AIBU not to let my three-year-old watch Frozen yet?

[Colourfulrainbowunicorns]

A discussion came up with a bunch of mum friends and I was definitely in the minority. I thought I would post here to see if I am being unreasonable. It's fine if I am.

My DD is 3. She has become aware of the character of Elsa from Frozen at nursery and loves this character. I am not bothered by this and happily got her an 'Elsa' dress when asked. I also allow the songs.

I will not however let her watch the full film.

She gets a bit invested in programs and is easily upset. She also likes to properly understand 'why'. I think there is a LOT of explanation and unpacking needed in Frozen and that she can wait a year or so.

On a practical note she doesn't have the concentration to watch a full length film like that.

Completely up to you but if you don’t, your Frozen window is closing fast. DD is 5 and she’s well over Frozen; in fact, I was quite excited about taking her to Frozen world at Disneyland Paris but I don’t think she’d be that bothered at all now.

There'll be a lot that'll fly over her head. In terms of upsets it's all part of growing up and you'll be there to help her understand ( or unpack).

My 13, 11 and 7 year olds would love to go to Frozen World at Disney!

Try explaining the back story of Darth Vader to a just turned 4yo!

You're over thinking it. Let her watch it and answer any questions she has. Simple.

Plus Olaf is very funny.

If you don't want to show her because you think it's too much screen time, then that's fair enough (though I disagree personally).

But to not show her because you can't be bothered to explain the themes is really pretty bad. How can she learn about things unless you teach her? Narratives are a great way for kids to learn more about people and the world. As is talking to their parents.

It's a fairly shit film in my opinion, and my daughter had no interest in it, thankfully. But as yours does, to deny her access to it as you "don't want to explain it" is indefensible. (It's hardly Finnegan's Wake, anyway - what about it do you think she will find so hard to understand?)

I voted YANBU for a couple of reasons; one is light-hearted(ish) in that my DD watched it at the childminders aged 3 and there's a joke in the film about eating bogeys. Since then she's eaten bogeys and I've found it nigh on impossible to stop her as she sneaks them when she thinks I'm not looking - she's almost five now. Bleugh!

The other is that my DD has always always been screen obsessed and could watch hours of TV from a young age. The only reason I know this is because she got plonked in front of the TV fairly regularly when she saw her dad (this has got a bit better in the last few months), and the childminder puts the TV on for the kids and comments that DD just sits staring at it wide eyed and wide mouthed. I don't do screens at all at home and I'm looking forward to her having less access to screens when she goes to school (I never commented to the childminder about use of screen time as she was otherwise a fantastic childminder!). Anyway, all this to say nobody needs to watch TV, you can do so many other things with that time that actually benefit your child!

i agree at 3 she will probably not have the concentration

It’s your choice. You don’t need to justify it.

My DD is 3.5 and in peak Elsa. I think she understands the magic as Elsa being forced to hide an important part of herself because it hurt Anna, and because she can't be honest about it, it explodes out of her. (Actually closer to the queer reading of Frozen, when I think about it...)

I also have a DS6 and parental death in films/books didn't really worry him until at least 4, probably closer to 5. They can't really understand the finality of death until then. With Frozen it's also very easy to say "people in real life don't die in shipwrecks; this is a fairy tale".

I agree that Frozen is complex! Most good stories for children are. What happens is that children revisit them over time and take different things away from them, as they begin to understand them at different levels.

If you want the light, shorter version the shorts on Disney plus are good. But personally I love that my children are now more keen to engage with longer narratives like full length films. We watched two Ghibli films last week and it was lovely seeing how much they enjoyed them and talking about them afterwards.

