AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

[sweeel]

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

I must say I've never worried about mine at that age when picking them up from a friend, cinema or work. What is there to worry about?

If I may say, with the greatest respect, you are talking absolute bollards.

Yep I don't mind that. She has taken taxis before I know it's fine but if im available and fine to get her then I'll be collecting her if she asks. Obviously sometimes I'm not and then she takes the bus

Ugh too real, I never got lifts after 7pm as a teen cos my parents would have the wine out.

I used to stay out all night at 17 🤣
I also used to work part time in a restaurant and wouldn’t finish until gone 1/2am at the age.

This is why the young people of today lack resilience. They aren’t given any independence.

Ridiculous that you are the slightest bit bothered by this.

Most 17 year olds I know are partying in Magaluf on holiday without parents. And the 16 year olds are off camping at the Reading Festival next month. I’m sure your DD will be fine at the local cinema.

I don't necessarily think it is. She's just asking what is normal/acceptable and wanting to gauge it as he daughter has only gone to friends houses before now....and like OP said, she's cool with it now. She was just looking for advice...

It's not purely her decision if the OP has to collect her!

My parents didn't drive. This concept of parents playing taxi to their kids at all hours is alien to me. I'd do it if I could myself, when the time comes, but if I can't it's tough. Growing up myself, it just wasn't possible to say "hey mum, can you pick me up at midnight?"

I don't think it's wrong for parents to not want to be ferrying their kids around at all hours if they don't want to, whatever the reason (had a drink, younger kids in bed already, need to be up early for work in the morning etc). If you're old enough to be out late without your parents, you're old enough to get a taxi home or arrange to stay with a friend.

If its a one off I would.collect her as close to the cinema door as possible. Every parent is different but Id feel worried so that would be my compromise and i'd drop friend off too.

Maybe make it into a memory, get a drive though as a midnight snack for everyone or just for you and daughter once friend dropped off. Be nice for you and Dd to have that time together, yes a late night for you all but can make the best of it.

But probs one of the last memories you can make before adulthood commences where you can be involved in her life, im sure soon she'll be out doing her own thing or away at uni and you wont have the chance to do something like this.

In years to come..."Remember we got a midnight drive though when you picked me up from spiderman Mum - yes DD I was a bit worried so wanted to be your taxi service 😅!"

If its not every week I'd go get her and her friend x

This reminds me of a time my friend and I convinced her mum (I was staying at hers) to drop us off at the cinema to watch a crap film
called ‘Dave’ or something 🤣
We obviously weren’t watching that and went to a shit club nearby. I remember trying to avoid a running commentary about what the film was about on the way home
Not saying your Dd is doing that, but we were around 15…by 17 I think my Dm just had to let go completely really

The OP doesn’t have to collect her though. She’s 17 not 7.

Yep I relate too, my mother would be gone by 6 and it resulted in me getting lifts from all sorts of usually strange men. Something I will never do as a parent.

She can join the army so yep let her

Can she not get a cab home afterwards?

I was out clubbing in nearby cities until much later than that at 17, and yes holidaying in Magaluf like a PP said! That said, what we got up to and the risks we took were definitely not what you would want a teenage daughter to be doing!

…quite the accusation.

Don’t be ridiculous

Dave, with Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver? That's actually a great film.

I cannot believe what I’ve just read. She is 17. Jesus Christ.

Get used to being the late night taxi service OP!

Just get her to wait inside - or make sure you are a little early and can catch her coming out. It's all character building for them - and she will need to do things independently at some stage.

@sweeel I was wondering if you had made a typo and intended to write "7" instead of "17."

It would be normal for 18 year olds to run around the city centre shit-faced at 2 am, so I'm bemused at the idea of a trip to the cinema being too much for a 17 year old.

What??

Surely this post makes a nonsense of your entire thread then?

She’s 17. I’d have laughed in my mothers face if she’d stopped me doing this.

Yes I think so 😂 not so great as a teen though…how they even believed we wanted to see it and dressed the way we were