AIBU to refuse a bungalow when downsizing for our forever home?

[Opie1]

We live in a 4 bed detached house on a new build estate (30 years old now but you know what I mean).

im 45. DH is 55. We have no kids at home now so have been talking about downsizing. We want to live out in the countryside and I was thinking cottage/farmhouse … however DH seems to have it in his head that we need to move into a bungalow. I hate bungalows, I think they’re for the elderly. Every one he’s shown me has been grannyish inside and 60s/70s vibe on the outside. Not how I had envisioned our forever home at all.

AIBU to refuse to move to a bungalow?

I lived in a bungalow for some years. It was light and spacious with lovely views.
There are of course pokey bungalows .... just dont buy one of those!
Living in the country? .... love it! I am surrounded by people of all ages and we all help and support each other.

Whether or not it’s a bungalow, it’s sensible to consider at 55 that mobility may become an issue, my house is stair lift compatible and has wide doors, crucially it’s flat access and we can reach shops, the doctors and the bus stop without incline. We also have pubs, restaurants etc in walking distance. We are a few years on from you, dh has retired now and we can drop to one car. Rural and even some villages can become a prison if you can’t drive

We live in a large house rurally and we will likely have to downsize and also move either much nearer the village or into a town because although I love living here and would be devastated to leave the house and the location if we couldn’t drive we would be stuck out here. I have however thought I could get a mobility scooter as the village is only a mile or so away and the hill would be easier

You don't know how much you would appreciate having a downstairs bedroom till your mobility goes. You can redecorate any grannyish ones.

I’ve looked at a few places (also in our 50s) and I like the ones that have a full bathroom downstairs and a room that can be used as a bedroom. I’d rather sleep upstairs whilst I can.
i broke my ankle once and it would have been useful then.

Our old house only had a bathroom upstairs and MIL struggled as she lived in a ground floor flat and never used stairs anywhere else. She could hardly get up and down in her 50s.
But like others the main things I am looking for is shops and transport. DH has a friend whose wife is losing her sight who has moved from somewhere very remote to a few miles outside a big village - no buses or paths so she is totally trapped when he is out. Crazy behaviour.

Go for the best of both worlds worlds a bungalow with a bedroom upstairs

from experience it’s better to buy something granny fied then do it to your own taste
we bought a house that had been renovated it was immaculate but quite a lot was not to our taste so we paid top price be it had been renovated then had to pay again to get it to our taste

They are much prized by the elderly for a reason.

Well it’s not gonna be a forever home is it if it’s in the middle of the countryside.

A forever home going forward would be one that you don’t have to move from when you get old and it’s completely impractical to live in the countryside when you’re elderly and infirm.

So from that perspective, you’re looking at home for about 15 years until you need to think about moving to a home that’s elderly friendly. At that point bungalows start to look more attractive.

No
You need to be happy, not planning for infirmity 25 plus years hence.
At your age stairs are good for you!

You could always get a stairlift if needed years down the line. My parents in their 80s don't need a stair lift yet.

Do you actually want a forever home or a 20-25 year home? Because if you want a house you can easily live in until your 80s or 90s, a rural cottage is not it.

When I was 45 I think I felt the same. I'm at a bungalow holiday cottage at the moment and if bloody love it. Feels so spacious and if move to one in a heartbeat.

What disability did your mother have that caused her to be so immobile in her 50s?

I grew up in a bungalow. There are a few on my street with young families in them.

I'm 38 and love bungalows!

YABVU and quite ageist with all your comments. Bungalows you have looked at are 'grannyish' WTF does that even mean?

They are not just for the elderly. Many people/couples go into them when they're 52-55. And some younger people/families with children go in. Several families in my street are in bungalows, and the adults are in their 30s and 40s.

We bought a dormer bungalow as our forever home 2 beds and upstairs bathroom, one bed and another bathroom downstairs - very large ground floor space in general
I still have bedroom upstairs but at least know I won’t have to move if mobility becomes an issue
Plenty of space for guests and family including grandchildren

Right so rural properties - as others have said - are not “forever homes” for people in their 50s, you’ll find they aren’t appropriate for you within 15-20 years.

Bungalows though, those are potentially very interesting. So you have ground floor bedrooms and living space, they tend to be more flexible than normal houses because you can reallocate a bedroom as a second sitting room /hobby room etc without it being obvious you’ve converted a bedroom. Plus if you can go up into the loft to add 2 bedrooms and a bathroom (usual loft conversion for a bungalow) while keeping your ground floor as is, you get your bedrooms for now, extra living space on the ground floor, you can live in it while the work is being done and if in old age stairs become and issue, you’ve already got ground floor bedrooms and bathroom.

You can redecorate.

Only if going up and downstairs is the only exercise you do.

Up to you. If you don't like bungalows don't move to one. But they're not just for old folk.

You're stupid to move rurally to a forever home whether bungalow or not.

Oh dear I’d better tell DH that we’re already elderly after buying a bungalow as our “forever home” in ours 30s…

Not this rubbish again! 🙄Some of us live in countries where what you call a "bungalow" is just a standard house and most of us live in them. Somehow we are still able to climb stairs if we need to and our fitness levels are fine.

We also don't injure or kill ourselves falling on the stairs we don't have!

Might just stay where we are to be honest, didn’t think about the impracticality of countryside living as an old person and I quite like this house

@SooPanda Spot on. Think about modernizing and how amazing one level living can be. I’d be doing a Grand Designs project!