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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if I have left mentioning a third marriage too late?

403 replies

CosyPinkOtter · 31/07/2026 21:23

I turned 40 in June. Life hasn't exactly gone the way I imagined it would in terms of my relationships.

I've been married three times and have two children. One child is with my first husband and the other is with my second husband. It wasn't the future I pictured for myself, and there were some difficult years, but I left those marriages for my own reasons and I'm much happier now. These days we co-parent well and everyone gets on well enough, so there's no drama and my children get to spend time with both parents and aren’t missing out on time with their fathers.

I've been seeing someone for almost a year now. He's 43, married once, divorced himself and has two children, so he completely understands the co-parenting side of life. Things have been going really well and are starting to feel quite serious.

Here's the bit I'm wondering about.
He knows my children have different fathers. He knows I've been married before. What he doesn't know is that I've actually been married three times. All I’ve said is ‘I’ve been married before and my children have different fathers’ then we both started talking about our children.

It's not that I've deliberately lied or tried to hide it. It just...never really came up. Early on it didn't seem relevant, and then as more time passed it somehow became more awkward to mention. Every time I've thought about bringing it up I've worried it'll sound as though I've been keeping a secret.

I know I need to tell him, and I will. I'm just wondering whether I've made this into a much bigger issue by leaving it so long.

OP posts:
sparrowhawkhere · 05/08/2026 08:09

It’s interesting that due to your upbringing you knew you didn’t have to stick with anything like medicine or marriages. It’s good your parents were there for you but do you think they made it too easy for you to give up? I can’t imagine how I’d feel if my daughter had 2 failed Marriages, an expensive education that she nearly used on being a doctor but didn’t to then be told she was getting married and pregnant again.

You sound like you have a great set up now.

summersolsticesoon · 05/08/2026 08:52

I am glad things have worked out. You sound lovely OP.

BudgetBuster · 05/08/2026 09:37

sparrowhawkhere · 05/08/2026 08:09

It’s interesting that due to your upbringing you knew you didn’t have to stick with anything like medicine or marriages. It’s good your parents were there for you but do you think they made it too easy for you to give up? I can’t imagine how I’d feel if my daughter had 2 failed Marriages, an expensive education that she nearly used on being a doctor but didn’t to then be told she was getting married and pregnant again.

You sound like you have a great set up now.

Yep. Poor parents having to bail her out.

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