AIBU to buy a cabin bed to encourage my son back?

[neighbourr]

Really struggling for bed ideas for my 7 year old. I’m embarrassed to say he still sleeps in our room. To entice him back in his room I’m thinking of buying him a mid sleeper or cabin bed I think they’re called. He currently has a small single bed in his room, it’s a cheap ikea one. What are your thoughts?

Also room is small.

Ask him how he wants his room would be the best bet.

Also make sure sleeping in your room is totally boring.

Hopefully you’re not going to bed just because he is, stay up enjoy your tv while he just sleeps in the empty bed.

I’d let him help design the whole room to get excited and then move him in

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about!

Why a cabin bed? Is that exciting for him?
What would he like?

A car shaped bed, dinosaur lamp, new 'special' quilt cover of his choice? What is the appeal of your room? What about those little, glow-in-the-dark stars for his bedroom ceiling?

Ask him what he wants before you buy it. Get him to try some out in ikea. My Dc had one with a canopy over and a tent underneath but hated it. At that age I’d just ask for ideas about how he wants his room to look. If you can’t afford to redecorate maybe a new duvet, some posters of his favourite characters or sports etc

I think at age 7 he'll won't be wanting to use cabin bed for all that long. My 10 year old wanted his down about 2 years ago. But every child different.

Oh and mine also came in to our bed every single night for what felt like forever and then one day we noticed that he had stopped. It is probably totally irritating now but honestly you will look back with fond memories of the closeness of it all.

Definitely worth trying this.

I had a cabin bed till I was 16, I loved it 😂 just another opinion haha

What time does he go to bed right now? I’d be tempted to say he can stay up a little longer in a new room. Also, co-creating the room is a must, as other have said. Wallpaper, bed, desk, all up for discussion. Good luck!

If you think he might soon outgrow a cabin bed, get one that can convert. Ours were from Flexa, I think. We have had them as stand-alone singles, right angle bunks, cabin-height single and mid-height single. You can have storage units under the cabin-height single, and the mid-height single can also be a play space. You can dress up the space. We called it The Cave and tied sparkly sarongs around it when ds and dd shared a room.

Ten years later then-16yo dd asked to swap her divan bed for a mid-height sleeper. Fortunately the conversion kit was in the loft. She is back from uni and is storing her uni stuff in the cave. She still likes sleeping high up. The only drawback is that elderly MrCat can no longer get up there.

Keep the single bed but ask him how he'd like the room decorated.

I had to be really strict to get my son to stop sleeping in my bed. I made sure I built up to it by saying that on xx day in two weeks time that will be your last night in mum’s bed. We talked about it a lot and he had a new duvet etc. I encouraged him to play in his room a bit more after school, rather than in the living room (he was 6 to clarify)

When the big night came, he cried all night and kept coming into my bed. I knew I had to be strong and just kept putting him back. Night two was similar although he finally went to sleep about 2am. Night three, he slept through 🤷‍♀️ He never slept in my bed again.

I loved my cabin bed. It broke when I was 17. I had a small room so the narrow bed was great. My parents even managed to get a really nice mattress for it. My brother had his until he left home properly at 25.

Thank you so much for the suggestions everyone. His room is decorated already how he wanted it - all dinosaurs! He keeps telling me if he had a bigger bed he will definitely move out to his room. He wants a mid sleeper so a ladder going up and a table coming out. They’re so expensive tho. The one he likes is £749 from either dreams or bed kingdom I don’t remember. It doesn’t even include the assembly! I phoned up one guy to ask how much he would charge and he told me for a cabin bed with storage and ladder it’s £250!

where can I buy a cheap cabin/mud sleeper from?

Facebook marketplace

Facebook marketplace! I got my 6yos for £25

Has he ever slept in one of these before. Why is he going to be happy sleeping in one of these by himself when he won’t sleep in his current bed?

I wouldn't, OP. Chances are it will be an expensive white elephant.

Try ikea

I’m 55 and have just bought myself an ‘adult’ cabin bed. I hated the ‘big’ bed and wanted a cosy nest just for me after years of discomfort, grief and insomnia. I absolutely love it.

If I was a seven year old I think I would love it then too.

once he's got his bed, it'll just be something else.

he isn't sleeping with you because his bed is too close to the floor

you either need to work out what the issue is and dela with it, or be firm and put him back into his room every night or wait for him to decide himself

I have twin sons and they both sleep in my bed every night. They of course have their own bed (bunk beds) and lovely stuff in their room, including a TV with Disney+ and sky kids to watch for half hour/an hour before bed on a weekend, but they still prefer to be next to me. I’m not embarrassed by it at all though. In some European countries, family sleeping is the norm, kids aged up to 10 and the parents sleep in the same room. I know that’s irrelevant, as we’re not in those countries, but it’s just a different perspective. 7 is still very little still, really. One day your son will stop needing you so much and won’t want your company/comfort every night, in his own time. But, if you really are adamant you don’t want him in your bed then I’d ask him to help you design his room. Look at some designs on Pinterest, ask him what colours he would love and get him involved and perhaps he will be excited about it all and finally feel ready to sleep independently in his own room.
Another thing that I’ve seen as a suggestion in the past, was getting a pet (a dog or cat, if you don’t already) and allowing them to sleep in with the kids, even if it’s on the floor in their own bed. It just gives them the peace of mind that they’re not alone and have some form of company. I dont know how you feel about that (not everyone is a pet person and certainly not everyone is a ‘pets are allowed in bedrooms’ person) but it’s worth noting.

We got DS a mid-sleeper slide bed from Argos for about £200. He adores it but you do need floor space for the slide to stick out into the room so it doesn’t work for small rooms. Also it’s self assembly. You could get someone to build the bed for you on Taskrabbit or similar and I bet it would be cheaper than the assembly that Dreams quoted you. That would give you a lot of flatpacked options to consider.

I could have written this post! At age 8 my DS was going to sleep in his room, but getting up every night and getting into my bed. Tried every "back to bed" technique going. Put him in a double bed so it was similar to mine, didn't work. I then did get him a mid sleeper, and it was a game changer. I don't know if it's the extra effort to climb down the ladder, but he's come through to my room literally a couple of times in the last 2 years. I got his bed from Bed Kingdom https://www.bedkingdom.co.uk/childrens-beds/cabin-beds.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=1726790803&utm_adgroup=66596944734&utm_device=m&utm_term=bed%20kingdom&gclid=Cj0KCQjwg5zTBhCLARIsAP2AFU7w7mWEOSPmeRbXM3h-DvOe61nlJNzIRntN6TUK4mEOtEjpjli9qx4aAhGSEALw_wcB&gad_source=1

My daughter co-slept with me until she was ten. Always had her own room and fancy beds. She stopped naturally.