To find this view re autism frustrating

[Pleasenomorespiders]

Somebody today tried to argue that autism is simply a 'gift' because people like Einstein supposedly had it, I suppose they're talking about people on the spectrum being more gifted and talented in some areas.
This person must surely realise it's a spectrum and has failed to mention how debilitating autism can be, how much people with it can struggle in every aspect of life and may never be able to have a 'normal' life.

Calling it a 'gift' is nice, they're only thinking about high-functioning individuals who as I say have heightened awareness and notice patterns, artistically or mathematically gifted, or whatever it may be. Autism is simply not 'just seeing the world differently'. Many individuals will never have a job or a relationship.

Totally agree.

Plus having clinically significant impairments is literally part of the diagnostic criteria.

The somebody is only one person you know @Pleasenomorespiders

Many people think many disabilities and conditions are just a case of mind over matter

You can either just nod at them and say that’s one opinion I guess or keep banging your head against a brick wall trying to debate their opinion.

I can take two completely unrelated things and tell you how they are connected. I think around problems, seeing the details and the system simultaneously. It’s a curse sometimes.

But the best example is when a blue chip company told me they couldn’t invest in the UK for reasons and I went to the government and said you could do this completely unrelated thing which would be to their benefit and yours and in return tell them to invest in the UK.

That is what happened and the unrelated thing has turned into a multi million pound company. Sadly I did not personally benefit.

Someone who is ‘a bit awkward and likes making lists’ wouldn’t be diagnosed with ASD based on those traits alone. You must know that. Such an ignorant, reductive comment.

I disagree. I too would not want to be neurotypical, and yes, it does look miserable to me. Dull, conformist, status obsessed, shallow interests, miss a lot of the tiny interesting things that make life a joy- I could go on....

This group may have mental health needs but because of the way they present the mental health services aren't a suitable service. Talking therapy isn't going to work on somebody who struggles to communicate etc

Are you sure that’s the way it works?

I’m in Ireland not the UK so it may be different, but where I am adult mental health services do treat those with intellectual disabilities. They are set up for that (at least that’s what they told me), have MHID teams I believe. Poor mental health is more common in those with an ID than in the general population.

What they won’t do is treat people like my adult DS who has autism without an intellectual disability. They said they won’t treat him ‘because he’s autistic’…not trained to apparently. They said to get help from autism services…but autism services address things like social anxiety, not serious mental illness.

I’m not sure how those autistics who have mental health issues as well as intellectual disabilities fare with the services. I can only hope it’s better than for those without an ID.
I truly hope the ID category of the MH services includes them 🙏

It’s very, very difficult to find help.

Christ almighty 🙄 🤦🏼‍♀️

Well, here I am agreeing with that poster. So, just because you reckon it's "socially inept" doesn't mean it is. In addition, using that insult on a thread about autism does rather suggest that it's you who has a bit of a problem with reading the room.

It's her opinion that being normal looks miserable to her. She's entitled to her opinion. It's one I happen to share. Why does it make you feel so threatened?

That sounds the reverse of what I've found. I guess different LA's and CCG's do things differently?

Yes, I'm quite sure about it as I was very peed off about and asked for confirmation from the sw in charge of his transfer to adult services.

I am talking about learning disability not learning difficulties. I'd be interested in the stat your using about mh being more common especially in the breakdown for those considered severe and profound. Also how it's established given the obvious needs.

@Coldhot my previous post was in reply to yours.

I have seen many camhs services refusing help to kids with autism but * I believe this has been successfully challenged (from memory not checked for confirmation). No ecperience of adult services as ds doesn't have mh needs.

Mh services are very stretched I don't believe it's just those with autism impacted. Many camhs require a child/yp to have attempted suicide before they help. It is very sad.

My DH would be considered aspergers, as would my son. My DH was "gifted" in school, very high IQ, did exceptionally well at university, has done very well in life for himself but struggles socially and with anxiety. It is incredibly manageable for him without a diagnosis though. My DS is very similar, taught himself to read, does maths for fun as a toddler. High IQ, slow to speak (AKA asymmetric development), received early intervention and he is doing very well today, future TBD but very unlikely to be the same of a profoundly autistic child. I feel like it is unfair to the people who have profoundly autistic children to lump them together, it takes away from their needs, their funding etc. To me, it isn't the same.

And you agreeing with her doesn’t make her right. She can have an opinion all she likes, but if the list of things that @crackofdoom has written above make someone neurotypical, well fucking colour me autistic then. I’ll go get my diagnosis 🙄

Dull, conformist, status obsessed, shallow interests, miss a lot of the tiny interesting things that make life a joy

This definition of neurotypical smacks of someone who thinks they are exceptional in relation to the rest of humanity. You don’t need a diagnosis of autism to relish the little things that bring joy in life. Being autistic doesn’t make your interests deep and everyone else’s shallow. Being autistic doesn’t make you a non-conformist and everyone else merely sheep.

