemons]

AIBU for telling my brother-in-law I don't want to attend his BBQ?

My brother-in-law has recently messaged the family WhatsApp with an announcement that he will be holding a BBQ next week, and he asked who would be coming. I responded with a clear "no."

He has been so incredibly rude to me and my children over the past few years. He told my eldest daughter - Tamara - that her boyfriend was "ugly," making her cry. He told my mum that her ex-husband was right to cheat on her! There's much more that I don't have time to say.

Anyway, some people on my husband's side of the family are claiming I should have put this aside and accepted the invitation anyway. Your thoughts?

Tamara is a lovely name.

It's an invitation not a summons.
I wouldn't go either, he sounds like an arsehole.

He shouldn't be having a barbeque anyway! But no, why on earth would you go given ge is a prize dick to his neice ffs? Why is it even a question? Ignore the apologists, they can go and enjoy his charming company if they want to.

tell him not to have a bbq

Well we're all supposed to be avoiding BBQs anyway after this evening's emergency mobile phone alert.
So use that as your excuse.

I love that so much! Just quoted "it's an invitation, not a summons" in the family WhatsApp ❤️

@AmandaEatsLemons
Id love to take credit for it, but I picked that up on MN! It's worth remembering tho. 😁

That was my take too 🤣

What about, ‘“no”, is a complete sentence”?

I think it’s just disposable barbecues that are banned. Normal ones are obviously very silly in this weather but not yet banned as far as I know.

Get your ducks in a row OP, this BBQ sounds hard work.

I can’t resist a barbecue. I fucking love barbecues.

I’d go and just ignore him.

If you’re not that bothered then don’t go. In reality you can get a nice enough burger at Wetherspoons.

This. This is the second thread I’ve heard people where people seem think the government alert told them bbqs were banned. Disposable bbqs aren’t even banned the alert just said you shouldn’t use them.

as you say, it’s better not to have a bbq, but it’s not banned or even mentioned in the alert.

They were banned from sale today.

Oh ok so you can’t buy a new one. That’s not the same as banning their use

Is Tamaras boyfriend ugly?

If I were you, I’d host my own BBQ and invite him to it. Just to chuck him in with the sausages 💋

@TammiesBackHurts are you the daughter? 👀

@NaurrrNo? Why would you say that? Do I really talk like a young person? I know I look like one, but what? Wow. I have no relation to Amanda at all. Do NOT assume things like that again. Thank you. 😒

I'm not sure what level of dickhead you would have to be to be antisocial enough to use one after getting a government alert and knowing they've been banned from sale.

The alert said disposable BBQ.

Anyway, some people on my husband's side of the family are claiming I should have put this aside and accepted the invitation anyway. Your thoughts?

I'd ask them why they came to that conclusion and to explain to you why they think you should put it aside.

I assumed a garden BBQ would still be ok, not that I own one (or have a garden). A proper BBQ on a patio isn't the same as a disposable on a dry field, I assumed it was the grass and lack of water if required that made them an issue.

Anyway, yanbu OP. It's a shame they aren't saying he shouldn't be a dick and expect people to want to be around him. Is he your DPs brother?

I don’t dispute that but it’s not disposable bbqs we’re talking about anyway

I think it’s because of your username and the op’s daughters name 😂😂