AIBU Over Nephew's Wedding?

[MommaGriff]

My gorgeous nephew is getting married (twice) but I have had a falling out with my brother over it. Not sure if I ABU or he is though. Nephew announced wedding last year, getting wed this year, initially registry office with 2 witnesses, with a celebration in September with guests. My sister and I were delighted with the news and received invites for her and her husband and myself and my daughter to September wedding at a large manor house about 7 hours away. 2 day event, ceremony and shindig on the Saturday for around 160 guests, then relaxed 'hangover recovery day' on the Sunday. Accommodation at venue reserved for friends not family. So, sister and I looked at local accommodation. Cheapest was £150 plus per night per person. (£1200 total accommodation) So, we have decided to take a day unpaid from work on Friday, drive to hotel about 45 minutes away from venue for £160 total and then go to wedding, drive home through Saturday night which would mean missing final hour of the night do. The meal is a Greek gyros van and so pretty casual event. So, we sent congrats on May wedding day. Found out that it was a 60 guest event with parents/siblings, the bride's wider family and close friends. Slightly stung but no resentment because everyone should have the wedding they choose.
My sister and I told our brother of travel/accommodation plans for September and he was really angry, suggesting we can't be bothered, saying he won't have anyone to talk to, we will miss everything, we are my Nephew's only family on my brother's side who are invited etc. I feel that with the significant cost and work issues, my sister and I have really tried to do what we can to get there and honestly, if we had been SO integral to the wedding, we would have been invited to the first run. Brother is obviously steaming and dropping comments all the time about hardly seeing us, how we will miss most of the wedding. I genuinely don't think my gorgeous nephew will have a problem. He is so chilled out. But, AIBU? Should I have taken the hit financially? I work in education and so any term-time holiday just isn't possible! Daughter starts secondary school on the Monday too.

Renewal Ceremony- WTF they’ve been married what three months.

Seen you coming OP. They’re feeling guilty because they prioritised friends before family for their ‘small’ ha! wedding and people are commenting about lack of family in the wedding photos.

The photographer shouting bride and grooms family please and there’s deafening silence. Embarrassing or what? Guests privately thinking a big fall-out the reason no family there.

Id tell gorgeous son to eff off. No present either.

Come again?

@MommaGriff

What a storm in a teacup!!

OP, sounds like you did the best you could in the circumstances. They’re being ungrateful and selfish, spoiled brats.

I think their (in my opinion) excessive reaction to your slightly shaved off attendance is their guilt projecting for not having included you to the main event!

I’m afraid I’d also not have done this, I think it’s ridiculous

id hace found cheap accommodation within 2 hours away, say 50 quid a night, and stayed the sat night in closer accommodation

What i dont understand is why accomodation at the actual event was only booked for friends? I would have thought family would be the priority here? You were left out from the 1st celebration and not thought about regarding accomodation for the second event. Do what fits in with you and sod your brother! As long as you are there at the actual event that's all that matters. Tell brother, if they had reserved accomodation for you and your sister at the event in the middle of nowhere you wouldn't have this issue!

Oh I don’t know, I think it’s up to the couple, and I can see why they’d book for their friends,

lets face it, the op certainly doesn’t need to get up at 4am and get ready as she’s making out, she could easily have booked a very cheap room within 2 hours of fne location, stayed the night before, then booked to stay the night of, closer, for not much more money.

and I’d really not want to leave at 9 and drive through the night, she thinks it’s better for her daughter, it’s clearly worse as she will have lost a nights sleep and be exhausted, no one sleeps in a car well,

1st September is a Tuesday isn’t it? Is that when your secondary schools start? 31st August is a bank holiday.

it might take the rush to travel back to be ready for the Monday out of the equation?

I think it’s a terrible idea to leave at 9pm on the night of the wedding! how can you relax and enjoy yourselves knowing that you’ve got a 7 hour journey ahead whilst wearing all your wedding gear? You HAVE to stay another night, you’ll thank yourselves massively.

Also have you looked properly at local accommodation? Airbnbs etc? I don’t understand why it’s £150 per person, not per room?