I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

[mitsicar]

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

10 years ago, OP, I had a similar situation to you. Was getting bandied about between GP and A&E and A&E doctor spoke similarly to me. I took it to heart as I know NHS resources are strained and even now will barely go to the doctors. I’d already been to my GP (who said to go to A&E) so I just left.

I did eventually get it sorted but not until things got worse and I needed a brief spell in hospital. I have been to A&E subsequently (with a large burn) and they were good then.

I think nurses and doctors are under immense strain. I imagine A&E is being misused and medical staff are subject to abuse. Certainly when I went in with my burns it was Sat night and full of loud & aggressive people. I imagine its easier for a nurse/doctor to let off steam at someone who is not going to respond aggressively rather than some of the other people they see where things could escalate. Doesnt make it right though - but i understand it.

So i dont think you did anything wrong. And i think you (who i imagine are a net contributor to NHS resources) got the brunt of an outburst meant for those who do overuse. But you were a safer target. I don’t know if that helps.

Sorry, OP. Sounds absolutely awful. I hope they get it out quickly in A&E and there's no permanent damage.

It sounds like the 'gatekeeper' overstepped without having any idea about what kind of damage an object in an ear can do and you should have stayed last night. I would complain to the hospital when this is all done.

As a doctor, I agree with you.

Good luck op - hope you get it sorted.

Good luck OP. Eyes and ears are delicate organs that need careful attention.

Ignore the embarrassing fools on here who think they are experts with their tiny bit of knowledge.

And if you have the energy, please complain. I don’t tolerate rudeness to patients from my colleagues, so some staff need it pointing out.

And I bet not a single one of those posters said

"I was wrong. I am sorry."

Actually (and completely off thread I acknowledge) i ended up watching most of one of the England WC matches in an and e waiting with my daughter, was a weirdly convivial upbeat community atmosphere!

You shpuld absolutely complain when all is over.

Not simply to have a whinge. But to ensure that first staff member you encountered gets more training.

How can PEOPLE try when GPs or trusts are not doing it then? I expressly told you that when I had this “appointment” in A&E I still had to join the general queue and triage

I wish I had of seen this last night, as I would of told you to sit tight as it is in need of urgent medical assistance, my son died the same thing but he was 4 and just decided he wanted an earring so he found a butterfly (earring back) and shoved it into his ear canal, trip to the GP, then a trip to minor treatment then transfer to a&e for a specialist ENT and inn the end he went to theatre to get it removed mainly due to his age and where the butterfly has rested, he was home the next day, a month later we saw the same ENT after he got some paper lodged up his nose. He is now 36 and had stopped putting things where they don't belong.

Risk of reduced hearing is an emergency. The GP has told her to do exactly what she did - go to A&E - so the upshot of your advice is that she has wasted a day when time is of the essence.

Forgot to add I hope they quickly sort you out and you may need some antibiotics as sounds like it's all infected, if you are up to it please return and let us know how you are as some strangers do care xx

Ah I bet that made the wait go much easier

I completely agree but I have seen posters wanting to go to A&E for something that can easily be checked out in minor injuries.

Why wait in A&E for 9+ hours when you can go and be seen much quicker in minor injuries.

Of course not everyone has access to minor injuries, especially after a certain time but many people don’t seem to know much about it and think it’s either gp or minor injuries.

She went to minor injuries!

I know! We’ve had to go a lot for my dc. I hate it with a passion and it brings back so much trauma. I’d do anything rather than go to A&E but if you have to go you have to go.

I agree.

It's all well and good not reading the OP properly and flinging out wild guesses based on "what you reckon", hearsay and massive projection based only on your own specific experiences when it's about what to do on a hen party or whose MIL is awful, but to do it in the guise of medical advice is actually harmful.

Everyone should treat others as they wish to be treated. Would the person who spoke to you like to have been spoken too like that?
Ask them next time.life is actually easier when people are nice to each other.

My grandson had to go when he was little as he'd somehow got a bit of lego stuck in his ear.... GP wouldn't touch it, nor the local MIU and DD was given short shrift by both for not taking him to A & E .

You can't win, OP. The reality is that we're now living with a buckled NHS that it barely functioning on the surface. God help us all.

You didn't do anything, wrong OP.

There's no excuse for being rude - and she was rude; 'you need to see your GP about this' was all that was required. I wouldn't speak to a member of the general public like that at work.

My GP practice actually wouldn't do anything about this other than refer on, so I understand why you started with 111 and Minor Injuries.

OP when you get to see a medic, be sure to tell them you attended last night when a very rude and dismissive triage nurse made you feel as though you were wasting everyone’s time and that you felt so belittled that you left without treatment. OK so it was your decision to leave but had you not been made to feel like that you would have stayed and been treated. As things are it’s worse this morning and may necessitate different treatment. The nurse’s workload is not your concern and you shouldn’t have been made to feel like a nuisance because you needed help.

all these people on mumsnet with their 'rules' about when you can and cannot go to A&E....as if you'd do the same if it were you or your children!

OP was in minor injuries. She said in her OP that A&E referred her there - which was why the triage nurse was grumpy.

Good luck OP, I hope they get it sorted quickly! I would say the person you spoke to last night was wrong, I would have been angry if that was me!

No, as usual, they quietly backed away from further comment after OP updated.