AIBU to refuse a bungalow when downsizing for our forever home?

[Opie1]

We live in a 4 bed detached house on a new build estate (30 years old now but you know what I mean).

im 45. DH is 55. We have no kids at home now so have been talking about downsizing. We want to live out in the countryside and I was thinking cottage/farmhouse … however DH seems to have it in his head that we need to move into a bungalow. I hate bungalows, I think they’re for the elderly. Every one he’s shown me has been grannyish inside and 60s/70s vibe on the outside. Not how I had envisioned our forever home at all.

AIBU to refuse to move to a bungalow?

Exactly! We downsized to a bungalow 19 years ago this month, the previous owner had bought it as a new build in 1980. Obviously when we moved in it was dated, but we extended the main bedroom, removed the bath,and installed a wetroom. (I have struggled getting in and out of a bath for years, due to a knee injury.) Added a gorgeous wooden conservatory, and it's decorated throughout like a cool apartment.

We love it, so glad we moved before we go too old to make the change.

I live in a flat and have for years. WFH since Covid. Early 50's and I now find stairs an issue - hadn't really thought of this but I will now make sure I get some more stair exposure.......

A bungalow is what you make it. Our bungalow was originally 4 bed, now it is two bed with a kitchen running the whole back half of the property.

I’ve lived in a few bungalows in my time, many more houses, including farm houses. I far prefer bungalows, the layout is more accessible, a decent layout means you can sleep in peace without telly noise from below, we have a converted bungalow now, we converted it, and now our downstairs bedroom has french doors to the garden so it’s lovely to wake up with a cup of tea looking into the garden. The kids have rooms upstairs so it’s lovely to get some distance from each other as they’re teens so enjoy their alone time

So did we 2 with 2 toddler twins, then had 2 more children. You decorate it as you want. Large footprint, sought after properties, takes 15 mins to hoover through!

During the heatwaves being able to sleep downstairs, two bedrooms on the North East aspect has been wonderful. There's a bedroom and bathroom upstairs which has been soo hot with a south west aspect.

You really need to reconsider your rural dream. Driving is going to become less and less of an option for many reasons, public and personal. Bungalow? Don’t care either way.

Oh a bungalow is the best. We were trying to find one when we downsized but there isn't any in our area we would have to move further out.

I wish we had a bungalow. They are honestly the best.

We had one when we lived abroad and I was against it at first but wow so nice. Miss it. Hate the stairs and carrying laundry up and down and having to go up and down with the kids. Usch.

Isn't a bungalow with a bedroom upstairs like a pregnant virgin?

I’d love a bungalow, with a verandah all around. Just being able to hear the sea in the distance. I can dream, Don’t fancy bungalow knee, though - often mentioned on gransnet - which I adore.

I never thought it would happen to me, as I have always been active, but arthritis runs in my family and I am in constant pain now and trying to avoid stairs whenever possible

I've just been diagnosed with knee arthritis, mid 60s. Flare ups are so painful, couldn't even bear weight on one knee for a couple of weeks. 3 months ago I was walking 8000 to 12000 steps a day. Last week I only managed to potter around the house and garden. It's shocking how your life can change in such a short time.

On the bright side I'm looking at having some treatment to cushion the joints.
Not NHS obviously. They've recommended paracetamol. Anyway, just saying, the best laid plans etc . . .

More on topic, I lived in a bungalow mid 20s to mid 30s. Loved it.

Knowing that people are managing in rural locations well into old age is no help to those who one day find that they can't

I live rurally and am no spring chicken. At least we can both still drive.
My neighbours (who live in a bungalow!) are late 70s and rely on neighbours for 'everything' that comes into the house. One neighbour gets their shopping, another their prescriptions, whoever can manage it takes them to hospital appointments. It's all very well managed community support - but - it's a real pain in the arse after a few years. What starts as something that's not much trouble soon turns into a real chore. With no bus service and no shop, the village is completely unsuitable for them. A house near town with a regular bus route would answer all their needs.

