How do people not know they smell?

[sioermt]

I’m not talking “it’s hot, I’ve been sweating and headed home for a shower” or I’m disabled and can’t shower so have a sink wash or even showering every day

went to the supermarket today and was hit with a wall of body odour from someone in front of me to the point in caught in my throat. Every aisle they went down stunk of it, people were moving away and looking who the smell was from. It was acrid beyond belief. it was a couple who were driving and seemed perfectly normal apart from this smell as if they hadn’t showered in months

sioermt

but that doesn’t explain how you know eg they weren’t working in the heat with silage or cleaning out a pipe together if you know what I mean? I used to horse ride and work in the stables and afterwards I smelt like a rubbish dump!!!!!

Pennies. Literal pennies. You can get toothpaste for 45p from Asda, it will last two months.

But I can't remember seeing ads on the telly in the same way they are for women, so it's not normalised in the same way.

People can do what they want! That’s the thinking that means as well as stinking up public transport, the inconsiderate can play their music loud and take up extra seats. What has happened to consideration for each other? That is alien thinking to those of us who aren’t totally selfish.

I used to see a man that was absolutely filthy, and covered in urine stains down the front of his trousers from soiling himself and letting it dry. Needless to say, he reeked. He used to go and sit in a small independent cafe, and I’m sure it really affected their business.
One day, he was crossing the road and his Zimmer frame started to fall apart. I had to help him across the road, and then he asked me to go back to his front garden because a screw had fallen out of the frame and he wanted me to put it back in.
Anyway, I got chatting to him and he told me he had had a stroke, and it was awful because people just shunned him now he had had a stroke. Apparently a nearby church were kind to him but nobody else would speak to him. He appeared to have no insight into the fact that he was visibly filthy and absolutely stank and talked at length about people shunning stroke victims. He had been a secondary school teacher in his time, so he can’t always have been like that.
I was really surprised he was able to have a normal conversation because looking at him, I wouldn’t have thought he up to it.

I worked with girls who proudly told me they don't wear deodorant. They generally did not smell - but when it was hot weather, stressful work situation or late nights it was a bit overwhelming. However, this is just normal sweat - not stale unwashed bo plus God knows what else.

I don't think people's bodily smell is in the same category as playing their music on a speaker. It's very straightforward not to do that. Basic human kindness means assuming there is a reason people don't or can't attend to the way they smell which is complex and - crucially - none of your business.

When I worked in retail I had a couple of customers who smelled. One was a man who was probably in his seventies who smelled so strongly of urine that I had to take a step back to serve him. He was lovely, perfectly pleasant but he smelled as though he used incontinence wear but dried it out and reused it. People would recoil from him in the queue. I could never believe that nobody had had a quiet word, but if he was single or widowed, who would?

The others were men who lived alone with lots of animals, didn't dry their clothes properly and as a result smelled of dog and musty clothes. Oddly enough, the elderly women I served mostly smelled of perfumed incontinence wear or lots and lots of body spray. They seemed to care more about not being perceived as being 'smelly' whereas the men weren't as bothered.

Had a colleague once at work, really nice man, , absolutely no question of any disability or mental health issues but he stunk, to the point where other colleagues told him directly,his response was , my partner likes the way I smell and that was it, another female colleague also used to say nothing turned her on more than her partner coming home smelling sweaty, maybe pheromones play a part for some. Personally I’d agree with OP,there’s not much worse than the overpowering smell of BO

It's the other way round for some people depending on how you were brought up, among other things.

It's not a decision not to bathe and a decision to hurt their own well being. Not bathing is their base position for some people, the decision has to be made to bathe and they don't make it.

There are also a lot of climate activists wandering around not realising that although they had a sponge down with some damp moss this morning, their clothes build up bacteria from repeated washing at 30c, or not washing at all, and stink.

haha this!

There was a thread a few months ago where people were saying they were "literally gagging" when they can smell fabric softener on people's clothes and how selfish it is blah blah blah

Yet apparently, smelling of butt crack, BO, and old poo smears is worthy of empathy and we shouldnt say it makes us heave because thats rude.

😆

Some people know and don't care.

Others can't smell themselves 100%.

I lived with someone like that. Eventually I started telling him when he stunk and he'd become very offended! But still didn't really do anything about it. He might stomp off and have a shower after being told, but then would go another week without washing.

