I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

[mitsicar]

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

OP’s GP have told her to go straight to A&E, without checking her first

I’m staggered that wasting GP time is repeatedly suggested. This is why many of us can’t get GP appointments and the whole online system shuts down by 9.30!

Out of interest, @SuePerdo you have any medical qualifications or clinical experience?

Or just your own personal experience?

One is entirely different from the other.

In what world can you simply ring the GP and seek advice ? There’s a two week wait for face to face appointments here and if l were to ring my surgery with something like this during the usual 8pm race for a phone appointment, I can guarantee you the receptionist would tell me to go to A&E.

The simple fact is that a foreign body in the ear is appropriate to A&E/minor injuries and had OP known it was there from the start and the cause of the pain, that’s where she would have gone immediately on discovering the object. The fact that she didn’t know it was there for so long is irrelevant. Se knows now, and that doesn’t make it any the less appropriate to A&E to resolve.

Did you tell them that the receptionist at A&E told you that you shouldn't be there? What did they say to that?

It annoys me that staff in the NHS get away with doing and saying things that need to be highlighted back to them as wrong. But it's because no one talks about anything... we just accept being spoken to like shit and told we are wasting time (with stage 4 kidney failure in PP's case)...

There seems to be no consequences for poor performance in role in the NHS.

If I fuck up in work, or even just make the wrong call, I have to own it, apologise to those involved and put it right.

Amazing that certain posters, after OP informs us that her GP told her to go straight to A&E, still think that going to the GP first is the right thing to do - that's just wasting their own time, and the GP's/receptionist's time, while making it harder for people who do need to see the GP to get through.

Right?! OP have you tried phoning the GP again and saying "but mumsnet posters have told me this must go through you..." 😂

It’s all gone suspiciously quiet from those that were so vociferous just a short while ago….

It shouldn’t be like this, I am an ex nurse though it was forever and a day ago. I do think in life people respond to how they perceive you. MN is very anti judgement but people do it day in and day out. They are often unaware they are doing it. I think if you have the words and force of will, a sort of firmness but not rude in the least in all manner of situations including the NHS you get better service.

A receptionist, like 111 has told the op to go to A&E. If that is the provision in their area no amount of that is inappropriate will change that.

Going forward if I had a non urgent issue I'd ring ENT opd and ask what time their walk in/emergency sessions were and go there. If for some reason there wasn't any availability I'd attend minor injuries and go during normal working hours not an evening when services tend to be more stretched dealing with serious problems.

This is not your fault. It’s the whole fucking system. Go to A&E they can refer you directly to ENT (this is how it works in our A&E. This isn’t ideal and what wasn’t an A&E problem initially now is as you are symptomatic.

fuck that nurse. I say that as a nurse.

Girl go to A&E you should never of left, you were doing the right things, everyone likes to tell us we’re wrong and they know better and they do not! stick to your guns xx

As you've discovered, AIBU is the worst place to post when you are in this kind of situation. It's full of people who have difficulty with reading comprehension and just hover over the board waiting to tell OPs they are wrong. Just listen to 111 and your GP, and keep away from the kind of people who are least equipped to help.

If they had helped me last night (yes, I know, I was the one who left) I would not have woken up with blood pooling in my ear and severe pain with significantly reduced hearing. There was no blood yesterday. I should have stayed. My friend is taking me to a&e now. Stepping away as I am just getting more and more stressed. Thanks all.

Ignore them. And ignore rude a&e staff.

Separately, I find carrying a notebook and meticlously writing down the names, (and making a point of getting correct spellings) when you speak to people and noting down what is being said and advised, at what time etc changes the experience you have.

(but if you feel you have a dr or nurse on your side; then DONT do this with them...)