It’s fine for the age they are now. But for retirement - if you stop being able to walk or drive for whatever reason - eyesight, mobility - you’re marooned. Sure you can have your food delivered but you can’t easily get to the post, chemist, doctor etc. Getting around in taxis is expensive and difficult

You can also become socially isolated.

I'm decades older than you and value the exercise my stairs give me and my continued good mobility

People who live in bungalows can still take regular exercise. Going up and down stairs in your own home doesn't amount to much - continuing good mobility depends on a lot more than that.

It may well depend on how much exercise you get generally. ‘Bungalow knees’ are well known to GPs!

My folks moved to a bungalow in their 60s, not because they particularly wanted one, but because it was all they could find in the area they’d chosen.

Only after 3 years they decided they didn’t like the area after all, and moved again, to a 2 storey house. And immediately found that the lack of stairs had seriously affected their fitness.
It did eventually return, of course, and my DM was still well able to manage stairs when she moved to a care home at nearly 89.

I’d just add that my elder sister, who is generally very fit and moved to a bungalow a few years ago - a necessary move given BiL’s fragile health - does find stairs a bit of an effort now.

I moved to a bungalow in my 20’s. I most certainly did not develop ‘bungalow legs’ what nonsense. My partner at the time was a competitive cyclist and I am very fit. They don’t have to be old fashioned, decorate to your own taste. Decorating is much easier too as it can often be done on a step stool.

Have a look with an open mind.

Bungalows are relatively expensive, compared to houses.

‘Bungalow legs’? Just googled it. Would love to see the ‘research’!
Millions of people have grown up in single storey homes including myself, afaik we haven’t atrophied more quickly than others.
I moved to a bungalow a few years ago that was completely modernised, wood floors, bi-folds, open plan living area. Love it. The footprint is larger than a house with the same number of bedrooms so feels very spacious. Go and view a few OP!

I’m 76 and DH is 83. We moved from the country back into town seven years ago because where we lived you had to get in the car to go anywhere (2.5 miles to the nearest shop), there was no public transport and the garden was getting beyond us. It’s hard work moving and I’m glad we did it then - it would be much harder now. We saw older friends become unable to drive and have mounting health issues.

Now we live half a mile from a supermarket and one block from a bus route into the town centre. We’ve made the house so it will be manageable if we get less able and we’ve got to know our neighbours since we don’t have family nearby. Please think about the realities of old age before you buy, and at least if you don’t buy a bungalow buy a house you could retrofit with a stairlift if you ever need one.

Renovate a bungalow to your own tastes, you are young so with some modernization it could look fantastic place, nothing dreary, more like a party place with all mod cons.
I have lived in flats since I was 27, with lifts, and I certainly do not have bunga-legs but then I am out walking not going up and downstairs.
In fact thousand of people in the UK, 43000, have severe accidents each year on them.

YANBU op, I find something ‘not right’ about bungalows!

Why does he think it needs to be a bungalow?

a house with enough rooms downstairs to convert one to a bedroom and the ability to have a downstairs shower room is really what he means isn’t it?

people become focused on a bungalow when what they really need is adaptable space.

I have a four bed, thirty year old house. I am single, no kids. I can adapt the second living room into a bedroom and there is a downstairs loo. Could put a shower in the utility room if I ever need to.

I have no plans on downsizing. The location is perfect - bus at the end of the road, chemist, hairdresser, sainsburys, GP all within walking or short bus ride. I am still in my forties but I love this place and it should work for a very long time

What on earth is that supposed to mean? 😕

Apparently if you've always lived in a single-storey house, you don't get bungalow legs because your body is used to it. It's the move from stairs to single level that results in a detectable loss of muscle mass and strength. It makes sense, otherwise generations of Australians would be totally fecked as so many houses were, and still are, single-storey.

Bungalows, or houses as they're called in Oz, do not have a granny vibe.