to be annoyed about this situation with neighbour and her dog?

[CantGetBackToSleep]

I’m lying awake because I don’t know what to do about this situation.

On Sunday our neighbour came to see us visibly upset. Her mum had been taken into hospital and she had been told to get there asap. Her mum lives in Scotland and we are in the South of England so she was panicking about getting there on time and also about who would look after her dog. We helped her book a flight as she was in a state shaking and in no state to think properly. She asked if we could have her dog for a few days. Reluctantly we agreed but said we were leaving to go on holiday on Friday evening so she would need to make other arrangements by Friday morning for him. We went and collected the dog and he has been with us since. We have our own dogs and they are all getting on well.

Our neighbour text me on Monday to say her mum had died. We had a brief text conversation and obviously I said how sorry I was to hear about her mum.

I text her on Wednesday morning to say that I know she has a lot to deal with but we really need to know what she’s doing about her dog as we are due to go away. I didn’t hear anything so I text her again yesterday to ask what she wanted us to do with the dog and got a text from another of her relatives from her phone saying our neighbour is very upset and isn’t in the right place to sort this out. I replied to say I understood but that when we agreed to have the dog, it was on the condition that she made other arrangements for the dog by Friday morning as we are due to go on holiday. I didn’t get a reply. I tried to call last night but it went to voicemail. I had already called our nearest boarding kennels who do have space so I told her on the voicemail that I could drop him at kennels but she needs to give them her payment details. I still haven’t had a reply from my neighbour.

What do we do? I’ve asked other neighbours and they won’t have him. My parents are having our dogs while we are away but are not willing to take the neighbours dog as well.

A friend has suggested I drop him at our local vets which is the vet my neighbour uses but I don’t think they would be ok with that. Another friend said if it comes to it to call the rspca, explain the situation and say he’s basically been abandoned.

I’m so stressed. I know my neighbour has lost her mum but we are not missing our holiday.

Have a wonderful holiday with a clean conscience

All lost/abandoned dogs round here are taken to the vets. They scan for a microchip and contact the owner. This is the best thing the OP could have done and she’s handled it all really well.

The owner will now have to explain to the vets why she won’t collect her dog. But my guessing is she’ll be there reasonably soon to collect. If not then yes the vets will arrange care and charge the neighbour.

You can’t just abandon a dog! The neighbour could be charged with animal cruelty and neglect so they need to be very careful

Have a great holiday OP with a clear conscience.

Good choice with the vet, and blocking crazy neighbour lady's number. She sounds so selfish. It's hard losing a loved one, I have lost a parent myself, so I get it, but you can't shrug off your commitments like that.

When you come back from holiday and she rants at you, look her in the eye and simply ask her “what should I have done?”

Because, actually there was nothing else you could reasonably have done.

Well done @CantGetBackToSleep , you have been a good neighbour to her.

I bet her grief hasn't stopped HER eating, sleeping, washing etc, so her needs were met, yet it has stopped her caring if her dog had everything he needed. What a terrible owner she is.

I can only assume her mother is fine and well, and that CFN is off on a planned jaunt with the ‘relative’ who rang, having known bloody well that she’d be away well beyond the stated period but having neglected to think about arrangements for her poor dog. (Or worse, always intending to dump him on OP and presuming OP would not depart on hols, on the dog’s account!)

I hope your the vet is able to contact your neighbour and I hope you manage to have a nice holiday. You certainly deserve one!

Whaaat?

Sorry OP.
Well done. I didn't know a vets would do that.

It's a stretch to say she's lying that her mother died. While she's not done the right thing by the dog or OP, have a bit of compassion that she's lost her mum.

OP has provided an update to say that the vet has taken the dog. The receptionist has recognised the dog so they will be contacting the owner.

Well done ☺️

So glad you made sure the dog was safe first. Many wouldn’t have done.

Have a lovely holiday OP

The vet can scan for microchip and contact owner, but if they can't collect immediately, not all vets have space to keep them.
They will then be passed on to council run or partnered kennels. The costs for release soon rack up.

I just can’t believe the audacity of some people. The neighbour will have always known Friday was a deadline.

Obviously what she’s going through is awful. Many of us have gone through it. But grief and death doesn’t just relinquish you of all your responsibilities. You can’t just give up.

I'm in agreement and surely she could've gone on train and taken her dog with her? When my mum was in the ICU I still had to be a parent every day, and do my job alongside visiting. Her behaviour was entitled and lacked consideration. I'm sorry OP

You did the right thing. If your neighbour's daughter is incapable of taking responsibility for the dog at the moment (though caring for my parents' dog would be a priority, as a way of honouring them, if nothing else), whoever she's with who texted you back should have stepped up and made some effort to sort it out. Glad to hear you found a solution that protects the dog without ruining your holiday.

ETA: Sorry, misread the OP and got some basic facts muddled, but you still did the right thing. 😳

Well done OP Totally did the right thing, hope your holiday is relaxing

Well done OP. You can enjoy your holiday knowing the dog is safe and hopefully she'll get a massive bill.

This is a horrible situation for all involved. Really she should have come and collected the dog - Scotland isn’t the North Pole. You could ask the vets for advice; I don’t think you should ‘abandon’ the dog.. she must have a friend you know of near you who you could ring and ask on her behalf??

I would have, were it not for the despicable way she abandoned her dog, never mind the way she has treated OP.
I’m not convinced that an adult woman (happily living at the other end of the country from her dear mother, be it noted), is so completely prostrated by grief that she is incapable of thinking about her dog’s wellbeing.
I think it’s disgusting, and find it pretty hard to ascribe to bereavement.

I'm with @Millytante I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if the story about the dead mother was not true.

I think this is an awful idea! What if she’s gone weeks!

No kennel would have taken him without his vaccination card, and I assume you don't have that, so kennels was never an option anyway.

@CantGetBackToSleep enjoy your holiday, shame on that dog owner x

People don't have to live near each other to feel grief. I have clearly said I think she's treated the dog and OP very poorly but it's a huge jump between that and jumping to conclusions that she lied about a death. An awful assumption.