AIBU to want to move house after falling over so spectacularly?

[WhiteWriting]

This morning I tripped over the doorframe, fell into the house, pulled the curtain pole down, broke two toes and ended up at the doctors with a cut on my leg that wouldn't stop bleeding. All this in front of the guys working on my house who witnessed me crying and swearing like a trooper. Also cried in front of the nurse. And the neighbours witnessed it all too. I have to move now don't I? Come and tell me your 'I fell over' tales of woe to make me feel better please.

My worst fall was leaving work one day, going down the marble-type staircase that had metal and rubber trims. The front of my high heel caught on the trim, and I forward rolled face-first down half the flight of stairs, because for some reason I didn't use my hands to break the fall.
The large work bag on my shoulder wasn't zipped closed, so almost all of my belongings went flying and ended up arrayed around me (as did the offending shoes, which came off during the roll).
I somehow ended up sat on the lobby floor, facing the stairs I'd just stacked it down. I promptly burst into tears, which is when a notoriously stoic colleague came upon me - the panic on his face as he tried to figure out how to deal with me crying was almost the worst part. But actually it was the broken nose and very swollen/bruised eye!
Most recently, my foot went in a divot graveside at my grandad's funeral. I thought I'd saved myself by stumbling forwards, but in the end I just travelled a bit then fell on my hands and knees in a slow-motion way. My cousin said she only noticed because I was holding a giant golf umbrella as a sunshade, and she saw it slowly swinging down in an arc as I went. I guess at least I didn't fall INTO the open grave... though grandad would have probably found it hilarious if I did😂

I slipped on my driveway at the end of May and broke both bones in my lower leg.
I had to yell loudly enough for OH to hear me inside - meaning the neighbours probably heard as well.
While on the phone to the ambulance service a different neighbour wanted to get past our house to his own - but couldn't because I was lying on the floor wimpering.
He and OH had to haul my not inconsiderable middle aged bulk into the back of OH's car because the ambulance was going to be several hours.

In the minor injuries unit then nice triage nurse (also young enough to be my grandson!) said he was going to take my shoe off. I squealed 'No don't touch it, it'll hurt' like I was a toddler!

Weeks later at a trauma unit appointment they told me to start weight bearing in a boot with crutches. I took one sort of step with said crutches, almost fell and had to be caught by the doctor and nurse. They suggested I get a walking frame!

I feel I should probably move out of the county!!!

If this isn't a joke then you have a desperate need to develop a sense of humour!

I've had a few "5.9 for artistic intepretation" moments.

My last was a couple of Christmases ago. I was wearing a head torch and walking our (now departed much loved) staffy in the dark up a hill. I caught my foot on an uneven bit of pavement. I stopped, staffy didn't and after a nanosecond of being suspended in mid air I toppled inexorably forward like a felled tree, dragged on by the lead. I landed arms stretched in front of me, on my fingers. I was very lucky not to hit my face. Lacerated my little finger, possibly broke end of it.

Staffy just stood there somewhat bemused "it's teatime you daft idiot, now is not the time to be having a lie down on the pavement."

Of course it was rush hour and a whole stream of cars had a prime view of my misfortune, lit up in headlights. One car stopped and a lovely couple from the local plant nursery walked me and the dog home.

I was proper shaken up and sore after. Falls are not fun when you get to an age that you no longer bounce. Never mind the embarrassment factor.

Naw, no move needed. I was running up the stairs at my local Tube station, in a hurry but didn't need to be. Caught my toe on the top step and really went flying, landing fully on my shoulder. Yes, witnesses plus train driver got off and came over to check on me. Thought I'd just torn something, got on the train and kept going. Changed my mind about 3 stops in, came home. Refused to go to A&E late that night (was a full moon). Ultimately found out I'd broken it in 4 places, and I now have an entirely new shoulder. I hope it all heals quickly!

I fell over when going for a wee in some bushes last week while on a long walk in the Lake District. I lost my balance just at the worst "no stopping me now" moment and had to sit bare-cheeked weeing directly into the ground THAT I WAS SITTING ON desperately trying to keep my trousers and underwear hoisted up enough not to get pissed on. My wet arse was covered in leaves and mud, who knows, maybe a small animal or two? And I had to spend the next couple of hours like that (clothed), until I got to a pub toilet. You should have seen the amount of "nature" that fell out of my pants. Oh my god. This occurred in the presence of my OH who was acting as lookout for me. Who btw got me a shewee as a stocking filler last Christmas. No I didn't remember to take it with us.

I went to this ,I am a man and it was a first date I had with a girl was trying to get to know , we got in the elevator it stopped at the basement , I got out did not see my date again for over 2 hours

Well, it was a weird first date with someone you were trying to get to know, as Punchdrunk is up front about encouraging audience members to split up and move around separately from whoever they came with. And even if you’d progressed through the venue together, cloaked and masked isn’t really the best ‘getting to know you’ set up.

