Would you leave 8/9 year olds at the cinema alone?

[Yougotthatvibe]

Took my Dc to the cinema the other day and saw a mum from my area, don’t really know her but have seen her on Sm. I know she works and travels a lot.
Sat down with Dc and her Dd and a friend went to sit down and mum then left.
Kids were laughing a lot, running up and down the stairs.
When we came out, the two girls were waiting by the entrance of the cinema and her Dd constantly calling her on her Apple watch thing.

It made me a bit uncomfortable but am I being overprotective? Cinema is in a large, indoor shopping type place.

Ok with this from about 12 and maybe a bit younger but my kids know how to behave

@Bitzee "It sounds like in this case though the girls are immature for their age "

No 8 year old on earth is mature.

No obviously they’re never going to be ‘mature’ at age 8/9 but at that age most kids would know that you sit in the seat quietly and watch the film, not dick about on the stairs and do cartwheels. Therefore I would say absolutely that these girls are immature for their age. I have a 9YO DD and feel pretty confident that if I left her with a friend in the cinema they’d just watch the film normally. Haven’t done it yet but would maybe consider it soon for the kids club (no adults allowed without kids) at our tiny local cinema where there bar is right outside the doors to the screens so would see them the second they came out.

It’s not immaturity that leads to this, it’s bad/lack of proper parenting.

Or a case of ADHD, hence the dumping of the child at the cinema so the mum can catch a break.
p.s. I would never do this.

No, the problem in that case is still the parenting, not the ADHD.

Yeah I think 10/11 plus is appropriate. But 8 or 9 is a bit young. And they obviously didn't behave!

Please go with your child, just wait outside, honestly anyone can sneak in or be in the cubicle. I wouldn’t risk it

Even 10-11 is a bit young!!!!!! I’m not sure what the cinemas policies is on this either?

Thanks for the unsolicited advice.

Sorry, there are so many awful stories, I really wouldn’t 😔

Then don't?

Everyone is going to make different risk judgements. I am sure there are things you'd let your DD do that I wouldn't let mine.

But you asked if it was weird that you wouldn't let your DD go to the toilet on her own at the cinema - several people (who you don't seem to have singled out to lecture) think it is a bit weird. I didn't actually ask your opinion on what I do...

Lazy parents will never stop to amaze me.

Most cinemas around me don't allow children to be left alone full stop anyway, but one chain seems happy for kids alone until 7pm.

You have to be a certain kind of CF who would just leave 8 or 9yo kids, but also their friends.

surely it also depends on the toilets?

There are 2 sets of loos in one of my local cinema. One with the entrance door opposite the bar area, . One down a set of stairs, along a corridor. It's all clean and bright, but it's completely isolated if no one is going at that time.

Not the same at all.

My parents didn't leave us alone but did fall asleep next to us at the cinema when we were 5 or 6!

Well, exactly there is a lot to a risk judgement.

There are definitely some toilets my kids wouldn't be going into on their own. But my local cinema's, at the sort of time of day we're there, it is fine for me.

I can’t understand why anybody would think an 8 year old should have a phone. Madness!

What did the staff do when you spoke to them about it?

I did this with my daughter when she was 9. They knew how to behave. I was nearby and she was told to text me when they were done, she knew not to leave the building til I got there. Realistically very little harm could have come to them, despite what people would like to believe there are not hoards of people hanging about, waiting to abduct children.

Just looking out for your Dd, I’m sorry 😔

The PP is looking out for their DD but giving them age-appropriate independence. Certainly by the age of 9 a child should be able to go to the toilet in a cinema without parental supervision.

They are able to, as in they’re independent enough, it’s not about that though, it’s the weirdos that may be around!

No is young. Yanbu.

I would say 8/9 is too young, for multiple reasons really.

My niece is 9 and would be the same as these girls, she needs to be reminded to sit quietly, watch the film, no constantly getting up & down, so her going without an adult would be disruptive for everyone else who have paid to see the film.

My godson is 8 and would be perfectly capable of just sitting sensibly and watching a film, he is a real stickler for rules and would be more likely to tell someone else off for being disruptive than be disruptive himself so in that sense he would be absolutely fine to sit in a cinema without an adult, he wouldn’t cause any issues or be a bother to anyone. BUT, and it’s a big but, do I think he would be happy to get himself out safely if the fire alarm or something went off without getting stressed, leave the building on his own etc- no.

I've let my just turned 8 year old go to the loo in the cinema before - he's a boy so I can't go in the toilet with him anyway, so what else can I do? I wouldn't let his 5 year old brother go on his own, of course, but would leave DS1 in the cinema alone while I took his brother to the ladies - again, DS1 can't come in, so would people really drag him out of the film to stand in the corridor outside the ladies? I feel like it's a lot easier to say you'd never let your 8 year old go to the toilet alone if you have one girl!

Same. Despite the OP assuming I have a DD, I have sons. You sort of have to get over it if you have multiple children, especially if they are boys.

I still notice that despite quite a few people saying they let their children go to the toilet alone, only I have had the patronising pleas and finger wagging from the OP about the den of vice that is the suburban cinema at the 10am Toy Story screening. I don't really understand why I have been singled out for it but thanks for the apology OP, I hope you will be a bit less of a patronising sod in the future