AIBU to wait on steps with my injured child outside flats?

[Mammababa4]

So this morning I was meeting a friend in central London with my 4 children for breakfast then to go to a museum. My children are 7, 5, 3 and newborn.
While walking from the station to the breakfast spot my 5 year old little girl fell over, she had a bloody knee and twisted her ankle, I called my friend to ask if she could come meet us with some plasters and help me carry DD back to the station as she wasn’t going to be able to walk around a museum, my friend said sure and she would be there in 10 minutes.
DD was really struggling to put weight on her ankle so I sat her down on the steps of an apartment building. It had double doors and DD is only small so she wasn’t taking up the whole steps.

First 2 people came out, I apologised they were fine and went off to stand at the side. Then another man came out, and I told DD to bring her hand in so he didn’t step on it, but before DD got a chance he stood on her hand, she’s fine but obviously it really hurt. The man immediately swore in French (maybe thinking I don’t speak any French), then told me to move her from the steps. One of the people who had come out before came over and apologised for his swearing and told him to leave it, he was clearly angry though.
I explained to them DD is injured im waiting for a friend and we won’t be long.
A few minutes later another 3 came down clearly part of the same group I was trying to make sure all the kids stayed away from the road while comforting DD. As they open the door I said oh watch we are here. Again they told me she shouldn’t be sat there, so I explained again. None the less the man from early came back over to tell me I was being selfish and inconsiderate but the rest of his group seemed to shuffle him along. Two of them came back and asked if they could help/apologised for the man’s behaviour but said they could help me move DD around the corner where there is a small park/garden with benches. I declined as I didn’t feel comfortable with a stranger carrying DD. The man who had a very strong accent then muttered something about it being inconsiderate for me to keep blocking the door when I’d be offered helped but they walked away.

WIBU?

Sitting on stairs is almost always hazardous and inconvenient. Unless the medical emergency is serious enough to need an ambulance I think it is unreasonable. I’d be quite upset if I accidentally trod on a child’s hand and I’d be angry at a parent causing that problem by sitting their child on my doorstep. I wouldn’t have sworn, I’d have covered up my annoyance and offered help - but then you didn’t accept the help offered so you were doubly unreasonable.

Not "normal" in the sense that the rest of us understand it. It's not a family area, it's characterised by extreme income inequality and children are often viewed as something of an annoyance, especially if not obviously affluent.

MN is a different planet sometimes! Your poor DD, I don't know anyone who would complain about an injured child sitting on the step like that.

OP, this is one of those threads where people just want to say you were wrong. To make some sort of point...I dunno.

A mother with 4 children, one a newborn and one bleeding and in pain - and people think you were being entitled, selfish etc for sitting her down on the outdoor steps of an apartments block. If she was causing such an obstruction then they are not very wide and suggest a fire risk to me.

I would have stopped and given you support rather than grief.

This. And the fact his friends were apologising for him indicates he was not being reasonable.

No one says something like that. It's just not how people talk.

The reason why those people behave in such an entitled way is because they are financially insecure and they see this as shameful. They bought or inherited what are now very expensive flats from a time where they were affordable, but they cannot maintain them. This makes them incredibly grumpy and often spiteful.

I used to clean these flats. Even when the clinets weren't vile, their neighbours were.

Oh OK then....

"Excuse me, I need to use the rail, can you move the child for a mo?".

It's the same point - ask them to move rather than risk falling.

Do you remember which accent Mr Rude had in Messrs. Men? That answers your question.

I can see both sides.

We have an apartment in a tourist area and the steps outside do tend to get treated like a chill out zone. Proper irritating it is at times having to wade through the hordes of chip munching visitors to get to the front door.

But…..I say nowt because one day I might be the chip munching visitor on someone else’s steps. Live and let live.

The only acceptable response to an injured child or indeed anyone on your doorstep is “can I help”, “do you need any first aid stuff”, “is it a minor injuries job, do you have a way to get there?”.

