Would you leave 8/9 year olds at the cinema alone?

[Yougotthatvibe]

Took my Dc to the cinema the other day and saw a mum from my area, don’t really know her but have seen her on Sm. I know she works and travels a lot.
Sat down with Dc and her Dd and a friend went to sit down and mum then left.
Kids were laughing a lot, running up and down the stairs.
When we came out, the two girls were waiting by the entrance of the cinema and her Dd constantly calling her on her Apple watch thing.

It made me a bit uncomfortable but am I being overprotective? Cinema is in a large, indoor shopping type place.

100%! Anyone could follow them in etc

No. It's completely unsafe.

I left dd at the movies with a friend for her 10th birthday, this was 15 odd years ago though and a smaller local cinema. I was totally comfortable with it.

I brought ds (12) and 2 of his friends (also 12) to the cinema today. It was a 12A movie.

I had no interest in seeing the movie. I did ask if they could be left unaccompanied and I don't think it would have been an issue...but I didn't feel comfortable leaving them to their own devices for that long.

The bigger risk maybe was when they went to the toilet...I obviously couldn't go into the men's with them, or bring them to the ladies.

Interesting to read the different opinions here. I'm not really worried about a terror attack but didn't feel right just leaving them and waiting outside in the car.

I'm in Ireland so these kids have just finished primary school.

I read that as surely that's even more reason to want to actually spend time with her DC, when she's not working or travelling, rather than the dump and run scenario she chose.

I left them from 10 but I would bring then through with tickets, walk them to their seats and then leave when everyone was settled, I'd be nearby. Before I did this we went a few times where I stayed but sat separate and ignored them so they were used to managing themselves. I'd just accompany them to the toilets. If they had been over and back or fussing id take that to mean they werent ready to be left. At 10 if they are competent to be left alone and if it's a cinema they are familiar with I don't think I'd worry about the toilets.

No. I'm surprised the cinema would sell tickets for young children not accompanied by an adult actually.

I did at 10-11

From the age of about 7 I'd occasionally leave my eldest for 5 minutes to take his toilet training sister to the loo. I've had to stop taking them without a second adult as the isn't happy being left for toilet breaks now at 8.5 and she always has to pee a fair bit.

I can't imagine thinking I could just drop him and go

God no, the potential for them to get giddy and annoy other people is too high. Fine to sit a few rows back from them but definitely to keep an eye on them. Never mind the other points of evacuation and other risks mentioned by other posters.

I find it utterly bizarre that any parent would think it's safe or appropriate to do this.
And surprised that any cinema allows it.

Apart from.the safety aspect of if there is fire or similar and the fact they might be frightened at some point of the film or something on screen, or feel ill, there is very much the possibility of stranger danger.

Quite common in the city local to me for supermarkets to advise parents not to allow their children to go unaccompanied to the toilets because of incidents of children being approached or attacked by perverts. And football grounds generally don't allow children in unless accompanied by an adult. Why on earth does the cinema allow this?

Yup. 8-9 is too young for a terror attack.

Maybe 9-11.

I didnt even let my kids play out front on my house till they were 10 and even then they don't go far. 8/9 is far too young to be left alone, i hate leaving my eldest on his own and he's 13

I was thinking this too. Entire cinema full of children watching a film, not an adult to be seen except the ushers Was definitely primary school age . My mum was there to meet us after though

Well at 8-9 most children would behave better than what you are describing OP. And I’ve experienced that sort of behaviour from 5-6 year olds even when the parents have been there.

I used to work in a cinema and it was extremely common for children of that age to be left alone. I remember once a woman calling me to complain that we’d “allowed” her child to watch a movie that she didn’t approve of. It was not an age restricted movie and I was like “no love, you allowed your child to watch that movie!”

I find these threads so so sad. I know of course there are some dangers and things weren't safe in the 80s on Saturday cinema mornings and noone wants to be the parents who do this if something happens and you can't turn the clock back - yada yada.

I don't exclude myself from this, I'd never have left DS at the cinema like this at 9 and that was over 10 years ago but no wonder so many young people are so unhappy and have so many difficulties managing the normal problems of life and so many anxieties.

Cue lots of posters saying their children are happy independent teens/young adults etc and all the coddling,loving protection never did them any harm and at least they are alive and were never subjected to the miniscule risk of dealing with a terrorist attack alone in that particular cinema at that time or from stranger danger etc.

But come on, I mean bloody hell what have we done to ourselves as a society to have so failed our young people in helping them prepare to be functioning independent adults?

It should be fun for the childen to do this maybe slightly worrying for some more anxious ones but worry and excitement often feel very similar and the opportunity to understand that is valuable for a child. Doing something without a parent should help a child feel more powerful and capable afterwards.

I have no idea if the mother was being a good parent in this scenario. Not answering the phone or being there after the film finished feels like something in the plan went wrong or maybe she was not parenting well at that point. I dont however believe the act of leaving the children there was poor parenting on its own, not without more context.

In the absence any SEN, it should be fine to leave most 9/10 year olds and even some 8 olds with friends to watch a 2 hr film in a cimema while the parent waits in another part of the building or even god fobid in a coffee shop/ bar across the road or next door. Especially now we have phones!

All the outlandish incredibly small risks listed by people on this thread are an indication of how anxious we are as adults too..

I dont blame individuals , I really don't but what a pickle we are in

The difference was that the local cinema is not an out of town multiplex for starters.

But the 1980s was not a halcyon time for parenting, a lot of kids were feral, neglected and allowed to do things that were unsafe for them or others.

And my parents wouldn't have let me go to the cinema on my own when I was eight or nine and I was eight in 1983.

first year of secondary we let ours do this. It’s unfair to others who have paid if they mess about which is very likely, and also if they need the loo for example I would feel very uncomfortable with public toilets for kids that age with no adult looking out for them. So no, for safety and decency to others I would not do this. It’s unfair to the other adults in the cinema and cinema workers to put the responsibility of two kids on them, which essentially is what is happening if you leave two kids unattended in the cinema. Something as simple as them tripping down the stairs in the dark, if they fell who is there to help them.

Maybe the fact that ushers used to stay in the screening room is a key difference though.

The fact her children were behaving like rascals means that they were far too young to be there alone.

You should inform mother of how disruptive her children were during the film, but then change the topic to something positive about the film storyline etc.

I actually find this crazy, 12 is secondary age! Will he be 16 before being allowed to watch a film without being chaperoned?

DS is 8 later this year and no way would I leave him, he would definitely be silly with friends.
I think around 10/11 once they're at or approaching secondary school, at that age they're getting busses and tubes to and from school alone so it's nonsensical to not allow them to sit and watch a film

Absolutely not!

I wouldn't leave kids of that age full stop.

That's negligent!

In that situation I would've gone out and told staff too, so that they warned the kids to sit down and behave, or face a ban.

Definitely lazy shitty parenting!