I had an ex girlfriend (I'm gay) whom again, I had to tell that I didnt want to share a bed with her because she smells. VERY annoyed with me for daring to say this! She had gone about 4 days without showering, most people would smell but for some reason it hadn't crossed her mind. She only worked weekends at the time and said she had every intention of showering the following day before she went to work, which I found quite offensive toward me, people at her workplace didn't deserve to breathe in her stench but I did?

Some people simply can't smell themselves as they grow accustomed to the smell, not just themselves, but their partner/family too!

It's like going into someone else's house - there's almost always "A Smell" - sometimes good, sometimes bad, whether pet related, too much perfume/air freshener, rotting food, urine, etc. The people living there almost certainly won't smell it.

I’ve had horses for years. It wasn’t a smell of standard body odour after a hard day working or exercising
if your body odour after that is so bad it would be ingrained in your car, your home, your sofa, and your clothes and people are recoiling from you an aisle away then you need to see the GP!

It doesn’t bother my friend, her sense of smell is almost non existent, mine is almost off the scale the other way. I have felt physically ill being in an enclosed space with someone who reeks. I do understand in a minority of cases there are medical reasons, another friend has an issue with constant sweating since the menopause. She compensates by washing more than is normally needed.

Few homeless people (they have a genuine reason for being unwashed) use the public transport I’m on, so in terms of % there may be an occasional person with mental health issues, with a condition that impacts on their cleanliness, but there are also some who are just mucky. And that is selfish.

Some people are so lazy and can’t be bothered, maybe they weren’t washed often as a child and don’t prioritise clean body and clothes. Most likely it’s a depression or addiction taking over their lives.

DH worked with a young man who never washed his uniform, it clearly sat all weekend rotting in sweat before he put it back on, it was said to him multiple times before the cycle started again.
I don’t know how his wife put up with him.

There are some scummy HMO landlords who don't allow tenants access to kitchens and bathrooms! It's either and eviction tactic, ploy to keep energy costs down or the house is illegally overcrowded. I've seen people asking for rooms with 'must be available with full use of kitchen and bathroom'. I believe even slum l/l Rachman allowed bathroom access or a sink in the room??

I also think (as per my post above) that there are quite a few people who suffer incontinence and don't realise that incontinence wear either has to be washed or discarded. They think that if it is dry it is fine to reuse. And I don't think you can tell if you smell of wee, particularly if it has gone on for a long time. I know one elderly couple where the house is festooned with her incontinence pads drying out on radiators (these are meant to be disposable). People think they've found a 'life hack' to save them money and they genuinely don't know that the smell is making people's eyes water.

The shower itself can easily be done in two minutes, unless you are doing extras like washing hair or shaving. I guess for many people its the before and after activities like /un/dressing, drying that make it too much effort for the energy level they have.

In Asda yesterday there was a man drinking to high heavens walking around. Then at the self service till, I had to have someone authorise paracetamol and a lovely young ish man came over, all smiles and oh my god, cumin pits! Absolutely rank.
Seems to be more of a man issue I find

I think it's quite possible for someone to be unaware that they smell. For example, when I get sweaty, at first I'm aware of it and can smell it on my body and clothes, but once that sweat has dried I can't always smell it anymore. So if I was to sniff a dirty top in the laundry basket, it wouldn't always smell bad to me.

So I don't think the 'sniff test' (that some speak of) works for everyone.

I've worked in residential settings with teenagers and some of them think that if you leave a pile of dirty clothes, the smell kind of evaporates. So in my opinion it's better for young people like that to just stick to good habits, eg use deodorant, shower every day if possible, put underwear and most tops* in the laundry after one wearing. (maybe not jumpers)

When I was a teenager and then again in my early twenties there was a period of time when the sweat in my underarms really stank and was very strong. I have always washed twice a day and worn clean clothes and antiperspirant so it felt totally out of control it was awful. I’m guessing it was something hormonal. I used to go home on my lunch breaks to wash and then change my school shirt.

the only thing that worked was using a very strong antiperspirant that literally smelt like alcohol hand sanitiser. It burned my skin until it cracked and bled but it did stop the smell.

So maybe people are aware that they smell but can’t seem to get it under control for some reason or another.

Because it is their smell. Like people who have animals stop smelling their own animal in their homes and on their furniture. Weed smokers don't seem to realise they are literally sweating a disgusting weed-sweat smell. Smokers and vapers who are insistent that they do not smell.

I lost my sense of smell when I was 48. I’m always stressing that I smell or the house smells or the dog smells. I hope we don’t. But if we do I don’t know.

I get exactly what you are saying OP.

On holiday recently I commented to DH that the street we were walking down smelt of stale wee only realise when we caught up that it was actually a lady walking in front of us