AIBU not to let my three-year-old watch Frozen yet?

[Colourfulrainbowunicorns]

A discussion came up with a bunch of mum friends and I was definitely in the minority. I thought I would post here to see if I am being unreasonable. It's fine if I am.

My DD is 3. She has become aware of the character of Elsa from Frozen at nursery and loves this character. I am not bothered by this and happily got her an 'Elsa' dress when asked. I also allow the songs.

I will not however let her watch the full film.

She gets a bit invested in programs and is easily upset. She also likes to properly understand 'why'. I think there is a LOT of explanation and unpacking needed in Frozen and that she can wait a year or so.

On a practical note she doesn't have the concentration to watch a full length film like that.

Aged 3 is when they like frozen. My ten year old sees it as babyish. Yabu. It's a child's cartoon with some good songs. Ok gets a bit scary at a few points but nothing too much.

🤣🤣🤣

My DS is 21 now. I forgot how insightful preschoolers can be with a wealth of complicated questions

OP another saying YABU. But to think you’ve probably got that by now!

Its great that your 3yo can recognise emotion and question it. I’d be encouraging it rather than avoiding it.

It was on most days when mine was 3. Peak Elsa. Costumes. Full song performances. Happy memories 🥰

It's a tough old world OP...and if you and your 3 year old can't handle a kids cartoon film (aimed at her age group)....how on earth do you expect her to navigate life?

Have you watched it yourself? From what I remember when my DD watched it (same age) I don’t think the parental death wasn’t that obvious. As in the theme was there visible to adults, but you don’t see the parents die.

I was that child who wasn’t allowed to watch popular films. I never got common cultural references and there are many I still don’t! I’d let her watch it because at nursery or school that’s a film most children will have seen.

My son is just turned 5 and is only now starting to be ready for films. I didn’t stop him watching them earlier but he really can’t handle peril and a few attempts ended in tears. We made it half way through frozen before he asked to turn it off. Finding Nemo was a major error and left him upset for a while after. But he seems keen to see the new paw patrol dino movie so I might try and get him to stick that out.

So, essentially, I think it massively depends on the child but if she actively asks to watch it, I’d probably watch with her and just be prepared to turn off as necessary.

There’s a whole Bluey episode about her being too sensitive for movies which my son found reassuring.

Kids who ate sensitive to noise or ideas like OPs especially if they are ND, can find films with peril or shock jump scare moments (like the snow monster in Frozen roaring) terrifying
And then its us that then have to deal with the nightmares, anxieties (which they already inherently have in abundance), tears. They can’t unsee it.
You know your own kids. The answer is always to watch the movie yourself first to decide if a movie will work for your kids. It is totally irrelevant what anyone else is doing with their kids.

My son must of been two or three when he first watched it. He’s 15 now, I can’t think of anything negative that frozen has remotely done to him.
OP do you not think she’s going to keep asking?

some posters seem to feel very confidently that young kids just come in different ages … not with different personalities and/or additional needs
Wide berth best for that advice. Inapplicable to many children and therefore poor parenting to forge on with the one size fits all approach.

This. It's fine to watch it in bits. Some of it will go over her head but it doesn't matter.

She sounds very intelligent and sensitive (like my eldest DD)
You do what you feel is right x

For some reason people think Frozen is for toddlers. It really isn't. When Hans was revealed as the bad guy, adults in the cinema genuinely gasped. There is quite a lot of dark stuff in the story.

There's plenty of shorter shows suitable for toddlers.

Why not?

I mean, you don't have to 'explain the whole thing', but a simple 'oh dear, Elsa is sad because X happened, let's see if she feels better soon' and then obviously there's a happy ending.

There's nothing wrong with a 3 year old starting to explore emotions - it's healthy.

I get that she likes to understand why and gets invested etc, but you really don't have to explain everything, you can still let her experience it and be a bit confused and then comfort/ support her with it. It's OK.

I think life is generally quite confusing for 3 year olds and sometimes they just sit with that and it's alright!

Also though, you definitely don't have to. It's up to you, you're her parent and her life won't be massively affected by not watching Frozen for another year.

It's Frozen, not Saving Private Ryan. How much explanation does it need?

I am still going through and trying to respond to people but I wanted to put a general thank you. You have made me consider my reasons. It started as a no I don't want to show that now I am really thinking about why.

I am not convinced still but I think that I am coming to the conclusion that my objections are around the parental death theme, the sisters having a complex relationship theme because there has been death and because she is about to get a sister.

I also think that I just don't like full length films at this age.

I more or less did this. They’re fine adults.

Letnthe child watch thr movie
Its called life where we learn ird not always happy or needing to be as well as explain it in a 3yr old appropriate way.
Unbeleivable

We let DD1 watch the Frozen shorts at 3.5y after she had been to a party with an Elsa princess - I think theres one called Frozen Fever and maybe another one? We also bought the Frozen story and read that instead plus we had the Frozen songs for the Yoto, which she listened to. But she didnt watch the film until she was just before 4y I think (and that was because she wanted her own Elsa princess party).

She did find it scary in some parts the first time we watched it and the second time we watched led to lots of questions about the shipwreck, so im glad we held off a little.

I'm with you. 3 year old don't need any TV. Sing the songs, wear the dress and do something actually age appropriate together.

I think 3 is too young for a full length film. We watched Snail and the Shale and Stickman for the first time and back to back recently when our son was ill and je got upset. I think its5thr music which affected him. So I agree with you OP

Strictly no boys allowed. Ever. No dressing up. That's for girls.

Joke.

My 10 yo DS used to sing along to that film all the time and dance around his room. If he is reminded of it now he denies that was him as a 3yo🤣

Three is the age that I started watching movies with my dc/ going to the cinema etc. They loved it. We still enjoy watching movies together now they are adults.
Have to admit, astro boy horrified me but the fact that the actual boy died just washed over my then five year old. My adult brain thought about that a lot more deeply than my child did.
Not wanting to explain the whole thing is a strange reason to say no though. Parents spend years explaining things, it's normal.

Parental death is in loads of books and fairy tales. Avoiding it isn't really helpful long term either. There is a (very slim) chance it could happen and pretending it couldn't happen could create a problem.

Re the sibling rivalry, again you're over laying adult understanding to a 3yo. Not all sibling relationships are the same.

Also if she's about to get a sibling, it's good to start exploring relationships and emotions. Practically, a bit of screen time might buy you a few minutes peace with 2 kids as well!

Let it go FFS. YABU.