AIBU to want a relationship but feel it is impossible to tolerate a man? Anyone else?

[Yrepw]

I truly dislike them. Of course there’s one or two I hold in high esteem but even they are entitled in a way that most women are not.

I used to love the idea of marriage and even being a stay at home parent, the idea of being a team with a man and building a relationship. I’m now in my forties and quite literally every man I have been involved with has caused me some pain in some way. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But truly, the way I have been treated by men even at the best of times has often been filled with stress, being patronised, being let down. I know people will read this and think ‘well choose a better man’ but honestly these men were some of the ‘good ones.’

I would love to have a marriage but can’t face a man in my life. Sadly I’m not a lesbian. Has anyone else reached this point?!

Oh my god. Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? I usually defend MN when I see those ‘everyone’s horrible here’ posts but I will remember your unsolicited anger towards this poor poster next time. Try to ignore, sunnycrow.

Some of the comments on this thread are unhinged. Applied to any other group of people in society they would be taken down as discrimination. The arrogance of the assumption that as women we are perfect and that if relationships break down we are in no way responsible is astounding. Even allowing for the fact that some of the posters don’t believe what they’re saying and are just posting for the approval of others on mumsnet I’m appalled at the level of misandry on display.

I genuinely cant think of a single time since maybe I left primary school when it would have occurred to me to hit someone or answer or shout at them. No-one in my family or friendship group has ever had a fist fight. Its not universal human behaviour.

it's a well-know fact that SOME girls and women subdue their own strengths.

Some of us are just fine, thank you. Maybe because we consider boys and men as our equal, maybe because we were surrounded by the right ones, or a bit of both, I can't tell you.

But some of us even are boosted by the men around us just as much as the women. I know a handful of posters want to be in a world where the men are the enemy and an easy excuse for any of their own failing, but thankfully that's not most of us.

Put the red pill down and back away slowly.

I suppose these lads' fathers had nothing to do with it. Or their male teachers, club leaders etc.

Nah. A mother's place is in the wrong

You can find online (far too many) videos of gang of girls physically attacking and injuring each other or a lone victim.

Women shout just as much as men, the worst road rage I witness is by women! Often with kids in their car, when you think they'd try to avoid confrontation.

It's not acceptable, but some people are violent thugs. People, men or women.

The only people I've ever heard ask what a woman "brings to the table" are male podcasters who also go on about body count and compare women to old shoes or used cars or whatever. Yuk!

A friend of mine is having a great time with OLD by specifying that she wants casual, friendly, non-monogamous relationships. She is seeing a few men - each of whom brings a different desirable quality to her life, none of whom she has any desire to live with.

Would somethin like that work for you, OP?

A fair few butthurt men on this thread proving the OPs point for her

😆🙌🏻

My bff joined an old for 'adult partners '.
Dear God she's seen them all. Luckily she likes lots of sex but the stories are hilarious.

Nothing in my observation exonerated men from their parental obligations. No red pill required here. Folk who try to introduce an alternative view or broaden the discussion so that others may reflect - and accept or dismiss, rarely do. On the other hand … folk whose default position is either scornful, combative or dismissive tend to go through life never learning and missing opportunities. Just saying …

Excellent argument, well made.

Hmmm… men are also the common denominator. Should I have stayed with the man who punched me in the face and threw me down the stairs age twenty one? Or the one who post divorce has been diagnosed with PTSD, stress and anxiety disorder, OCD and depression but when we were together refused to seek help? Even when our couples therapist explained that he needed it? Or maybe the man who touched my teenage daughter inappropriately…

I cant stand them either OP. I gave everything to the men in my life and got fuck all back.
Husband 1 violent psychopath. He hid all signs until our wedding day.
Husband 2 serial womaniser and unfaithful every week.
Husband 3 cocklodger.
Im ever having another in my life. Not ever.

Most men have also been screwed over by women in their life, but if I went around saying I want nothing more to do with women because of X, Y, and Z, I'd be called a misogynistic bastard.

Of course, everyone should do what makes them happy and fulfilled, and (again) of course, that's not necessarily a relationship.

Why would you need to go around saying anything though?
Just make your life choices.

I direct the honourable lady to the very first post of this thread. If they had taken your advice the thread would be very quiet.

But my advice wasn’t to all the ladies on this thread.

It’ a thread about women wanting nothing to do with men and other women sharing how they feel so it’s obvious this thread will be women sharing their experiences, good or bad, it just so happens they are mostly bad.

It’s hardly a place for men to come and say ouch!

It's in AIBU. So yes, I think anyone is free to say, actually yes YABU.

You are perfectly free to have no more relationships with women for any reason you like. Having bad experiences is a perfectly fine reason not to do something again. Nothing misogynistic about it.

Hell yeah! Can spot them a mile off🤣🤣🤣👏👏

A lot of women moan about men not wanting get married nowadays though.

The last thing I would want is a fourth husband. Many women still crave one though. Not unusual at all.