The guy was rude but he might have been feeling really defensive after stepping on your daughter’s hand. It sounds like your child was in the way and I think that was inconsiderate of you. If she was so much in the way that you were apologising to people then I don’t think you should have let her sit there. It sounds like it was a narrow entrance. If someone had vision problems or mobility problems it might have been awkward annd the fact the guy actually ended up stepping on your daughters hand shows how much of an obstruction it was.
It seemed a bit of a daft decision especially when you had a pram and buggy board.

However, I wouldn’t really have registered this if I was coming out the flats as it would be clear that you weren’t planning on staying there forever.

I wouldn't expect people trying to get in and out of their home to be delighted I had chosen their front steps to sit with an injured child. There must have been somewhere else you could go where you weren't blocking a walkway on someone else's property. The guy swearing in French or standing on her hand was horrible. But ultimately you needed to move somewhere safer.

In that situation I would have accepted the help. I don't know what more you could have done on your own. At some point it's reasonable to think someone offering to help is doing it for the right reasons and wants to help.

You don’t even know where she was, and there are lots of reasons people can be rude. He was incredibly rude but he wasn’t entitled to want to step out of his own front door. And besides there’s no reason why that would make OP feel better

well said.
She should have moved here. She should have moved to a better place around the corner which she didn't know about. She should have immediately moved because... angry man. She should have let strange man carry her DD around the corner ( as if an upset DD would allow that)

Sometimes on a busy street a doorway is the safest out of the way place to stand. And that's true in any city. Not just London. I don't find Londoners any ruder than other folk.
She especially didn't want to be by the kerb because of the other tots being too close to traffic.
She knew it wasn't an ideal place to wait, but she had to wait for her friend's assistance.

I mean we can’t assume anything about their situation.
They may have owned, they may have been staying in an air BnB, it might be that only one of them lived there and others were visiting.
I’d say they were all 25-30, and they were not speaking to each other in English, I’d guess a mix of French/Italian/Spanish.
But we can’t really know what was going on or if they lived in London or were visiting etc

That is why i said what I said in my first post. Do you remember how it started?

If you’d sat on the steps of my block of flats I would have asked if you were ok and offered Ice and plasters

Honestly what sort of world do we live in now where you wouldn’t just be kind?

i hope your dd is ok and you can replan your nice day out soon.

That's exactly what I used to do in those flats. Air bnbs. The neighbours hated that, understandably. But even the guests felt ripped off because they paid premium price for places that were kind of a dump. They just had a horrible vibe all in all.

Unfortunately there is always the change of getting a mouthful from the parent. Thankfully in my experience most people are mindful of keeping stairs clear for users.

You could and should have moved her.

Honestly, all this over a trip up and a bloody knee? Sounds like a right palava. Cancelling the trip out, having to carry a 5 year old around, not being able to move off steps to move around to find an actual seat, needing someone to meet you with plasters etc...such drama!

Well yes, i was also just thinking this.

In school if a child trips over, unless we believe they have broken a bone we would move them. Even a sprained ankle we get the child up, and then help them hop to a classroom where they can then put their foot up and have ice on it.

This sounds like the little one fell over and grazed their knee and they were in shock about it hence the reluctance to walk. Knowing the friend was on the way I would try to have moved on at least to a bench, a wet wipe or tissue for the knee and as others have suggested asking the 7 year old to help in some way - probably pushing the pram slowly along while mum held the hand of the 5 year old and 3 year old.

If I accidentally trod on someone’s hand I’d feel terrible about it and apologise.

Unfair. I only have two kids and keeping them both safe can be tricky in busy areas, especially when they wander off in different directions. And mine are prone to nosebleeds and you can't really let them walk around with blood pouring down their clothes dripping over stuff. You do have to stop and stem the bleeding.

The OP has three mobile kids, one very young, and another one to keep safe in a pram. And only two hands.

OP, I take my hat off to your ambition in even attempting this trip. You clearly have a stronger backbone than me. I wouldn't worry too much, with four kids you're inevitably going to end up annoying some people occasionally on days out, but better to block a doorway than have one of your kids going under the wheels of a passing bus. Lesser evil and all that. There will be lots of situations like this in the future that you'll just need to shrug off.