Is this a ‘Soft life’

[Wellthatwasabrupt]

And would you want it?

Has Dh, one young Dc and dogs, lives overseas by the beach and countryside, nice house with pool and sea views.
Works 6 hours per week from home. Does all drop offs and pick ups, food shop, dinners, majority to do with Dc and sorting bills. Has a cleaner.
Dh works Mon-Fri -finishes 4.30, no one works weekends.
Days are free based around Dc school drops, coffee with friends, Pilates, yoga, studying or reading if you like, watching Netflix all day if you like, shopping, beach, pool, garden

Would you call this a soft life? Would you like it, be honest?

She's not exactly a lady of leisure. She's a SAHM who does the majority of the housework and childcare rearing. I wouldn't mind it. I'd get rid of the dogs, they're alot of work. We're cat people.

She has a pool and a cleaner. Lots of families have a cleaner, it's not like having a house keeper or a nanny, they make a limited difference. Pools are nice but create a lot more work, especially with kids and animals.

No, not a soft life, but not a terribly difficult one if DC is relatively well behaved, NT, without health problems, and DH is kind and loving.

Sounds okay for a while but then I would 100% be bored. I like having a work life, having my own money, paying my own pension. I work 4 dyas a week. 35 hours and I look forward to my day off but if I was on my own a lot I'd be a bit meh.

I didn’t know it was called ‘soft life’ but you’ve just described my life, however I work 10 hours per week and live in a lovely suburb of London not abroad and have 2 kids.

i love my life. My job pays very well but my husband earns our main salary. House is in joint names and feel financially very secure.

i do all the exercise things you mention and have studied and continue to study/train. However, it’s not enough for me. I volunteer lots of my time for a local charity which I love and often help out friends/family with childcare and odd bits. Each to their own but my brain needs to be occupied and my body likes to be busy!

Do so many people not have hobbies that they can’t envision a life without work? If I was independently financially secure I would love this. I was more productive and healthy during lockdown than I’ve ever been. I baked, I cooked proper meals, I walked, I exercised, I knitted, sewed, read, embroidered. I was happy and fulfilled with this life.

Sounds pretty good but I'd want more kids. I'm a SAHM, we have a cleaner, DH works standard office hours mostly from home. We're having our third shortly, I don't feel at all bored, or lacking in direction/focus and things to talk about.

This is definitely the husband, who is wondering why his trailing spouse is discontented with her 'soft life'.

Sounds grand to me.

And

This sounds like a very easy life indeed .
I know someone who has an even easier life than that ..she doesn’t even have her older kids at home because one is a weekly boarder and the other is gone most of term time at a different school.
Most people I know have a window cleaner but she also has a gardener , a housekeeper who comes frequently , and a handyman .
She isn’t out at work either but does on occasion help a friend with her small shop ,
Despite not earning she doesn’t skimp on spending , just buys whatever she wants and has regular days out and holidays.
My life is very different!!!

As some pp have alluded to, I think a lot depends on whether this person has chosen this life

Some people would love this life, others would rather be busier and working lots more as this thread have shown. If you’re one type and “trapped” in the other kind of life then you’re not going to enjoy it no matter if others might see it as ideal.

Sounds like my ideal perfect life, after bringing up 3 children and having health issues I’m exhausted and hate working. Being able to slow down and focus on family, dogs and my health would be bliss

I have never heard the phrase soft life?

do you mean happy life? It all depends on the person. Do you mean easy life? Again depends. Could be very hard for some and idyllic for others.

confortae financially yes, time rich yes, good environment yes. Ticks a lot of boxes

I think I'd be bored after a week.

I enjoy working, challenges and interacting with lots of different people and rushing around - the push and pull of life.

That life seems unproductive, self indulgence and a bit like the lives of women like Millie Mackintosh & Louise Thompson, both of which suffer from mental health issues, have admitted to having been alcoholics, spend too much time on themselves and self obsessing about themselves and lead rather pointless lives.

I don't mind a week of this on holiday (although I do a lot of sight seeing, museums & galleries) but as a lifestyle it would do my head in.

Well I guess it is a soft life compared to a hard life.

One aspect of hard lives is limited choices and time, especially lack of choice when it comes to earning money and having to spend so much time earning money there is limited time to enjoy life when you aren't too tired from all that money earning.

It seems to me the person you are referring to (and her husband) put in a lot of work to now be in the position to be able to choose how they live their lives. That is smart, not soft.

Interesting theory! The tone doesn't sound like the typical mumsnet man though, he hasn't told anyone off or ranted about women in general

Sounds lovely as a temporary thing. Like a year out or something. As a permanent set up, no thanks. Us people need to expand constantly and meaningfully. Stagnation us not what we're built for. Imo.

Yes please!

If you are happy with your life OP, why do you need validation from this post? You have come back with justifications when anyone has expressed a view they they would be bored, but you asked for their personal view on it 🤷🏻‍♀️

(BTW I would get bored/struggle with a lack of purpose. Free time for me is enjoyable because it’s a change, and so you do something to make the most of it)

What are you really trying to ask us?

Sounds lovely!

bored, really? Wouldn’t you find a hobby or something?

Yes it's soft (whatever that means).

Is that what you want to know? But as to whether it's fulfilling, only she/you can decide that. I don't equate soft with unfulfilling necessarily. I personally want to live a fulfilling life. My fulfilling might not be the same as hers/yours.

Barely any posts on Sm, years ago when most people did, not anymore

Aside from the children, it sounds like life in retirement. Filling your time with Pilates classes, reading and watching Netflix.

The difference is in retirement the 'soft life' matches your energy levels as they decrease with age.

But they work and study a language and for a further degree and raise a Dc, why would there need to be more to be fulfilled? Not everyone does