Would you judge a middle aged quiet couple playing cards in a pub rather than bigly conversing?

[Fifteen2fifteen4]

We're mid Fifties, been married together forever.

We're playing cards in a hotel lobby which we always do when we're away. Always happily but we don't really chat much.

If you were sitting chattingin a couple or bubbly in a group across from us, would you judge?

I feel a bit self-conscious that we're don't look as though we're having a companionable time.

We go away 2 or 3 times a month to nice places but don't sit and chatter, just sit in lobbies and pubs in the evening and get cards or backgammon out.

Lynn, these are quiet people.

Aibu to feel jusged?

I’d be wishing I’d brought cards ( if I noticed you ) @Fifteen2fifteen4crib ?

Well thank you all for the reassurance.

Lost power on my phone and were in the middle of a backgammon marathon I won 11-10, tyvm, that why delayed reply.

To answer a few. Yes I know it's stupid to be bothered about others' reactions but I always feel I've lead a vanilla life, and always worried I appear boring in comparison to funner people out and about. But I'm generally content with my lot 🥰.

We're both not terribly chatty folk so just happy to be alongside each other. We once drove from the Midlands to Bude and I think the only thing we said to each other was "Gloucester services?" "Of fecking course" but we listen to podcasts and shared Spotify playlist.

The word lobby seems to have given rise to confusion; some hotels have sort of mixed use lobbies/bars. We tend to sit in the less rambunctious areas.

We go away a lot because DH stays in hotels 4 or 5 nights a week through work, so we have gazillion loyalty points, and we follow Prem rugby around the country in season.

We play cribbage, whist, some tweaked version of 99 (😵‍💫), slam and backgammon, yahtzee. If we're with others it's rummikub and nomination whist. I've got Skyjo but we haven't tried that yet but heard good reviews.

Any big group of people who are spending their time judging another group in the pub/lobby are not having as companionable and good time as you seem to think!

What does it matter though? If they are all side eyeing you and judging, are you going to get a pack of conversation starters, abandoned the games you love, and put on a false conversation for them?

Why do you think people are that interested in what you do, i am at places to enjoy myself not bothered by other people that much to judge

You are not central to other peoples enjoyment same as they shouldn't be to you

Not at all. In fact, I'd be slightly envious.

This is exactly what we did on a wet weekend away a few weeks ago. My DH bought me a new card game for my birthday and we had a jolly hour with a drink or two waiting for our dinner reservation time. I said YANBU to do it but might have got the question confused.

Oh, and we're 42!

YABU to feel judged.
I wouldn’t judge you at all - it’s what we do too!

Edit - And have been doing for years, started with my parents on holidays when we were kids, then with friends, now with my partner.

I judge ‘bigly’, not cards.

So no one’s actually judging you? But you feel judged?

YABU.

Assuming you’re not playing strip poker….

I would not set any value on what randoms thought of me.

Sounds lovely. DH and I often enjoy a glass of wine and a cryptic crossword.

Honestly, no one is judging you one way or the other.

It’s absolutely fine, but WTF is bigly conversing?

First world problem

Not sure how to converse bigly

We play cards and Yahtzee often and played Mastermind from the 1970’s recently when we were in a Pub as they had it. The best tip to get by in life is to never care what others think

I go to lots of hotels, I couldn’t give a hoot what people are doing unless they are actually effecting me personally. I don’t really look at other people or what they are doing unless it is really weird or disruptive like falling over drunk in the lobby, shouting at people etc.
its a hotel, you playing cards will the very least most interesting thing people can see in the lobby. So no one will care, they might wish they had a pack of cards for example but that’s probably it

Love rummikub!

I was in a country pub not long ago for Sunday lunch, with a big family group, loads of chatter etc. There were a couple sat across the room from us having a drink and playing cards, honestly I thought it looked like the perfect way to spend an afternoon. No judgement here, just envy!

Dobble is our family go to

They would have to be watching you for a certain amount of time to even form an unwanted nothing to do with them opinion. I'd be more concerned about what the motive was for watching and forming an opinion was cos most people are busy doing their own thing....

‘bigly conversing’ 🙄

We can't judge. We're 59 and 61, and can often be found playing cards, dominoes, rummykub. We're normally chatting away, but as long as you're happy that's fine. You're actually engaging with eachother anyway, which is more than some people do if they're each on their mobiles, or others you just see sat there looking into space with nothing to say.

I don't care at all what you're doing op - most people think much less about you and your behaviours than you think so carry on, it sounds like you have a really happy relationship