AIBU to wait on steps with my injured child outside flats?

[Mammababa4]

So this morning I was meeting a friend in central London with my 4 children for breakfast then to go to a museum. My children are 7, 5, 3 and newborn.
While walking from the station to the breakfast spot my 5 year old little girl fell over, she had a bloody knee and twisted her ankle, I called my friend to ask if she could come meet us with some plasters and help me carry DD back to the station as she wasn’t going to be able to walk around a museum, my friend said sure and she would be there in 10 minutes.
DD was really struggling to put weight on her ankle so I sat her down on the steps of an apartment building. It had double doors and DD is only small so she wasn’t taking up the whole steps.

First 2 people came out, I apologised they were fine and went off to stand at the side. Then another man came out, and I told DD to bring her hand in so he didn’t step on it, but before DD got a chance he stood on her hand, she’s fine but obviously it really hurt. The man immediately swore in French (maybe thinking I don’t speak any French), then told me to move her from the steps. One of the people who had come out before came over and apologised for his swearing and told him to leave it, he was clearly angry though.
I explained to them DD is injured im waiting for a friend and we won’t be long.
A few minutes later another 3 came down clearly part of the same group I was trying to make sure all the kids stayed away from the road while comforting DD. As they open the door I said oh watch we are here. Again they told me she shouldn’t be sat there, so I explained again. None the less the man from early came back over to tell me I was being selfish and inconsiderate but the rest of his group seemed to shuffle him along. Two of them came back and asked if they could help/apologised for the man’s behaviour but said they could help me move DD around the corner where there is a small park/garden with benches. I declined as I didn’t feel comfortable with a stranger carrying DD. The man who had a very strong accent then muttered something about it being inconsiderate for me to keep blocking the door when I’d be offered helped but they walked away.

WIBU?

OP it was brilliant of you to take 4 young kids out by yourself, and it sounds so stressful. The strangers that offered to help carry your DD sound kind, I'd focus on that instead of the mean one.

I think in calm hindsight moving along to the bench would have been the best idea, though I understand how the adrenaline and hyper vigilance would be running high after an accident.

Hope your DD is feeling better OP. That sounded stressful. Next time could your friend meet you at the station? Navigating Central London on your own with 4 young children not an easy task.

Presumably it was a private apartment block, so technically you were trespassing. It wasn’t just one injured person sat on the steps, it was 3 people and maybe a baby in a pram, maybe the other kids were running about making noise etc. It was convenient for you to sit there, but it wasn’t a public bench so you had no right to be there. The reaction to it may have been over-the-top…but possibly the residents have had previous problems with trespassers, such as homeless people sleeping/urinating on the steps or gangs of vandals spray painting etc.

As for calling out to people opening the door telling them to ‘watch out’, they are supposed to be there, you aren’t…so no wonder they took offence at being told to be careful.

Assuming there was somewhere nearby to sit on a wall or a bench, your 7 year old could have pushed a pram, your 3 year old could walk beside you and you could have carried your 5 year old. If you had to keep hold of your 3 year olds hand, your 5 year could have hopped with you holding their hand to ensure they don’t lose their balance. You weren’t comfortable with the offer of a lady carrying your 5 year old, but you could have asked her to walk with you and your kids to the nearest place to sit…she could have for example walked next to your 3 year old to ensure they don’t walk into the road. You were managing to walk alone with 4 kids without this injury, so with another adult to help supervise it should have been that difficult to move a few yards to a nearby wall/bench.

Unless someone is unconscious, having a heart attack, a possible spinal injury, or something else that is going to make it dangerous to move them while awaiting an ambulance…I personally would not tolerate them deciding to rest on my front doorstep for their convenience. The residents could be blind/disabled and reliant on having a clear entry/exit.

You used to clean the exact flats op was outside of with her injured child? That she's not posted a picture or address of? Seems somewhat unlikely

Op if your daughter was completely unable to walk surely you should have called for medical attention?

I hope your little one is ok! 💔 and you were still able to have a lovely day
reading things like this always make me grateful to be northern, I can’t imagine a place around here where that would be the response to an injured child waiting for some help

He sounds very rude but if he was French I think we all know that while usually charming, when a French person is not happy they are much more forthright about showing it than most English people would be. I think this is probably just a cultural difference and the fact that his friends apologised shows it wasn’t just you that found this unreasonable.

