AIBU not to let my three-year-old watch Frozen yet?

[Colourfulrainbowunicorns]

A discussion came up with a bunch of mum friends and I was definitely in the minority. I thought I would post here to see if I am being unreasonable. It's fine if I am.

My DD is 3. She has become aware of the character of Elsa from Frozen at nursery and loves this character. I am not bothered by this and happily got her an 'Elsa' dress when asked. I also allow the songs.

I will not however let her watch the full film.

She gets a bit invested in programs and is easily upset. She also likes to properly understand 'why'. I think there is a LOT of explanation and unpacking needed in Frozen and that she can wait a year or so.

On a practical note she doesn't have the concentration to watch a full length film like that.

@TheatreTraveller your 5 year old sounds badass. Was genuinely having a conversation about Labyrinth this week, I watched it at 7 or 8 and was terrified 🤣 the weird woman in the rubbish dump still freaks me out tbh. And the tossing head bird things shudders.

My husband and his mother were thrown out of Bambi because he cried so loud and hard when Babi’s mother died. He was around 5.

She does have screen time. Mostly CBeebies. She loves dinosaur programs, animal programs, those annoying childrens ballets, clangers and sports or sometimes cooking from adult tv.

Not huge amounts. l would say most days up to 1 hour. Some days she doesn't ask though.

I do explain. I just don't think that we need to go through the whole film explaining being scared of yourself, loneliness, deceit, ambition, manipulation of others, herd mentality, etc.

I am hardly babying my DD to say that she can wait until 4 before understanding some of these concepts.

It is. If I want to start with films I will pick a U. For context a teacher should ask before showing it in school.

Just to clarify, the government aren’t recommending you have one hour a day- they’re saying if you have screen time it should be no more than one hour a day. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-screen-time-guidance-for-parents-of-under-5s

We have already explained and she has experienced death. Her DGP lived with us before her death. We have had many conversations around this.

I have explained everything bit of science asked about from changing states of matter to quantum physics. Including setting up science experiments.

Please do not assume.

Please so not make sweeping generalisation. My DD is a hugely confident and outgoing child. She is friendly and conversations around emotions are discussed regularly. She is already learning how to start self regulation. Books cover all of these themes in smaller chunks.

I will not give her anxiety by refusing to show a 3 year old a PG film.

I am more worried that people seem to feel films are that essential. Children can only learn these skills through experience and discussion with trusted carers.

Thank you.

In a different time or society a 3 year old would be going to the well, looking after younger siblings or preparing basic food. I'm not advocating this as good thing, but if we've got to the point as a society they're so coddled we won't let them watch Frozen then we're pretty much doomed.

I think that we are back to social stereotypes. I will say they are very persistent. I really tried not to pass on stereotypes but my DD is learning them none the less. All I seem to be managing is making her half girly girl / half mud covered tom boy depending on mood.

She has to learn what emotions are at some point watch it and explain it simply. “Elsa is sad because she accidentally hurt Anna” “Anna is sad because that boy was pretending to be her friend but he wasn’t really” etc

Ultimately you’re her parent so you know what’s best for her. I will say this quit a pointless thread “should I let my daughter watch this film” and then every response of yours is you arguing why you shouldn’t lol. Just don’t show it her if you don’t want!

On the one hand I think it’s fair because she has plenty of years ahead to get into movies. There is no “need” to start watching Disney or any movies or TV shows. Plus, the recommended ages of some movies are older than you’d think. I watched Moana with a 2.5yo and it had some intense scenes - Google said the recommended age is actually 6+.

On the other hand, lots of it will go over young kids’ heads. I find Disney movies much more intense and emotional and as an adult, but as a kid Mufasa’s death was really boring and Pinocchio (which I can’t even watch now because it’s too weird) was silly and exciting. But I think it depends on the personality of the child somewhat

I minimise princessyness TBH. I am working on the principal that banned things are enticing and she will know anyway so I don't ban entirely. There may be a number of feminist takes on fairy tales and princesses in her book collection though.

I did say in my OP that I was fairly set. I am replying to people because I thought that was the polite thing to do.

If you think you can put the questions off until she’s at least 4, then you’re in for a shock for what questions actually come up at 4.

Also, if she’s already asking why is Elsa sad because of one song, surely letting her watch the film will explain some of it. Currently you’re giving her snippets and then wondering why she’s asking so many questions.

I agree that a lot goes over most children's heads and I am by no means saying no pareshould allow it.

I think I expected that and was startled when a single song from the film produced days of conversations. I think that has encouraged me to take it slowly.

I can’t even remember the age mine were when they first watched Frozen on TV, but I did take them to the west end to watch the theatre show when they were 5 and 3 and they were in total awe throughout!
They didn’t have much screen time when young (and now as teens and pre teens still have far less than their peers, they don’t have their own ipads etc) but I actually preferred mine to watch a film than all of the short form, fast paced programmes that damage concentration.

This site is funny 🤣🤣

I think kids differ in their ability to understand and enjoy films at that age. My son couldn’t sit through or understand a feature length film until he was at least 5. But my daughter is 3 and loves films. We have a film together every Sunday and it’s great. She enjoys Frozen and I don’t think the story is particularly inappropriate for her age so I’d give it a go with yours.

I think the film itself answers a lot of those questions though. Hearing the song in isolation means that they don’t have the context to make sense of it.

Fair comment on she is only getting a snippet. I suppose that I feel there are A LOT of questions it will bring up. I also am uncomfortable with parental death as she lost a family member who lived with us. I don't want her to think that she might loose us in the same way.

Just to say that we don't shy away from questions. We explain everything she asks fully so we have cover many many big emotions. Obviously including death.

Often watching things via cartoons, or through books is a good way of helping children process those big feelings (including prompting questions) so if she has experienced a loss of someone close to her it could actually be very helpful.

Since you allow her to watch tv yabu purely to decided based on you thinking frozen is too much for her.
You can’t hide her away from intense topics like the parents dying, these sorts of storylines are in all fairytales and it’s perfectly normal for children to become exposed to things in age appropriate ways.
If you do some tv time but things like classic films (Bambi’s mum died, Pinocchio running away, sleeping beauty captured) are off the cards for years because of their plot she’s only going to be exposed to quite babyish stuff surely?