I can only put such an attitude down to a lack of theory of mind, so I guess that checks out at least.

What's interesting is that a lot of (presumably NT) posters get very incensed about us saying stuff like this. It's almost as if making sweeping generalisations about an entire neurotype is quite insulting, isn't it? 🤔

I think the truth is that "normal" people feel quite comfortable about talking about rather than to autistic people, "othering" us, listing all our traits and congratulating themselves about how lucky they are not to be one us.

But if we turn around and say -"Actually, I like being me. I like being autistic. I love my life, it's full of colour and joy and interest- it's you neurotypicals I pity"- well, how dare we not know our place. We've just robbed you of the warm fuzzy feeling of being superior, haven't we 😆

I’m not sure how it’s established, but there are some figures and links in this article.
www.inclusion-europe.eu/mental-health-people-intellectual-disabilities-families/

Nobody is saying thst and you can feel how you like about your own Neuro diversity
But for many people its isnt a super power and i will continue to speak for my son because he cant speak at all i am his voice
For the most part he seems happy
But its heartbreaking that he csnt even tell me when hes in pain for example.

YANBU. I'm autistic and it drives me mad when people say autism is a gift or a superpower.

Having worked with families with autistic children for years, and seeing them absolutely on their knees, I hard agree. I’ve seen it tear families apart and drive siblings to suicide living with severely autistic brothers and sisters.

It is also ridiculous for someone to say that because they are autistic that means they are privy to the wonders of the world and neurotypical people aren’t. Rather, they live in a grey and dreary world of drudgery, “dull, conformist, shallow” and lacking in the little joys that only someone with autism can see.

Give me a break.

I assume that I'm on a waiting list somewhere. I bypassed my GP in the end (a week after handing the form into them they hadn't even got around to looking at it) and contacted IAS (not sure if there's an equivalent outside Wales). I sent off their questionnaire months ago, yet to get a response.

You clever thing! I love this stuff!

I don't think anyone is saying it over a sweeping generalisation, it's just very cringe and tone deaf and missing the point to have someone in a thread tipping their fedora and calling people sheeple for not agreeing autism is a good thing/super power. People are talking about how the super power statement bothers them because their child will never be able to toilet independently or dress themselves and that's a heartbreaking reality, and they're grouped in with people who "notice the small things" and the extent of the support they need is natural light and the ability to work from home (I'm sure everyone would love that).

Somewhat on the subject of the thread I was diagnosed autistic as a child due to my mother who wanted to fit me into a box far too much and wanted brownie points for being such a martyr (she also loved the benefits she was paid and an excuse for not teaching me life skills/introducing me to new foods and experiences) and it ruined my childhood/early 20s and now I always feel slightly suspicious over autism diagnoses in a quiet/introspective/a bit quirky child. I don't believe I'm autistic at all yet I was diagnosed. I'm just introverted and prone to social anxiety and overstimulation. Since getting away I'm leading a successful if introverted life and it's sad alot of diagnosed people will hamstring themselves with their diagnosis including when they got their diagnosis of their own volition.

Having a low functioning autistic child sounds very difficult and hearing people who just need natural light at a window and get nervous doing a MOT claiming they're just quirky and superpowered while they sort out the logistics of life with a child who will never be independent would piss me off too.

This is where we sit but whilst she is diagnosed and has reasonable adjustments in school around classroom placement and actually it's in her reasonable adjustments that she be challenged appropriately (as she is frustrated and blunt when the work is too easy which causes social issues in turn) I can't see how we take funding away from those with more need.

Her reasonable adjustments are all free for school to implement.

Not everyone gets an ECHP or resources from the system with a diagnosis. Sometimes the diagnosis just helps a child understand why their brain thinks in a certain way.

Edited to say I completely agree they should have renamed Asperger's though rather than categorise it as autism generally.

I can only put such an attitude down to a lack of theory of mind, so I guess that checks out at least

I am horrified at the weaponising of neurocognitive differences to insult an autistic person.

That pp's posts weren't about you and there was no need for you to take them personally.

My 9yo son’s super power today was getting up at 4am, weeing all over both his bed and ours, and then throwing porridge on our bed while we were changing it.

What a gift, he is truly blessed!

I’m not taking it personally. That is your incorrect reading of my comment and your incorrect assumptions of my emotions. I hold no truck with all that meaningless “weaponising” nonsense.

Based on the reactions to my comments, I can see that people agree with what I said. I’m not about to simper and say that autistic people are extra special and have some magical relationship with the world while neurotypical people suffer in grey drudgery.

Again why do you assume people are incensed?

People are merely telling you that you are wrong but you are insisting we are all furious. No. We are correcting your bizarre assumptions.