Good luck with ear OP at A&E when you go back today. I think it best to get treatment first and then decide whether to complain. I do think nurse was really out of order to you though. I stayed with my child in hospital for a couple of weeks last year, and would say 50% of the nurses were lovely, and 50% rude and deliberately awkward. Didn’t complain but did praise the helpful ones by name to the ward matron, and say some others not so great. She said she knew who I meant which surprised me as surely that behaviour if known should be dealt with!

There was a thread a few weeks ago where a mum asked if she should take her son to A&E as he was very unwell and she was worried he had signs of type 1 diabetes. She was met with an avalanche of posters saying it wasn’t appropriate to A&E and to get a GP appointment for a finger prick test.

Some of the advice was dangerously ignorant and from posters who clearly didn’t know the first thing about diabetes but felt qualified to post anyway. The OP took the usual bashing for daring to think that she should bypass her GP and use her own common sense.

Thankfully she went to A&E on the advice of a doctor posting on the thread and later updated to say her son had been admitted as an emergency and treated via an insulin drip for new onset diabetic ketoacidosis. She was told that had she waited any longer she likely would have lost him.

The moral of the story is that MN isn’t the place to debate what constitutes an accident or an emergency, so it’s best to use your own initiative if you perceive your own situation to be urgent.

I had the same response when I had a potential blood clot in my leg.

I had booked a gp appointment but it had got worse, so I phoned 111 and they told me to go immediately to A&E and even offered an ambulance.

You would have thought I’d gone in for a paper cut the way I was spoken to by multiple staff.
I actually heard them bitching to each other about why I was there.

I look young and was in a hoodie and joggers so perhaps prejudged me but then I had to fill out forms and say what my profession was and they completely changed after that, couldn’t do enough for me and was taking my leg really seriously.

I think being asked why you’ve come in now is something that they’re required to ask (and how painful on a scale from 1-10) as it seemed they all asked that question.

Well that’s just great for you, in your town, in your area, with your local NHS services.

Whatever you think of 111 staff, this is the system, in many places.

The OP did exactly what many GP’s advise out of hours - rang 111, who directed her to what was, in the end, the right place.

I really wish people like you would pipe down when it comes to dishing out what is often poor advice and a great deal of personal judgement, drawn entirely from your own limited personal experience.

OP, I hope you get the treatment you need today. You are entirely justified to be hacked off with the way you were treated. It was entirely inappropriate. And I don’t give a shit how busy that nurse was, her behaviour was out of line. I say that as a nurse with many years experience myself.

Always stick to your guns and say you’ve been told to come here.

That way they’re accountable to someone else.

If they refuse treatment ask for their name and ask for a second opinion.

You are getting a lot of rubbish replies on here OP. Minor injuries was the correct place for you and the nurse should have been professional. She should have looked in your ear and consulted a Dr. You could damage your ear drum and are at the risk of infection (I'm deaf in one ear so I'm all about protecting your hearing at a all costs, hearing loss and tinnitus is no joke). I hope you get it sorted.

I think there should be more restrictions on here about posting for medical advice. I've seen too many threads like this, and they seem to attract the particuarly illiterate posters who can't read the OP's post and / or think that A&E is just for people who have a limb hanging off.

I'm sorry the receptionist was rude,no one should be spoken to rudely in a hospital setting when they are coming for help.
Sounds like minor injuries was the correct place for you to seek help.
I think the way you told the history of your concerns may have rubbed the receptionist up the wrong way (not that that excuses her rudeness) and may have led to a misunderstanding. Saying its been there a long time and that a medical "friend" has examined you and determined the problem never bodes well.Your other commitments regarding your sons hospital appt were irrelevant.
Simply saying you have a foreign body ?an earring back in your ear you dont know how long it has been there exactly, but there has been an acute exacerbation of pain and 111 recommended you visit A&E.
I dont think it was wise to leave because of her rudeness.
I hope you get it asap.
If you feel strongly about the attitude of the receptionship complain through PALS.

You still don't get it do you not everyone has a walk in ent department. That is in your area not all areas are the same