It seems a little over considered. The themes you mention - perhaps they mean a lot to you? I was completely bereft when Mofasa died goodness me. I don't think my children were as bothered lol. Is she your first? What will you do when your second or third sees something the older one is watching? My little one saw something in a cartoon but older film - Raya and the dragon - that really scared her bless her and that took a lot of explaining, but she survived it. Which is the important thing. We can survive difficult things! Plus she loved the dragons. I remember being traumatised by water ship down! Not sure I could watch it even now lol

Also coming into your more integrated self is a very human thing to want to do. To be seen. To be accepted. Don't get me started on Encanto 💗

YANBU. Disney+ rates Frozen as suitable for age 6years+

Narratives, in all media, are really important to introduce children to difficult concepts. They provide a space for children to be introduced to death, loss etc within the safety of a fictional context. For children who have experienced loss at a very early age, narratives can provide a sense of recognition for what they have experienced and a language to describe how they felt.

Preferring not to show a three-year-old long-form media is valid. The rest of the OP's reasoning is entirely from an adult lens. Children generally meet age-appropriate narratives where they are and engage at the right level for them - the rest goes over their heads.

Three years is peak Frozen watching era!

I’m glad you’re now considering different viewpoints.

I think because DD is asking to watch it that’s fine.

I wouldn’t be encouraging a 3yo to sit and watch long films if they don’t show an interest.

Im very sorry to hear about your parent dying. That’s bound to have an effect on you and how you view your DD dealing with parental death. But 3yo have a totally different perception on the world.

Congratulations of expecting another little girl.

You may be glad your DD will sit and watch frozen for 1.5 hrs when you have a toddler and newborn 🤣

But asking questions about such things is how a child learns and develops emotionally. You dont need to explain the whole thing do you?
Better for her to watch a Disney film where issues are explored in a "softer" way. You are being very very overprotective and in doing so storing up problems for the future.

Since we were living in an Abu Dhabi desert at the time, years ago now, with nothing on the TV for children except Sindbad cartoons in Arabic, I was pleased when someone gave us a (pirate) The Sound of Music, saying that dd, 3, might like it.

I had never seen it myself, having been a teen when it first came out, and thinking that all the old ladies raving about it must mean it was saccharine sweet and dreadful.
But I sat and watched it with dd, and when dh came home, said somewhat sheepishly, ‘actually, it’s rather good…’

Dd soon became addicted to it, and sang all the songs.

It was only a lot later, when she was doing GCSE history, that she told me that all the ‘Nazi’ stuff had more or less passed her by.

This is where children are growing up too fast due to screens. My kids didn’t watch frozen till about 7 and they still love it today as older teenagers. It is a genuinely great film with a brilliant plot and a fab score/great songs. If your five year old has grown out of it then there’s something wrong with the five year olds circumstances.

our primary school asked to play frozen in reception. There was uproar not only because many felt it was unsuitable for young children but also because they felt it was outrageous to play films to reception age children! The parents revolted and films were banned across the whole school. Because it wasn’t about the kids, it was so the teachers could have a rest and do other things. That’s not a reason to expose a child to any kind of stimulus. And I say this as a primary school teacher.

You really aren’t op. Answering questions according to life’s unavoidable incidents is age appropriate and very different to exposing your child to outside stimuli that may mean they are individually not ready for it. Clever kids are often deeper thinkers whereas the ‘scarier’ stuff can go over other children’s heads.

Now that is one traumatic film 🤣

Surely she'll take in what's age appropriate and any more advanced themes will go over her head? She's asking about Elsa and her feelings because she's interested and wants to see the film. Once she's seen it she won't need to ask you why she does this or feels that.

It's a little kids cartoon film. I can't understand what harm it could do. She must know that cartoons aren't real people?

“Unpacking” 🙄

Yes absolutely, and the love trickery from Hans..Elsa is nearly murdered with a sword at the end. There is absolutely quite a lot to unpack. There are many better things for a three year old to watch.

My DD was never particularly sensitive and happily watched films from quite young, but her good friend is still hardly watching films at 7. Extremely sensitive, gets nightmares, has a deep need to understand all the details. Depends entirely on the child.

You know your child best. At three you get to make these decisions for her.
Trust your gut.
She loses nothing by not watching the film. There are lots of books you can read to her instead.
I wouldn’t give it another moments thought.