How do people not know they smell?

[sioermt]

I’m not talking “it’s hot, I’ve been sweating and headed home for a shower” or I’m disabled and can’t shower so have a sink wash or even showering every day

went to the supermarket today and was hit with a wall of body odour from someone in front of me to the point in caught in my throat. Every aisle they went down stunk of it, people were moving away and looking who the smell was from. It was acrid beyond belief. it was a couple who were driving and seemed perfectly normal apart from this smell as if they hadn’t showered in months

Isn’t is similar to not being able to smell your own perfume and thinking you haven’t sprayed enough on, yet other people can smell it clearly? You must just get used to smell that is close to you and become nose blind to it.

Like you can walk into the house of someone who is potty-training their toddler and know immediately, but they genuinely can't smell it!

It's a truly terrifying thought, though, that it might be us who smell and nobody has told us! I've instructed my DDs to let me know if I start to smell 'old lady' so I can do something about it.

I try to be tolerant. A bit of B.O can happen to any of us if we've changed deodorant brands or missed a bit when applying after a shower. However I really can't tolerate people that smell of ass literally. To me the musty smell of poo is not acceptable. It doesn't take much to wash your privates and change your underwear each day. Granted some people do have bowel incontinence but this isn't an immediate smell but more of a can't be arsed to wash and old festering smell.

Showering at least once a day, if not twice during this weather, is the bare minimum. In the winter I can shower in the evenings and cope through the day but in the summer it’s morning and evening for me.

There is no excuse. You should not stink of BO to the point you can’t recognise that you stink!

Wow there’s some ignorant fuckers on here !

But then some of the extra things you would be doing anyway. Most people shower when they’re changing from nightwear to daywear or vice versa.

I had a shoulder injury earlier this year. It made dressing/undressed difficult, and washing my hair was also challenging. I'm mostly recovered, but it made me very aware that something you can often do quickly, like undress, shower - might not be at all easy for others, and certainly not possible in 2 minutes.

My mum’s side of the family are like this.
One uncle (+ wife and kids), kind of a hippy way of life, would wear the same tshirt several days in a row, I think they felt that perspiration is natural, and you can skip a shower or too if you don’t smell too bad.
Other uncle… both him and his wife often stank, but wear nice clothes, groomed, etc. My mum asked him about it one day… he said they were turned on by eachother’s smell 🤢

No money issues for either, frugal (protestant) upbringing but far from poor. My mum ensures me that they were taught to wash properly.

I have always wondered, if you shower and use an effective antiperspirant/deodorant, why would your T-shirt armpits smell of sweat? Mine don’t seem to. I don’t wear the same T-shirt more than two days though.

It can be because no one has ever showed or modelled being clean.

You might find the subreddit r/hygiene interesting OP. A lot of people post on there for whom hygiene habits were never installed/modelled. Children learn by example!

Following on from my above post, the same man I mention, we once went into town together and were having a look around a charity furniture shop. When we came out, I said to him 'someone really smelt of wee in there didn't they?' I had assumed it was an elderly person who couldn't help it or such.

His reply?

'Oh yeh, I thought if I put my long coat on over my jeans nobody would notice!'

So he knew fully that he smelt of pee (for reasons I'd rather not think about) but instead of washing he chose to wear a long (almost floor-length) coat! Thinking that would mask the smell that was seeping out through his jeans.

Madness. Not that I ever pee myself but I know it can happen and if I did, my first priority would be making sure I no longer smelt of it, not covering the smell up!

I used to work in care, and it's an acrid unwashed body smell.... almost a bit corpse like. I blame a lot of shower gels because they don't remove the bacteria causing the smell, they just mask it. Bars of soap are the answer to most cases. DH has got very smelly hair/scalp oils and he stinks if he hasn't washed his hair daily (ie when he's been unwell). Every so often I have to give his hair a really good wash with some hibiscrub in his shampoo to keep on top of it.

What a vile Reddit. People with no shame and no basic decency.

I don't use deodorant but I shower in the morning and in the evening and I don't smell!

Your colleague smelt because of poor hygiene and failure to use good old soap and water not being he did not use a specific product.

