Would you judge a middle aged quiet couple playing cards in a pub rather than bigly conversing?

[Fifteen2fifteen4]

We're mid Fifties, been married together forever.

We're playing cards in a hotel lobby which we always do when we're away. Always happily but we don't really chat much.

If you were sitting chattingin a couple or bubbly in a group across from us, would you judge?

I feel a bit self-conscious that we're don't look as though we're having a companionable time.

We go away 2 or 3 times a month to nice places but don't sit and chatter, just sit in lobbies and pubs in the evening and get cards or backgammon out.

Lynn, these are quiet people.

Aibu to feel jusged?

Sounds fine to me, but if you’re both having a nice time, who cares what anyone else thinks?

Not at all, we always play cards when we’re away and we’re 20 years younger than you! In fact, if I was in a group I’d probably be jealous

We do that too when we are away for weekends. But we chat at other times. I don’t worry about being judged.

I wouldn't give a shit.

My kind of marriage. Enjoy!

No. I wouldn't even pay attention to you.

I'm not sure what you think anyone might judge you for. You're both engaged in the same enjoyable activity together - that's very companionable! Sounds like an idyllic way to spend your time to me.

I don’t want to sound mean but I think you overestimate how much people care about anyone other than themselves! I literally wouldn’t look twice.

Seems perfectly fine to me.
I've also been married forever. On holiday DH and I will chat or sometimes play cards.
We're not social people so wouldn't make friends or talk to anyone else on holiday. We might play a word game while having a drink or just watch the world go by.
I think it shows you're both comfortable in each other's company

Aren’t you a bit old to worry what random strangers think? Why do you care? Just stop caring.

I’m the same age as you btw.

Its completely normal, don't let anyone make you believe otherwise as you are both happily minding your own buisness and playing cards, it harmless.

I think that's exactly the definition of a companiable time. You're happily spending time together - what's wrong with that?

DH and I (late forties but i don't think it matters!) went away to an English country house hotel recently. It was lovely and sunny, so we got a couple of glasses of wine and sat in the garden reading our books. The waiter commented how unusual it was to just see people being comfortable enough in each other's company that we didn't feel the need to talk the whole time. We thought it was perfectly normal!

Blimey OP I'd be really pleased to see you playing cards! I absolutely love playing cards myself and I'd see you as a kindred spirit.

I would notice but I would think how lovely.

One of XHs only redeeming features was that he was good fun with cards/ games/quizzes, we would have a great time (admittedly would have a load of cocktails so probs not quiet) and we were in our 20s/30s!

Not sure how to vote but went for YABU to think you would be judged. I certainly wouldn’t anyway. Sounds fun.

This! I’d be envious if anything.

We do things like that. Maybe not in the lobby but definitely in the bar or garden. If we were in our room it would probably be Scrabble or Boggle

Not at all, for context DP and I are in our 30s and would happily do either (cards or chatting, laughing with a few cocktails). You get to spend your life doing whatever makes you happy - don’t worry about how others perceive you.

Much more sociable than DH and me, who given half a chance if we ever had a holiday with no kids would spend almost all of it reading our respective books in silence!

Id think good for them, why would anyone think any different?

Playing games together is a companionable time.

I wouldn't look or think twice about what you were or were not doing.

We are on holiday albeit with our 3 kids and at every meal/bar we have had uno out and have a libely competition going. SO many tables with couples or families on their phones for the vast majority - that I do notice. You playing cards I would think what fun if anything!

A group of people out having fun with their friends are very unlikely to be judging (or even noticing!) the actions of a random couple they don’t know sitting across the other side of a pub!

Yahtzee is also a good one for a fun time in a hotel bar or pub. Travel versions are available, and when there’s only 2 of you, it can be very quick but the scorecards have multiple rounds, so you can just keep going if you want.

In a place that has it’s own games that patrons can play, we always look out for Connect 4. We have the traditional set at home with a score card in the box lid going back about 18 years. I am slightly ahead!!!