See, you missed an opportunity there to style it out with a forward roll, ending in the splits with arms out at the sides and a "Tada! I'm home!"! But seriously ouch, I feel for you! It'll all been forgotten in a few days! 💐

Oh, where to start?
Ok, so I fell over in a commercial kitchen and broke my knee. In front of people.
I slipped behind a bar, and broke my arm. in front of many people.
I tripped down a step, and snapped a tendon in my ankle. You guessed it, in front of people.
I tripped while running and buggered up the above mentioned knee again. Happily not in front of people.
I fell through a doorway and broke my other arm. Only in front of my husband.
I fell down the stairs and ended up in a&e all night on a back board with a cervical collar on because everyone thought I’d broken my back. This fall was in front of my child, who helpfully said “Mummy, you fell over.”

I am a walking liability.

I slipped down one of the escalators at Oxford Circus in rush hour! It had been raining heavily and I was wearing Converse (which I then discovered was a deadly combination). I scraped my leg really badly and had the imprint of the escalator on one calf for ages - first in the form of cuts and then as scabs.

I fell over last year in my wetroom they couldn’t lift me as they were worried I had done damage to shoulder and pelvis .i weighed 20 stone so they couldn’t lift me and couldn’t turn to face hall to get on the inflatable cushion and the fire brigade had to scoop me out the house to gurney outside. I was so embarrassed! Luckily nothing wrong and I was so embarrassed about all the people that saw me ! I had no choice but to leave the house . Better news I have lost a couple of stone since then . Accidents happen really don’t worry about it people are more understanding than you think . Get well soon xxx

Some years ago my husband fell over when we were on holiday, he reached out to grab my arm but got hold of my trousers he ended up on the floor with my trousers in his hand, I don’t know who was the most embarrassed.

I slipped over coming out of The Long Bar at Raffles in Singapore (a slice of fruit on the ground). My DH pointed out to the concerned bystanders that I couldn't possibly be drunk as we aren't that wealthy. It was highly embarrassing all round - grazed knees and too poor to be drunk 😳

Slightly different - my one and only spliff ever outside a canalside bar with husband in Amsterdam - smoked it like you would a fag - far too quick, next thing I feinted and came round to a bucket of water being thrown over me , people staring and was hastily bundled into a cab by H back to hotel - I was about 55 at the time too

Sort of a fall. I fainted on a very busy train from my holiday resort into Barcelona. I (obviously) fell to the ground, I was wearing a dress, exposed my knickers to the train carriage & was helped up. Then my 15 year old daughter, who I was with was frightened so made me get off the train. We got off at quite an isolated station & had to wait about 30. minutes to get another train. We then proceeded to get off at the wrong station & had to get back on again. We went a couple of stops further down & the train stopped & we were stuck for an hour. Anyway, I’ve never been to Barcelona 🤣🤣

I fell in the middle of Leeds too, was with my daughter we were going to see Wicked. She carried on walking several people picked me up had to go to Boots to get patched up for gashed knees then get replacement for my smashed watch.

I walked straight into a lamp-post in the car park of a small firm I was about to interview with, the interviewers saw it all!

I fell off my bicycle in a crowded High Street 🤣🤣🤣it hurt so much but I limped off embarrassed to the nearest toilets to inspect the damage to my knees!

Sports day, tripped over my feet in the mums race and smashed my face into the grass. Very embarrassing infront of 50 other parents & 100 kids!

I was out at lunchtime with a colleague and we were giggling so hard at something (can't recall what) that I fell over. Then I judt could not get up because falling made me weak with laughter. Mid 30s at the time. Rolling about on the ground. Idiot.

I have a very similar story, thankfully not my own!

About 20 years ago, DH was in an airport in Spain with a bunch of colleagues waiting for a flight home. The airport was quite swanky with a shiny white tiled floor.

As they sat having a drink before checking in, a couple wandered through the airport with a Great Dane, which chose the middle of the concourse to drop a huge liquid-consistency runny shit.

A minute later a guy dressed head to toe in white linen - sockless loafers, big watch, shades, leather man bag - came charging through, looking up at the information boards.

He skidded into the shit at such velocity there was actually a moment where his entire body was airborne, before he plapped back down lengthways in it. DH said he’d never seen anyone more covered in dog shit, from the back of his head to his loafers.

Tough day at the office for the poor bloke. And everyone else on his flight.

I literally fell last week getting off tge new treadmill at my gym last Thursday. A guy two machines over hit the emergency stop ( id thankfully already stopped the machine before I fell). I had to lay there on the machine for a minute, in front of everyone to get my bearings, then get up and clean up the treadmill fir the next person....I absolutely know how you are feeling. I am very proud of myself for still going again on Friday (but was very grateful not to see the guy that hit the button).

My knee just failed me, on a trip into Norwich. I was just crossing Theatre Street and, suddenly, I was on the ground. People rushed to help, which was nice. I cut my hands and chin quite badly but nothing life threatening. A nice lady took me for a cup of tea in St Stephens Church Cafe, nearby.
Naturally I can never go back to Norwich ever again, as long as I live. So yes, definitely sell up and move far, far away 😂

I hope you are ok and you heal up very quickly.

Some of the pavements in Leeds are deadly! I posted in another thread a while back about sliding down Eastgate on one knee like I was performing Torville and Deans Bolero, because I slipped on a carrier bag in the rain! I don't know who was more shocked, all the pub goers having to jump back as they were leaving the pub or me at the speed I was going! 😣🤣❤️