AIBU to seek help after taking items from school lost property?

[Sevs88]

This is really hard to say, but I need some reassurance because I’m not sure what to do anymore. I have always really struggled with impulse control and suspect I’m undiagnosed with something on top of my OCD. But recently Ive found myself stealing clothes from DDs schools lost property which is bad enough. But to add to my torment, I’m selling them on Vinted. We don’t need the money as DH owns a successful business, but I just can’t help myself each time the box is outside reception and I’m in the vicinity. I just get such a buzz from knowing I’m helping to recycle but feel guilty for stealing. Is it really unreasonable- like if the parents wanted those things back surely they would just claim them not leave them there, also it’s not my fault f I can’t help myself? I wish I could but I can’t! Please be kind it feels like a weights lifted already.

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It sounds like there’s a lot of thought and decision making going into this, meaning it’s far beyond “impulse”. You’re making a choice to take the items and sell them. There are quite some steps in between. If it makes you feel bad then you should stop.

I think you should see your GP, as there must be an underlying reason for this impulsive behaviour.

it really unreasonable- like if the parents wanted those things back surely they would just claim them not leave them there,

Yes, it’s unreasonable. It’s ‘lost property’ not ‘help yourself’. You’re not giving people a chance to reclaim their property, so it’s stealing.

also it’s not my fault f I can’t help myself?

You are self-aware enough to know it’s stealing, so it is your fault. But it’s also within your power to get help before this behaviou escalates into something that could hurt you and your kids, like stealing from shops.

You're not recycling, you are stealing and profiting from that. Left over lost property is usually used as spares for children in school or given to families in need, or sold at a second hand school shop or stall to raise money for the school. Do not justify your behaviour as a good deed. Consider CBT to address your cognitive deficits

You’re stealing and making a profit from your thefts. You ARE at fault and you need to stop before people notice what you’re doing.

Do you have diagnosed OCD as in to DSM diagnostic guidelines?

You know what you’re doing is wrong, It causes you anxiety and you feel guilty. Stealing it, listing, selling, posting, that’s quite a process with lots of ‘stopping points’ along the way. Just stop?

There are several steps in the process; start thinking about what they are and how you can intervene to redirect your behaviour.

When you catch yourself thinking 'I'm recycling and that's good', tell yourself 'STOP' and remind yourself you are stealing, which is not good.
Take the items out of the box then put them straight back.
Return the items you've taken but haven't sold.

Ask your GP about cognitive behaviour therapy. You really need to do something to help yourself before you are caught.

The first step is to be honest with yourself. You're not selling stuff on vinted by impulse.

This isn’t an impulse though is it? You’ve thought it through and done it more than once.

It’s stealing, maybe think of the terrible example you’re setting your kids and stop doing it.

Also make a large donation to the school.

You’re stealing. Stop making excuses. Go and speak to the GP if you really can’t help it.

A parent might be struggling. They paid for uniform, their kid left it somewhere as kids do. You then thieve it before they can get it back and make money you don't need.

How can parents claim them back if you are helping yourself to them first? It is stealing and you can absolutely help yourself.

Think about how embarrassed your children will be when you are caught.

If going to the GP feels too heard you could start by ringing a MH helpline or using their online Chat facility.
is it a compulsion like you OCD compulsions?

This is bordering on kleptomania. You are justifying it fo yourself as 'necessary recycling' but it isn't recycling or your job to deal with these items.

There is a psychological cycle to kleptomania, similar to OCD. You need to seek professional support.

You are a thief. These items are usually donated to the needy at the end of the year.
No excuses. You are untrustworthy and a devious thief. Hope that helps you correct your mistakes.

You're robbing little children's clothes and selling them, please say you're donating the money 😯

All criminals act impulsively. It is not an excuse.

Step 1 donate any profits made to Save the Children.

Step 2 stop stealing. Next time you feel the impulse to take something, resist it.

Step 3 if you can't resist it, tell the school reception you are physically unable to steal their lost property items and ask them to move the box or ban you from reception.

It would only be impulse if you took them but you are consciously selling them on vinted, where does that money go. I'd tell the school so they can keep the spares box locked away,

Impulse is taking them. Putting them on vinted isn't impulsive. Go to your GP. There's a lot sitting behind raiding the list property box and selling other people's school uniform.

But you are not getting the buzz from helping to recycle, you're getting the buzz from stealing someone's bellonging and making money off it. Sounds like you are a kleptomania, but selling these items on is something else, seek help and tell the school so they can kept kids' belonging safe from your sticky hands.

“To add to my torment” fuck off 😂😂

OP has Kleptomania-
not bordering -
she’s actually living it
and using self reassurance : the parents would have claimed their stuff if they wanted it, right ?
to maintain the problem -
the impulse - the steal - the buzz - the guilt - the self reassurance -
repeat
it’s all there
OP’s post is a reassurance seeking post
it’s OK, it’s not that bad, ???

OP - seek therapy for your disorder
or face the consequences when you are inevitably caught out

No, she is "recycling" it 🙄... amazing how we can fool ourselves

Stop it, you know it's wrong so stop it. When my kids where in primary I often had to go to lost property if my kids left a coat/ jumper on the school field. You are denying a child their clothes, many people struggle to pay for clothes and costs to begin they carnt afford to replace them. You need to inform the school and replace all the items you stole.