to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

[CantGetBackToSleep]

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

Enjoy your well deserved holiday @CantGetBackToSleep. You have been very good to your neighbour and she’s completely taken advantage of your kindness.

My dad died very unexpectedly a few years ago, I saw him on the Saturday and he died just a few days later. Guess what, I still managed to take care of my dog and other pets while dealing with my own grief and caring for my mum who’d lost her husband of 56 years. It’s what responsible owners do.

That would be her fault wouldn’t it? She would know the situation with the dog and be choosing to leave it there

Do you think she can afford a kennel - if so I would go with the kennel and give my own payment details.

I know any of my neighbours would be good for it - but you know her best to make the judgement .

kennel better option for the dog

You were more patient than I would have been.

She's had all week to sort it out. And for all her relative's bluster about her not being up to dealing with it, relative themself could have solved the problem by paying for the kennels over the phone. Note they didn't.

Well done. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Your neighbour is utterly inconsiderate. Her bereavement is no excuse.

Enjoy your holiday OP. Sorry for the stress you experienced trying to do the right thing.

You have behaved very responsibly OP and your neighbour has taken advantage of your kindness.

This is sadly an example of the old saying that no good deed goes unpunished!

Enjoy your holiday

Put the dog in a kennel and have her reimburse you. Text her that this is what you’ve done since you’ve been unable to reach her.

What a bloody awful predicament to be in; damned if you do etc. You've been so caught up in your neighbours drama, you haven't been able to focus on your holiday! I hope that now the dog situation is in hand, you can properly look forward to your break? Enjoy, and be damned about 'tomorrow'!

If she was able to ask her relative to take the call from you she should be equally able to ask someone to help deal with her dog now you are unable to. She must realise her dog will need to go to kennels but, I suspect her thinking is that if you organise that without her approval then you will have to pay for it. I can’t think of any other reason for basically abandoning her dog.

but neither of those things make it right to make it your problem to sort out. I reckon council dog warden or RSPCA.

Don't be ridiculous. The OP could have been prosecuted for animal cruelty if she had followed the PP's idiotic suggestion of leaving it in a house with food and water, with no way of knowing when the owner would be back. The OP was responsible (albeit grudgingly) for the dog at that moment so anything that happened to it would have been seen as her responsibility.

I'm glad the dog is now at the vet and will be looked after.

There's a function at the top of the thread to read all of the OPs updates. Why do posters not do this?

Baffling, isn't it.

The neighbour has behaved appallingly, as has her relative who passed on the message that they wouldn't be doing anything about the dog.
I hope that OP isn't so wound up by the situation that she's still seething, and that she can fully enjoy her holiday.

You did the right thing op. Enjoy your holiday

I'm genuinely sorry for someone who has just lost their mum, but in many cases, they have to get on and sort things out-like a coworker who got a call 30 minutes after the call about her mum dying from school to say her son needed to be taken to hospital. That is extreme, and I remember thinking how hard it must have been for her, but as adults, we can't just collapse, and you have to be responsible, sad as that is.
I would say ask friends/relatives to take him, but presumably if you had anyone to do that, your own dog would be going there, and I guess a dog care professional is to some extent like a child care professional, in that they need signatures/proof of vaccinations etc from the owner (obviously with kids the parent/guardian, and proof of vaccinations vary depending on country, before someone says UK CMs don't ask).
She might say you're "only" missing a holiday and her situation is more serious, but what if you had your own family emergency you needed to rush to?

Thanks for the update OP! I hope you have a lovely holiday

Well done, enjoy your holiday!

I don't blame you, i know shes had a shock, but you made it clear and she has a responsibility to the dog. Don't let this ruin your holiday x

I think you've handled it well, op. I'm glad the vets were willing to take the dog.

As you like, but I’m firm in my opinion that this is a truly awful person, given her cruelty re the poor dog and treatment of her neighbour, so I’m feeling no guilt in thinking she could also lie, and not a lot of sympathy right now even if she did not.n
Anyway. Doesn’t matter, I’m just one pissed off person, but so long as the dog is safe, and OP, the heroine of the tale, has been able to begin her hols knowing she did a really excellent job of work for the poor creature, all is well. (And naturally, if CFN’s mother has passed to her reward, may she RIP.)

Well handled, OP! You did NOT need that kind of additional stress just before leaving on vacation. You had everything else and everyone else to sort out, including delivering your own dogs to your parents.

It's hard to believe that your neighbour has been so bloody irresponsible. And seemingly nobody available to step in and pick up the slack. Unbe-fucking-lievable.

Two things can be true at the same time.

Yes that was good of the vets. About 6 months ago I took a stray dog to the vets and was told if it wasn't chipped I would have to contact the dog warden as they were unable to take it in.

Fortunately it was chipped and was returned to very grateful owners who hadn't realised it had escaped.