?

You might be happy to live around people who stink, most of us are not.

Promoting good hygiene is not 'judging people'.

If you can get up, get dressed, leave your house, get to a shop, do your shopping and then make your way home, you can have a stand up wash at the very least!

Or - more likely - they're mingers.

When my DH was in hospital a few years ago, he shared a room with a mid 20s lad who absolutely reeked. As did his girlfriend. Watched various doctors and nurses interacting with him, no-one uttered a peep. On the morning of the second day my DH handed him a bottle of shower gel and basically ordered him to have a shower.

My mother has a personality disorder

She has always ponged but nobody wanted to tell her as she'd kick off and make that person's life a misery (some of the stunts I've seen her do have to be seen to be believed)

I did tell her once and she snapped back that 'I'm allergic to all soaps,shampoos and shower gels'

Shed have a shower but not use any products,just a splash of water

She then started re-using her san-pro by washing,drying and re-using them (leaving them on the radiator for all to see)

Then she decided that washing powder was unnecessary (she refuses to use fabric conditioner) and anything above 20 degrees was 'unnecessary'

After all this,she started re-using her bladder pads (nothing wrong with her bladder-it was just on her list of made up medical issues)

As I went nc,I'm told she started pissing herself while sat in her armchair (only that chair) and she's been through at least 7 in the last 15 years-the whole house started reeking of piss (she also started doing the same in her bed with a waterproof sheet)

She knows full well she stinks,she loves it as it makes people step back and wrinkle their noses and she can turn on the tears and get sympathy for her non issues

My darling mil has genuine bladder issues and I've never once smelt wee on her as she showers/washes daily and changes her pads every few hours (she wraps them up and bins them outside)

Some people just don't care-personally I'm so paranoid I go overboard with showers,deodorant and perfume (I wash everything at 60 and dry it to the point it's almost on fire)

I grew up in the 1970’s working class and in some ways deprived (though loved and not as badly off as some) and I think lots of people just never learn to take care of themselves. It isn’t innate, although I can see how those who had stable, middle class childhoods can think it is.

There is obviously a lot I could write but as an example, when I entered puberty I was bullied at school because I smelled and when I told my mother she just said ‘well put some mum on then’ and I didn’t know what she meant and she wouldn’t talk about it further. I had to go and trawl round Boots with my Saturday job money to try and sort myself out.

Our bathroom was never fit for purpose and we washed at the kitchen sink on the rare occasions that happened. My parents were born in the 1920’s, had had shocking early lives and even this was a step up for them.

I learned only after leaving home to go to university that daily washing, deodorant and twice daily teeth brushing are normal. I was never taken to the dentist as a child and as a result had to have extensive restorative treatment in my twenties and to this day have a severe phobia about teeth. Even writing that has sent my heart racing.

I can well see how, if someone grew up in similar circumstances they would continue to spiral downwards if they were unable to improve their financial and social lot in life and are now living without running water/in a hoarding situation, both of which I know are common in my current local area.

They might be suffering from bromhidrosis,
Or simply that they have no sense of smell and are wearing previously worn unwashed clothing repeatedly, while sweating profusely in the recent hot weather. Hopefully family members will tell them

Thanks for sharing your experience. I think that's what I was trying to say, that there is a reason for something like this, like the neglect you experienced.

I'm sorry that it still affects you

I am not a member but whenever posts for it pop up on my feed, I find that people are quite empathic and helpful on it. I am not sure if you've seen anything awful!

There is a worker in the local Sainsbury’s with really bad BO. I think there is an inclusion policy, which is great, and they also have some kind of LD or other disability as do several other long term staff. I’ve got used to them and know who to avoid going too close to.

well no, not always. there are myriad reasons why that’s not as simple as it sounds, not least that it’s possible she can’t hold urine. and whatever the reason making a massive deal of it and calling a customer names is just disgusting behaviour.

It absolutely does, and if you've never been in that position you're lucky and if you've never known anyone who has, then just possibly they wouldn't choose to confide in you. I can understand that, given how insensitive some of your comments are.