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AIBU?

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Child Maintenance-Should fathers on benefits pay more?

211 replies

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 09:19

My ExP owns his home outright, receives in excess of £1,200/month in disability benefits and works cash in hand. His only outgoings are food and utility bills for himself. Is it fair that he only pays £7.00/week maintenance for our DD10? For context, I am a lone parent and own a mortgaged home. I slightly exceed the threshold for universal credit. My disposable household income after mortgage and bills equates to half his, but with two people to support. Is the system broke? Should disposable income be considered by CMS when paying parent is in receipt of benefits?

OP posts:
CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 17:30

It’s for mental health problems as a result of drug addiction.

OP posts:
fiftyfiftyfifty · 11/08/2026 17:31

Maverickess · 11/08/2026 17:28

Tbh the most I've ever had in CM was when my DDs father was on benefits, because it got taken and given to me before he could refuse to pay it, when he was working we just went round in circles with CMS, because he never paid anything, job hopped and worked cash in hand and despite him running up a debt because he didn't pay anything, they didn't use any of their powers like attachments of earnings to collect.
So at least I go something when he claimed benefits.
It's not benefits or income that are the issue, it's it being socially acceptable for men to create children and bear no responsibility for them at all.

lucky you, my ex is on benefits and doesnt have to pay because he has “priority debts”

Jaxhog · 11/08/2026 17:31

So that's £1 a day. What does he think that will buy?

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 17:34

He knows it won’t buy anything, and this is my punishment for leaving him

OP posts:
SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 17:36

Maverickess · 11/08/2026 16:46

Or maybe he doesn't go on to have the next family if he can't afford both?

"Cut their goolies off" ?

I mean you may have little argument from me. However I feel society will disagree.

SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 17:46

fuckeditupbadly · 11/08/2026 17:18

You dont have a 'next family' if you cant support the existing one surely? And the point is that the children get resources as they should and the NRP owes a debt to the government / tax payer that wont be written off. If its still owed at death it comes from any estate before anyone can inherit.

The problem here, is people with no money have no money.

justintimeforxmas · 11/08/2026 17:50

Cockerpoomom · 11/08/2026 09:57

I never understand why people need the extra money on PIP when they work? Its like when the government allow alcoholics to claim sickness benefits which is more money and they don't have to look for work, so obviously they are being given extra money to sit at home and drink even more , where's the logic in any of the government systems?

I certainly don't understand why the CSA Dept don't do more to help parents who are claiming CSA for their DC. It all seems a bit useless really I'm sure back in the day 20 years ago my ex was paying £5 a week for our DS out of his benefits so it hasn't gone up much in 20 years. I stopped claiming it coz there was no point and he drifted off never to be seen again. How do they let the parent having to pay CSA owe so much in arrears? Especially when they claim benefits or work, they are quick enough taking money out of benefits or wages if you owe the council or the government money.
The whole system is ridiculous.

PIP is there to enable them to work. Adaptions etc so they can get to work etc.

For many it makes work feasible which is a good thing but obviously some abuse the system. No system is completely infallible. Being in work is generally good for your well being / self esteem.

SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 17:53

PIP is there to enable them to work. Adaptions etc so they can get to work etc

Is it ?

Is it really ?

Maverickess · 11/08/2026 17:53

SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 17:36

"Cut their goolies off" ?

I mean you may have little argument from me. However I feel society will disagree.

I mean it could appeal to some....... 😳 But just ensuring that the penalties for non payment are in line with things like council tax, you get a real battering if you miss payments, bailiffs, attachment of earnings etc would start the process. CMS should be a priority payment/debt like council tax is imo.

MademoisellePraline · 11/08/2026 17:54

Ok. You're conflating two issues.

CMS is calculated on your earned income. There is a flat rate if you are on benefits, but only if you have no earned income either.

If his entire income is £1200 benefits a month (what is this by the way because that's more than full level daily living component and mobility component of pip combined) then he will likely pay the £7.

If he still gets the pip, which as pp says, you can be a millionaire and claim it, but he earns £30k a year, he is liable to pay CMS on that full £30k (they might give a small allowance for pension deductions).

