Worried about GCSEs

[alevelbtec]

I can't sleep at night as worried about teen dd and her results. She failed all her mock exams except English. I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family but I don't think she will be able to. I am really panicking about her future. AIBU!? I think it's effecting me more, she pretends she's ok or maybe she isn't I don't know.

Apprenticeships all depends what ones. The Big4 school leaver ones are good. You still need maths and English passes though.

Agreed. Fingers crossed for 4s in English and Maths, OP.

It seems like you had a bit of a pre thought out plan for what she would be doing that might not end up being the reality. My dad was the same with me, he assumed I would go to university and never understood why I was dead against it. I hated a classroom environment and always knew I would thrive more in paid employment. I started in my career at 19 and was in senior operations by the end of my 20s. I now manage a multitude of people, many of whom have degrees which went on to be unused. I also did later revisit education and got a masters in senior leadership but it was in my own time when I genuinely wanted to pursue it. Trust me, all won’t be lost for your daughter if she doesn’t go to university!

You’re clearly Ind anger of being her worst enemy here.

she clearly is not cut out for a levels and definitely not uni!support her and let her lead the way!

and try and hide your bloody disappointment.

Not a lot either of you can do about it now. Yes, I get you are stressed but is she? What is more worrying is you saying " I want her to do Alevels and go to university". What does she want?. A levels are a massive step up from GCSE and if you force her into that path you are setting her up to fail. The fact she bombed her gcse mockss speaks volumes. Uni isnt for everyone and for many a vocational route is better. So chill, wait for results, support HER choices. If she fails english and maths then support her to get these as a minimum.

They had dyslexic and dyspraxic friends who did well at school

Well if she fails GCSEs she's not clever enough to be a Dr/lawyer etc

I can understand your anxiety. We all want our children to be happy and do well. GCSE’s can be redone, there are many other routes in to university if that’s what they want to do and there are many MANY careers that don’t require either. I have a son waiting on results too, passed all his last mocks, failed the ones before that. They are young and have plenty of time. Good luck to you all

I sympathise. I am also having sleepless nights. My DD has had a torrid time of school with mental and physical health problems meaning she has missed so much. She has always been academically capable but has missed so much, including her mocks, that it's unlikely she will come out with very good results. We have very few local college options and for various reasons the options there are not likely to be suitable for her needs but she is unlikely to get suitable grades to allow her to go on to study A-levels which she really wants to do. One thing I was shocked by when I was looking into it is that other than English and maths, it is virtually impossible to have another go and resit GCSEs. It seems like it's one chance only.

I rationalised to my DD that it's out of our control now and no point worrying about it but I can't seem to follow my own advice.

I’ve been a teacher for 26 years and can say with certainty that all children have talents, they all do better if they work hard and they aren’t all suited to an academic career.

Thank goodness, otherwise we’d have to cut our own hair, fix our own cars, rewire our own house (after we’d built them, of course) and there’d be no shops to buy food.

TBF I have to wonder about this poster looking at their username and having a very blunt "uni or nothing" approach

What does she want to do? Unless she knows what she wants to do there isn’t much point going to Uni. She does need to get a pass in maths and English though. Have you looked at local colleges to see what they can offer alongside maths tests? There is also a functional maths GCSE she could do instead. Most jobs only want Maths and English pass marks so best she focuses on those. The choose a course at college she will enjoy.

She isn’t you, let her find her own path.

Does she want to go to uni? With the massive costs and debt, I would only encourage a dc who genuinely needed uni for their chosen career.

Hairdressing is not a low paid job. All the hairdressers I know make a good living. Get your head out of your backside and support your child.

I am in touch with precisely 0 people with whom I went to university. It opened NO doors.
Yes I learned to live independently on £0/overdraft, and - to my parents - was an acceptable way of leaving home.
I was the first person in my family to go to university and earned "great praise" on getting a degree. A good degree, from a good institution.
I work in my passion area for not much money and a great deal of happiness.
I loved the academic rigour of university and how it shaped my critical thinking... would I do it now for excess debt? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

TBF pressing someone into uni isn't good. But making sure your DC does as good as they can in their GCSEs is fine. Like they aren't the top caliber but they should at least aim to pass.

GCSEs are not the end of the world. There are alternatives. You’ll help her find them.

Excuse me please don’t diss apprenticeships. My DS is doing a degree apprenticeship at a blue chip tech company and did Btec’s and proved himself at an internship. There are loads of great early career opportunities in all fields including law and healthcare if that is what your child wants. You talk about earning potential, it sounds like you want to sit on your arse in your old age, boast to your mates and sponge off your child. Poor kid.

My sister pushed my niece into uni and she hated it and dropped out after a year. Sit down with her and find out what she likes. You can’t make her do what you want her to do. How do you know she won’t be the best hairdresser in the world and earn loads travelling around as a stylist to the stars or she might open her own salon and be really successful. Shes not you and has her own life to lead. My daughter is getting her results next week too and I wouldn’t dream of making her go down a path just because I wanted it.

Didn't go to uni. Got a trade became an electrician and out earned all my peers. Moved to the railway 4 years ago. My wage touches about 125k. You are being ridiculous. There is lots she can do.

Why are they flippant? I come from a family where all of us went to Uni so its hard for me to understand any other options!

i don't understand how you didn't figure out she wasn't university level academic before now? even more so if you attended university.

In my family all five of us went to uni - all got post grads and one is even a uni lecturer.

I think you need to give your head a wobble. I have a daughter at a RG uni who has expressed an interest in hair dressing. We got her work experience at a salon over the summer to see if she wants to leave uni to be a hair dresser.

I want my child to be happy - could not give two tosses if she finishes her degree or leaves uni to be a hair dresser. Your child knows you are disappointed in her - not great for her confidence … do better as a parent.

While fewer than 3% of electricians ever reach £125,000 at the peak of their careers, an estimated 30% to 35% of LSE Economics graduates breach that threshold—and they do it much faster, often within just 5 to 10 years of graduating.

This.

what has academic life been like for her so far? Primary and secondary schooling? 11? Sats? Her general attainment levels?

did she enjoy school or struggle throughout? Need support?

Have you ever thought that happiness is the most important thing? We are a very academic and successful family but have a DS who will struggle to get GCSE’s due to SEN. Do we judge his earning potential? Hell no we just want him to be happy. Again another parent who wants to boast and sponge regardless of whether their children are happy.