AIBU to think low-paid mums are less likely to return?

[Daydreamxdelight]

Hello

I was discussing this with a friend today who said i was wrong.

Now, before anyone says... no I dont speak for the whole population and I am not saying this applies to every mother / parent who didnt return to work after maternity leave.

So after asking how my friends friend is (she gave birth 7 months) my friend started telling me that this woman isnt returning to work as she has worked out she could get xyz in benefits / support and it works out roughly as her current wage.

I said, fair enough, why would you return if that was the case. I then said based on my own experience of family, friends and mums I know from my maternity leave, it is those in low pay / low skilled jobs who dont return to work. This is mainly because, 1) benefits tend to work out near enough the same as their pay, and 2) they work in low skilled jobs so they can easily pick up any job they so wish when they return. Ie stacking shelves, admin.

My friend was most offended. But this has been my experience.

What do u think?

I agree. If you're working in a low paid job, possibly with few prospects, it doesn't make sense to pay for childcare.

This is why I always advocate for women to build their career before having children.

You can't get benefits if you resign from your job. I wanted to when I had a toddler and a baby as a lone parent but my tax credits would have stopped. Ironically I got more in benefits by working but at least I have a small pension.

It’s not just that. It’s that these jobs tend to be harder to do after children. I worked in a shop prior to maternity leave. The shifts were 7.30-3.30 or 10.30- 7.30pm. No chance of any different shifts as the shop ran on skeleton staff so there would be no one to open up or close the shop if I worked say 9-5. Funnily businesses do not completely change their opening times when one member of staff has a baby.
People faced the same problems when I worked in catering. Most work is shifts, weekends, evenings when there’s no childcare available.
Don’t put the blame solely on the workers, it’s our country which makes childcare for shift work so impossible.
Also, physically after having a baby who didn’t sleep, I was exhausted. Being on my feet all day, such as shop work or care work, is much worse than only having to sit infront of your laptop in your front room or kitchen table. I’ve done both types of work and I could 100% pull myself together enough to do a desk job rather than stack shelves and deal with the general public on two hours sleep with leaking breasts. I used to pump sitting on crates of chickpeas!

I honestly can’t see what your friend finds offensive about that.

If you’re low paid, then once you pay for childcare (even with the free hours) it could easily not be seen as worth it if your total household disposable income is going to decrease by you going back to work.

@Dontgetstuckinthepastyou don’t have to look for work until your baby is three with UC.

Most low paid jobs aren’t regular hours, you get a weekly rota a few days before so childcare is impossible.

You would have got universal credit

Have you had a professional desk job or admin based email one?
professional is so much harder in my view when tired as the thinking and concentration required isn’t do-able with a baby brain.

But if I didnt go back to work I wouldnt qualify for help as my partner is a high earner. Also, I would struggle getting back to the level I am now. Which I worked.bloody hard for at university then working my way up.
Stack one shelf, u can stack em all.

If they're single mums or with a partner who's income wouldn't go over the benefits threshold, it's unlikely that they would be better off on benefits as there's a good chance they'd be eligible for in work benefits, including help towards childcare.
I agree with the poster above about shift work being a bigger factor. Most low paid jobs care/retail/hospitality are shifts over 7 days. Finding weekend and evening childcare in almost impossible in some areas, particularly for low income families who couldn't afford a nanny.

Exactly. I work in legal. I go to work exhausted at times. I remember working in retail when I was a student and severely hungover. It was a breeze.

I agree with nursery being so expensive, and in fact my work promoted before my first maternity leave and I will admit that the £12K pay rise definitely made it more attractive for me to go back.

As I say to anyone, why not swap then? You could give up your job, you could split with your partner, you could go on the social housing list, you could claim universal credit. You’d have loads of time with your children… but that’s not what you want is it?

But why isn't this factored in before having a child? Why is giving up work the default? Its lucky some of us still go to work to pay into the pot.

I wasn't low paid but had two children close together. So it was a given that I wouldn't return to work until they were both settled in school full time. Was hard financially for a few years but I don't regret it.

Why? Why didnt u go back? Were u able to step back into a similar role??

I was coming on to say the same thing

retail etc is a nightmare

I’m a team leader in the nhs and a lot of the Lower paid staff do not return after maternity leave because it’s not worth it. Even with funded hours it doesn’t cover everything as the 30hrs per week if spread over 52 weeks as opposed to term time only covers about 2 days of childcare anyway so they’d have to fund the rest and on a low salary it’s not worth it.

But is it fair that those workers then don't return and claim? Which us being paid for by working mums? Who made a choice to return?

With respect, we need all kinds of workers in this world. My role, which is ‘professional role’ and requires a postgraduate degree, would be completely irrelevant, pointless and impossible without minimum wage workers in low paid, shift work positions. They work in backbreaking, mentally draining roles, whilst I sit in teams meetings or funding panels all day. I would never dare to criticise women for not wanting to return to these roles after having children.

I see why your friend was offended. You're not really interested in the topic, you just want an opportunity to judge parents who claim benefits.

It isnt fair.

The problem is the claim that they can just get benefits instead. It makes it sound like a right wing trope.

low paid women do have fewer incentives to return. There’s less career progression, there’s shift work issues, and there’s the fact that they net so little after child care is paid for. The latter two are things we could work on but don’t.

ideally women would build a career first. But the reality of the economy is that some people are not going to progress. It’s not because they are lazy or stupid. It’s simple numbers.

OP, I don’t know why you’re getting so angry. It’s a physical impossibility for many women to afford childcare. Why would you if you were going to lose money? There’s your answer. Plus shift work. Plus things like working class women not always being drivers, I mean, it’s difficult enough going back to work let alone taking a baby on a bus, getting off at nursery, then getting back on to go to work. I see women do it in my city, but I understand why they don’t.

Yes combination of low wages making paying for childcare seem pointless, awkward shifts that don’t really work with paid childcare options anyway, work being harder and more physically demanding and no ‘career damage’ by taking longer out. Can totally understand why.

I mean I went back to work myself after all 3 but it’s like anything, it’s individual choice what people choose to do isn’t it?

in terms of if being fair - it’s not the fault of the people choosing not to return - it’s the system - if people have the ability to claim benefits as opposed to working as they’ll be better off then the fault lies with the system not the people.