If he has rental income, or income from other assets then you can contest the calculation. As for a variation. Raise a high level complaint (in CMS this is called a dissatisfaction) and do not confirm you are satisfied with their dealings until the FIU is involved and pull him in for interview. Raise dissatisfactions against the FIU if they are dragging their feet. They start becoming very compliant with what you need to get that dissatisfaction off their case record.

So your issue is not the benefits. Your issue is the undeclared income that should all be liable to CMS. The difficulty is now proving it because it's cash in hand. Keep reporting to HMRC. On and on and on. Take photos of him on the roof. Report to pip fraud. Report it to your MP. They have a direct line to CMS and can put a fire up them.

I've just had over £40k arrears from my twat of an ex because they told him they would sell his house and sent it to court. After 6yrs of CMS doing utter fuck all, I found out about the MP angle and the dissatisfaction thing, and he was hauled in under threat of arrest to the FIU and my money was with me within a year.

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:56

SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 17:53

PIP is there to enable them to work. Adaptions etc so they can get to work etc

Is it ?

Is it really ?

What else do you think it is for?

Error404FucksNotFound · 11/08/2026 17:57

Report him to hmrc with as much detail as you can.

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 17:57

SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 17:46

The problem here, is people with no money have no money.

He does have capital, he owns his home outright. If monies could be recovered from his Estate on death, this would cover child maintenance arrears. His house is worth about 400k

OP posts:
Minasama · 11/08/2026 17:57

If you’re on benefits you have no business fathering a child. Clearly you cannot afford to support them adequately.

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:58

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 17:57

He does have capital, he owns his home outright. If monies could be recovered from his Estate on death, this would cover child maintenance arrears. His house is worth about 400k

Primary residence is not capital for benefit purposes.

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:59

Minasama · 11/08/2026 17:57

If you’re on benefits you have no business fathering a child. Clearly you cannot afford to support them adequately.

How about mothering them?
Are people on benefits (40% of UC claimants work) not allowed to have kids?

LlynTegid · 11/08/2026 17:59

I agree about the system being broke. Those who don't pay have no meaningful sanction (bankruptcy or no passport would be options I would consider), and above all we are almost the European capital of cash in hand jobs. The latter is one of the incentives for people to come here in small boats.

SerendipityJane · 11/08/2026 18:00

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:56

What else do you think it is for?

Whatever the recipient needs ?

sittingonabeach · 11/08/2026 18:00

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:56

What else do you think it is for?

In this case it appears to be paying for him to be able to snort stuff up his nose

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 18:01

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:58

Primary residence is not capital for benefit purposes.

Maybe it should be?

OP posts:
MademoisellePraline · 11/08/2026 18:03

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 17:58

Primary residence is not capital for benefit purposes.

But it can be sold to cover CMS arrears, as long as the arrears are a certain amount and they obtain a liability order, which is then made into a charging order.

There's probably a rule that you can't do it if there's a pip claimant living there though.

x2boys · 11/08/2026 18:05

Minasama · 11/08/2026 17:57

If you’re on benefits you have no business fathering a child. Clearly you cannot afford to support them adequately.

It takes two to tango
Pleanty of women have children they can ill afford.

XenoBitch · 11/08/2026 18:05

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 18:01

Maybe it should be?

I don't agree. Primary residence means the home you live in. People who own their homes are not claiming the housing element of UC.
Make them sell up, and eventually they will be.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 11/08/2026 18:07

CalmGreenWasp · 11/08/2026 17:57

He does have capital, he owns his home outright. If monies could be recovered from his Estate on death, this would cover child maintenance arrears. His house is worth about 400k

Does he have child maintenance arrears? Has he not been paying the amount he’s been instructed to pay?

HelenHywater · 11/08/2026 18:09

MotherofPufflings · 11/08/2026 15:55

I would like to see the law changed so that there is a minimum amount of maintenance that a child is entitled to and that money is paid to the resident parent via HMRC. That money then becomes a debt from the non-resident parent to the government and it is owed (with interest) for the rest of their life and from their estate if necessary. No escape, no way of wriggling out of it. It's only written off if there's no money left when they die.

It will never happen, but as a society non-payment of child maintenance should be treated as seriously as tax evasion.

I agree with this approach. If the govt paid child maintenance direct to the resident parent and then reclaimed it from the non-resident parent, I'm sure they'd be better at going after the fathers. I think this is the approach in Germany and other places.

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