Friends mocking my engagement :(

[UpShitsCreek]

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

How disgraceful of your "friends" they are not your so called friends do not invite them to the wedding and time for pastures new.
Good luck.

I hope you think you were being funny.

In case of doubt, you weren't.

Funny? No.

This is the Op BEST friends and they have revealed themselves to be utterly vile.

Does that not make you question a little the OP’s judgement in people?

Your friends say everything about you. The people who mocked this proposal as ‘cheap’ and ‘thoughtless’ are the OP’s ‘best friends’, according to her. There’s something not quite right somewhere here.

I mean, it’s technically possible that the fruends are wonderful people who have good reason to be less than keen on the OP’s fiancé.

They are not your friends.

That’s beautiful and thoughtful and they’re rude and horrid!

My parents got engaged sitting on the sofa and one said do you fancy getting married and the other went yep! I’ve always thought that was as romantic as it gets - life isn’t about big staged moments, 99% of marriage is sitting on a sofa next to someone you want to spend time with, hopefully for the rest of your life.

If it did this certainly isn't a thread I'd be writing that opinion on.

Since when did the decision 2 people make that they are going to get married become a performance? Why do anybody else’s thoughts or feelings about how it happens matter?

YOU loved it, OP. That’s all that matters.

Your friends are shallow and judgemental. Sorry you had to find that out over something which is so significant to you.

Congratulations.

It was poor of them but you know that. I'm sure we all have very different views on what a proposal should be or what we'd want, doesn't mean you shoot another person down in their moment that they were happy with though does it.

Any proposal full stop (or wedding) isn't something that appeals to me personally but I've heard and seen several over the years and only felt happiness and joy for friends, because they are happy and it's exciting. The only occasion I can think of when that wasn't the case was when we didn't like the persons partner because he treated her very badly in general - still stepped up and celebrated though, just had that conversation diplomatically at another time.

Congratulations!

Are you 'friends' engaged/married?

They seem materialistic. Love is love. In a restaurant, in front of loads of people, in the comfort of your own home. What does it matter?

I'd die if I was proposed to in public. I hate attention! As long as you are happy and in love what does it matter!?

Good to know

Thank you, yes agreed

Surely if they are your best friends they would know that something low key and personal is what you wanted and would be pleased for you??

he is incredibly happy about it, and keeps pointing out the road where it happened “that’s where I said I love you for the first time and asked you to be my wife”

That's just beautiful. 💐

I agree

It was a sweet proposal. Congratulations to you both

I hope you won't be asking that miserable pair to be bridesmaids!

They are not your friends...

Start distancing yourself from them and get a new social circle.

Somebody's dream proposal is somebody else's nightmare.

Maybe your friend are happy with their Kardashian proposal, dressed for Prom and had a team of people taking photos of videos so they could put it all over social media. Having it planned in advance for hair and make-up is a bit sad, but their choice.

Yours was beautiful and so thoughtful.

Your "friends" are bitches. There is no reason or explanation for mocking someone, unless one of them fancied the groom.

What a shitty response. Don’t let it get you down - YOU were pleased, and your fiance (whoop!) sounds like a sweetie too.
i hope they come to their senses and apologise / pop round with some fizz.
have you told them they’ve upset you?

This absurd idea that a proposal has to be choreographed and set up and consciously 'romantic' - what could BE more romantic than going to that ordinary place that's special only to both of you, and it sounds like it was a genuine and happy surprise for you?

Your friends sound shallow and unimaginative and a bit unclassy, TBH.

They're dicks.

Don't let them spoil what sounds like a lovely proposal

Congratulations! 🥂

Im so sorry these women you trusted are being so unpleasant. I’m also sorry to say they are not your friends. No one who loves you would be so unkind. Take a break from them both and don’t even think of getting them involved in your wedding. 🌸 The proposal sounds beautiful- focus on happy t8mes with your fiancé

Huge congratulations on what sounds like a lovely proposal from a man who listens to you and sounds like he understands what you would actually like.

Your friends can't be real, good, friends if they behaved like that.

That sounds like a lovely proposal. Your friends are completely unreasonable.
I was also proposed to in my PJs, DH thought it would be lovely to slip the ring on my finger while I slept for me to wake up to while we were away on a hotel break, it did NOT work and I kept waking wondering why he was poking at my hands, I was absolutely delighted when he gave in and proposed, I couldn’t have cared less what either of us were wearing!
SIL on the other hand was raging at her other half’s proposal being in a local park (a lovely park, with meaning to them both) and told him to wait and propose somewhere more romantic 🙈

Are your friends 9 years old?

'I'd be sick if I was proposed to in my pajamas' sounds like something a primary school child would say.

Are your friends single, OP? Or unhappily married? I can only assume they're acting out of spite and jealousy.