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AIBU?

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Friend and Daughter Issues

129 replies

MondeoFan · 08/08/2026 08:42

Please let me know if I’m being unreasonable here. I have a good friend that I see every weekend. Sometimes we go to a park, cinema, restaurant, pub garden etc that type of thing. She has been suffering with her mental health for a couple years and I’ve been supporting her with this best I can.
The issue is her DD behaviour. Her DD is 4 years younger than my DD but they get on ok and we can normally go somewhere suitable for both of them.
My friend has basically no control over her DD. Her DD is quite mean to my DD so much so that my DD is saying she doesn’t want to meet up with them anymore. I know people will say it’s kids being kids but her DD hits my daughter and spits at her to get her own way. E.g if my daughter sits down after running around for quite a while she will try and pull her up and if my DD doesn’t want to get up she will spit at her. Last night she kept hitting her with the hula hoop in her back. My friend either says nothing or tells her off in a lighthearted way.

ive tried to intervene in the past and the child has pulled a face and tried to spit at me. What would you do? I’m trying to be supportive of my friend and they do have a 4 year age gap so my DD is really well behaved tbh as I’m much stricter than my friend. It’s horrible to see as my DD has been bullied at school about her looks and now I feel like I’m allowing her to be bullied essentially by this child as she’s quite mean.

i told my DD everytime she does something say “no thank you” etc

OP posts:
TheJoyousHiker · 26/09/2026 18:19

You need to say to your friend that you will only be meeting her without your DD going forward as the age gap is making it un-enjoyable for everyone and it’s clear they are not getting on.

Cakeandcardio · 26/09/2026 20:01

I have a friend with a badly behaved kid. He got two chances to be horrible to my kid. No meet ups with the kids again.

BeUmberMember · 29/09/2026 22:43

Why is your daughter being bullied at school about her "looks" ? Have you taken action with the school about this? Can you boost her confidence in some way ?

Xanhi · Yesterday 07:25

My mother had a friend with a younger feral child. I only went round there once. I spent the journey home telling my mother about how awful he was and how I would never go round there again. She whole heartedly agreed with me and only ever went by herself after that. I was 9 at the time and he was about 4or 5. What is with this 'no thank you' business? Teach your child that she doesn't have to spend time with anyone who treats her like this and never put her through it again.

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