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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want some time off from being 'mum'

98 replies

deglectedhousewife · 26/06/2008 20:12

Apparently (according to dp) I am not allowed to go out to see my friends or anywhere else (corner shop, hair appt etc etc) without taking the kids with me.
Apparently this is what I signed up for when I got pregnant.

OP posts:
StellaWasADiver · 26/06/2008 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twelvelegs · 26/06/2008 20:14

Just go, make sure you say goodbye as you leave.. Not allowed what a bunch of crap!!

DonDons · 26/06/2008 20:14

kick him in the nuts on your way out

BetteNoire · 26/06/2008 20:16

You don't need his permission.

Original poster
deglectedhousewife · 26/06/2008 20:16

No, he never has the kids. He comes and goes as he pleases and neglects to tell me where he is/been. For instance, he went to work yesterday (he is a barman) His shift finished at 6.30pm and he finally came home at around 11pm. No phone call or explanation when he got in.

OP posts:
LuckySalem · 26/06/2008 20:16

deglect - DP was like this till I refused to take DD one day. I left her in bed with him, she screamed her head off and when I came back he was sitting downstairs grumbling but he's never thought about telling me I don't have a choice and if asked will watch her for an hour or two... now and then

girliefriend · 26/06/2008 20:16

tell him to get lost and go out for a good piss up with your mates! XxX

micci25 · 26/06/2008 20:17

id say just go! if my dp ever said anything like that to me it would be the last thing he ever got say!!! i often think he is a tosser but its threads like this that make me appreciate what i have got!!

tell him you are off to the corner shop for a bit an ddont come back! oh and ask what he signed upto when he became a father! or is not one?

BetteNoire · 26/06/2008 20:18

You are very patient.

I wouldn't put up with that kind of bollocks from anyone, frankly.

Real men have respect for the mother of their children.

Wisteria · 26/06/2008 20:18

Golly aren't you all being polite?

My response:

Fuck off you eejit, I didn't get pregnant by myself.............

peggotty · 26/06/2008 20:18

Sorry, but your dp is a selfish wanker. What age are your children?

Original poster
deglectedhousewife · 26/06/2008 20:20

baby (his) is 7 months, daughter is 6 years (not his)

OP posts:
Original poster
deglectedhousewife · 26/06/2008 20:22

I do know he is a selfish wanker but he wears me down and makes me doubt myself sometimes so I have to come on here and just double check that it IS him and not me.
I was supposed to be going out tomorrow night for my 'welcome' do at my new job but now he has booked himself a shift in at work so i can't go. There are about 30 people going for MY welcome do and I can't go. How embarressing

OP posts:
StellaWasADiver · 26/06/2008 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wisteria · 26/06/2008 20:23

babysitter?

woodenchair · 26/06/2008 20:23

that's ridiculous! from a very early age dp took ds for 1/2 the weekend. One a good weekend it meant that I got sat lunch to sunday lunch off.

Your dp is being a knob, tell him to learn how to take responsibility for his child!

codslovechild · 26/06/2008 20:24

Hes a wanker
its him

sort him out

LuckySalem · 26/06/2008 20:24

Get a babysitter!! Go anyway!! That is ridiculous!

rookiemater · 26/06/2008 20:25

Can you book a baby sitter or get a relative to look after the children ? I think it would be a shame if you couldn't go and might give people the wrong impression if you aren't able to get along.

Quite frankly with that attitude I'd be explaining to my DP that if we split up, he would bloody have to look after the kids every other weekend.

Original poster
deglectedhousewife · 26/06/2008 20:25

I had a babysitter lined up but he said he would not let her look after our son cause he did not know her.

OP posts:
BetteNoire · 26/06/2008 20:27

Take the children out.
Drop them at the babysitters' house.
Go out and enjoy yourself.

Then go to your GP and see if you can get on some sort of assertiveness course.

Your DP is treating you like shit, and you are allowing him to.

It is not good for your DCs to see.

nervousal · 26/06/2008 20:27

I can't imagine DP ever telling me I couldn't go out without DD. Your's it a twat - but you're letting him away with it.

codslovechild · 26/06/2008 20:28

Tell him to fuck right off

Original poster
deglectedhousewife · 26/06/2008 20:28

I am quite reluctant to get into a bog row with him cause he can get quite aggressive and it is more hassle than its worth sometimes.
I think he is just a control freak.
i think he thinks that cause only one of the kids is his then he has a get out clause. Maybe he does not understand that I need some time to be ME. (he thinks that I get this by going to work - you would not believe the battle I had getting a childminder!)

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 26/06/2008 20:28

Is he for real??? Tell him if he has a problem with the babysitter than to bloody well look after them himself. Fucking idiot. He sounds like a control freak.

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