WIBU to shut the door?

[JakeyRolling]

Out and about with DC8 who is doubly incontinent due to disability but otherwise “looks” normal and is ambulatory.

As such we have a radar key.

Today we happened to be able to access a Changing Places toilet while out and about.

For those who don’t know these are larger than a standard disabled toilet and have additional facilities such as a changing bed and hoist.

We use them as DC is too big for the baby changing tables.

As we came out some women who obviously didn’t want to wait in the queue that was snaking past the Changing Places facility tried to grab the door to hold it open.

I firmly shut it and told them “you need a key to access it”, and got abuse for it.

My reasoning is that if every man and his dog Is given access to the disabled toilets, then they are not available when disabled people need them and they also become filthy.

If she had been disabled herself, she would’ve had a radar key.

My point was given how uncommon such toilets are doesn't it make complete sense not to let just anybody use them. If they are used by just those who need these facilities they are less likely to be damaged or broken which would then limit the ability of those who need them the most to go out and about as freely.

This women clearly did not need the use of the changing places facility and that is why she was rude to the OP.

Well, yes. There are issues with changing places toilets being destroyed or vandalised. And they cost minimum of 10 or 15 grand to have installed and sorted out. Often when they are vandalised, they are out of action for a very long time. This is a real issue as there aren’t many changing places toilets. There are loads of disabled toilets though. So that woman, who clearly did not require a changing places toilet, can use a disabled toilet if she needs it or wait for the woman’s loo to be free.

Letting anyone in to use changing places toilets increases the wear and tear and the risk that they will vandalise a resource which is rarely available and expensive.

You did the right thing. Funny I was thinking about this last week. I was in the queue for the ladies’ and there were a few in front of me, the two just ahead of my were with a friend who used her radar key. She came out and her two friends were still waiting, so she held the door for one and when she came out the third went in. I heard radar key holder say she had a weak bladder. I mean, I went forward by two places so you could say result, but it seemed all wrong for someone who needed a toilet quickly to then hold it up by letting both her friends go.

they cost £5 on ebay.

You can't know why people use the lift purely from looking at them.

The radar keys can be purchased for a fiver.

I’m disabled and sometimes I forget my radar key.

people are usually happy to let me into the disabled toilet though because I use a wheelchair (and look obviously disabled).

I wouldn’t have shut the door on her.

There are people in this world that would take great delight in damaging the equipment.

If she didn't have a key then she wouldn't have been able to lock it again after she'd used it which would mean it was then available for all and sundry to use.
Changing Places are long fought and hard won. They are purpose built for people who cannot possibly use standard disabled toilets. They absolutely should not be used by others who can use ordinary toilets just because there's a queue.
You did the right thing in locking the door behind you.

It’s a really difficult one! My Mum has IBS but would never think to get a radar key as hers is sporadic and if she’s having a flare she would stay home but if it flared while she was out when she’s gotta go she’s gotta go! This lady could also have had a hidden disability like your child but she doesn’t know about the scheme so it would have been kind to leave it open for her however she could also just have been a chancer and the door would have them keep being left open for others to use and then it’s not free for a genuine need.

when my DS was little and we were out and about I needed to change him. I took him to the public loos at the park. All the cubicles bar the one that had a disabled and changing sign on it were tiny and I wouldn’t have been able to change him there. I waited outside the one with the changing sign as someone was in it (I didn’t realise you needed a specific key at this point) and the lady that came out was really rude to me for trying to go in and shut the door. I thought it was really mean of her and couldn’t ever picture myself begrudging a baby an appropriate space to get changed.

We don’t have a radar key. Despite any disabilities we have, I don’t know how to go about getting a bloody blue badge much less a radar key - we need one, but where do you go to get them??

People think they have a right to everything. Good you didn’t hold it open, it’s for the people who need it x

https://shop.disabilityrightsuk.org/products/radar-key

https://www.bluebadgecompany.co.uk/collections/radar-keys-and-keyrings?srsltid=AfmBOopX0T8rMF_XWn8z-2yZ3Pp-ppx-fT3-PEC4bnc2P1gZ0YxivgrO

Or some local councils give them free

There isn’t anything clear about her entitlement to use the toilet or not.
Many people wrongly denied access to a place they are entitled to access react rudely when under stress. Urgent toileting needs in public is invariably reported as highly stressful and can cause strong emotions and words to follow.

But they are few and far between. Probability wise it is far more likely the woman had a genuine need for the toilet rather than an opportunistic vandal or high end toileting equipment theif.

YABU. You're not the toilet police.

We don’t know if she required a changing places toilet or not.

Walking isn’t a clue because everyone with a stoma bag is supposed to use a changing places toilet because it has the hooks, hangers, mirrors, space and hygiene facilities for stoma bag users.

Then she’d have her own key and she wouldn’t have been in the queue for the ladies loos. At the very least, she’d have been going to the disabled toilets.

This was not someone who needed a very specialised and expensive room.

Nasty!

I’ve got a bowel issue, sometimes I have to go immediately. I sometimes go in the disabled toilet so I don’t shit myself in public.

I agree with this.

Anyone can buy a radar key on Amazon

im not saying they should but it is what it is.

The thing is that you don't know whether this woman may suffer from IBS (D) and was really desperate for the loo and just couldn't wait in the normal queue. Believe me, if you don't have this condition, you cannot know just how desperate you are to find a loo!

Im disabled and dont have a radar key. Plus anyone can buy one of Amazon.