I'm in the south and can assure you that I think most people would show more patience and care towards a hurt child and a somewhat overwhelmed Mum.

Let me explain,
DD tripped up, she twisted her ankle and scrapped her knee, it didn’t seem broken but she was struggling to put weight on it as it hurt, I knew my friend was near by so I called her to bring a plaster for the knee and help push the pram to the station and help me onto the train (the staff allowed her through the barrier to help me onto the train), we are the terminating station so my mum met me there to help me off the train. A taxi would have gotten us to the station but not helpful for getting onto the train.
If I had known there was a bench near by I would have encouraged DD to walk on it with my support, but I had no idea where the next suitable place to stop would be, she was crying.
I am not saying I handled it perfectly, my newborn is only 4 weeks old, so I was overwhelmed, I didn’t want to navigate much alone and felt planting in one spot would be less stressful over all, I was wrong. I’ve bitten off more than I could chew today, noted and I’ll plan better next time.

Yikes. I wouldn't have picked central London as a first trip out with a 4 week old never mind with 3 other small ones! Kudos for even trying

Sorry but if your child was sitting somewhere where her hand was not noticed and stepped on your child was not somewhere safe. His swearing wasn't right, but you should have moved your kids somewhere safe

I know right. Sounds like my idea of hell with kids of those ages too. Op are you from London. I am. You don’t sit outside someone’s front door. I live in London and maybe similar to that setup. Highly irritating opening the door to find people on the steps. Would you camp outside the steps of someone’s front door of their house? This is what it’s like outside someone’s apartment. The man could have been less rude though. Next time you know though.

This is what I was trying to say but more succinct. Even childminders, who are experts at this stuff, have ratios.

My four children are more spaced out than this. When my youngest was a newborn (extended newborn phase as he was a preemie) my older children were 2yo, 7yo and 10yo. And no way would I have attempted a trip like that!!

You've learned something from what happened. Have more support or try a more quiet location next time.

My first time leaving the house with a tandem buggy and two primary aged children was a rainy day walk in my local area. Near home. Short walk away. So if I couldn't cope well we just headed home. DH was back to work by this point.

‘I’ve bitten off more than I could chew today, noted and I’ll plan better next time.’

I think you have taken on board the comments made.

I would have asked if you were ok and, if I had them, offered your daughter water and a plaster, or at least a clean tissue for her cut and then suggested you sit on the bench. No need to be rude to you at all

Have you any idea what it is like living in a flat in a busy area of London. Anyone and everyone seems to think they can use your steps. Just anyone who feels they need to sit down for a rest/smoke and people in the evening who have just had too much to drink. The flat owners are not emergency workers and were probably in a hurry to get somewhere. Now if someone had a problem outside my house ( I don’t live in London) I would go and help them (and I have done) but it doesn’t happen all the time.

I grew up in SW10 in a house around one of the squares. My dad used to tell people to fuck off if he didn't like the look of them and used to ask spitters to wash the steps but I think it was more of a sport than him nedding to keep the steps clear for rushing to give heart surgery and being obstructed by a hurt child. He would probably have invited them in and had them taken home.

No, I haven't lived in London for years although my family grew up in Portobello road, Westbourne Park Road and Ladbrooke Crescent and Grove, so similar set up with the steps I imagine. I can't imagine them shouting at a stressed mum or hurt child briefly stopping to sort themselves out but it takes all sorts. I had no idea that there was such an enormous problem with loitering on steps!

Not answering the question but I'm kind of in awe that you could take 4 children of those ages into central London on your own! I'd be well out of my depth!

Being annoyed is reasonable but surely stepping on children is indefensible.

I'm 50/50 with this because I've had people give birth and get stabbed on my doorstep (not at same time) and have always offered help. Yes I'm in London. However, I have 7 myself and would have either gone to urgent care of not weight baring or given little one a plaster and a sweet and ushered her along after a minute or two.

Pro tip here from a mum of 7 (I refuse to take my youngest anywhere at the moment they're 3 year old twins and EVERYWHERE at once)
Keep a first aid kit, add a few individually wrapped sweets, extra plasters, an instant ice pack, some saline solution, steri strips, Calpol sachets and wipes. Most of the time I don't need it but it comes in handy and has saved a few strangers when we've been out.

I'm fascinated why - the first time out with FOUR kids - somebody would choose to go into central London to walk around a museum.