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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this view re autism frustrating

483 replies

Pleasenomorespiders · 04/08/2026 19:25

Somebody today tried to argue that autism is simply a 'gift' because people like Einstein supposedly had it, I suppose they're talking about people on the spectrum being more gifted and talented in some areas.
This person must surely realise it's a spectrum and has failed to mention how debilitating autism can be, how much people with it can struggle in every aspect of life and may never be able to have a 'normal' life.

Calling it a 'gift' is nice, they're only thinking about high-functioning individuals who as I say have heightened awareness and notice patterns, artistically or mathematically gifted, or whatever it may be. Autism is simply not 'just seeing the world differently'. Many individuals will never have a job or a relationship.

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Pairlesssocks · 08/08/2026 19:04

morehairneeded · 08/08/2026 18:42

Hmm, I don't know. Maybe sometimes. But my understanding was that the term was originally coined to mean Autism and ADHD specifically and that was the original meaning. Others have pushed to expand it since then but they tend to want the broader meaning to stand in all contexts as they're only included by that broader meaning. It's an interesting term though. I can see how it might apply to all sorts of things.

No, it never meant only them. It isn’t even any logic that it should. Though there is definitely a much bigger industry attached to autism and they have a much louder voice than many other conditions. ADHD is itself a relatively new comer in terms of publicity.

Coldhot · 08/08/2026 20:40

CariadDarling · 08/08/2026 18:48

It’s Classic Kanners Autism and I will only ever refer to my 35 years old son as having classic kanners autism. It describes him to a T which is something none of the new fangled terms have ever managed to do. Then there’s also his Tourette’s syndrome, his bipolar disorder and his epilepsy but even those three conditions together don’t manage to take away from his classic Kenner’s autism. There really is nothing like classic Kenner’s Autism.

It’s interesting though, when you read Kanner’s original paper, that at least some of the children he describes sound like they had conditions more akin to Asperger’s. His Case 1, Donald Triplett, later did a degree in mathematics and French, for example.
Some were institutionalised so early it’s hard to know how they’d have developed if things were done differently.

I think today people usually understand it to overlap significantly with profound autism, but at least some of Kanner’s children didn’t have an intellectual disability.

(Maybe I’m mistaken about how people understand Kanner’s autism though. It was certainly how I understood it until I read his paper, but I could have got things wrong of course.)

DontBuyAnotherBook · 08/08/2026 21:43

Pairlesssocks · 08/08/2026 12:39

I have seen some crazy online autism activists who accuse any therapy or teaching of trying to train out autism, including things like social stories or speech and language therapy. It is almost as if they think autistic children uniquely do not need support to learn or develop unlike all other children.

I know an activist late diagnosed autistic mum of an autistic child who has taken this approach with her child. Their child is now much more disabled than they would otherwise be as she believes it is entirely for society to change to fit her child. The child (now nearly adult) is autistic and would always have had difficulties. If they weren’t autistic you might refer to them as ‘spoilt’ through constant indulgence. Some people would hugely object to me saying that but being autistic doesn’t stop you from being harmed in that way too.

They would rather let children like mine barely be able to speak?? Weirdos.

Pairlesssocks · 09/08/2026 12:23

DontBuyAnotherBook · 08/08/2026 21:43

They would rather let children like mine barely be able to speak?? Weirdos.

Don’t worry, they will speak on your child’s behalf and tell you what you are doing wrong because they know what it is to be your child better than you….

SupernaturalAddict · 09/08/2026 12:39

I have to say i'm glad to see so much push back against the 'autism crowd' and support for profound and severe autism. I've found this hasn't always been the case.

x2boys · 09/08/2026 12:50

Pairlesssocks · 09/08/2026 12:23

Don’t worry, they will speak on your child’s behalf and tell you what you are doing wrong because they know what it is to be your child better than you….

Yes absolutley but they are so out of touch and just dont get it
I once got told when saying how life coukd be hard sometimes with my seveley autitistic son
That onee day he will be able to read comments like this and how would it make him feel?
At 16 hes totally non verbal with very limited communication and is completeley oblivious to the fact hes autistic or what it is
Its laughable that they think hes goung to be able to read comments.

Pairlesssocks · 09/08/2026 13:19

x2boys · 09/08/2026 12:50

Yes absolutley but they are so out of touch and just dont get it
I once got told when saying how life coukd be hard sometimes with my seveley autitistic son
That onee day he will be able to read comments like this and how would it make him feel?
At 16 hes totally non verbal with very limited communication and is completeley oblivious to the fact hes autistic or what it is
Its laughable that they think hes goung to be able to read comments.

But but but he could become a Professor of Education and Sociology at Cambridge!

x2boys · 09/08/2026 13:29

Pairlesssocks · 09/08/2026 13:19

But but but he could become a Professor of Education and Sociology at Cambridge!

Whilst running 600 miles in 6 days 😂😂

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