AIBU to not let my 17 year old daughter go to the cinema at this time?

[sweeel]

Basically, my 17 year old daughter wants to go to watch the new Spider-Man movie at 845pm this Wednesday, and she's going to the town about a thirty minute drive from us because that's where her friend is (and this is a town we are very familiar with etc. we used to live here but it's still obviously not super near as a local cinema).

She'll reach there by about 730 and hang out with her friend for a bit till the movie but the movie is about 2 hours 20 mins + adverts so I don't think it'll be finished till close to 12am. Then I have to go and collect her and I'm really worried about her safety of being out so late at night and I feel like I shouldn't allow her to go because it's so late and it will be dark by that time obviously even though it's summer...

She booked this time because all the other times were sold out and she wanted to see it specifically on opening night but I'm having serious doubts.

She wouldnt be struggling it is you that seems to be she is 17 not 7

I was brought up strictly and "safely" and I went crazy when I got to uni. My first term was basically a non stop party. By the summer I'd dropped out having failed my exams and met an unsuitable boyfriend. I try to let my kids do things so it's not a novelty to them being able to and so their world is as big and exciting as possible while they are young and free to enjoy it.

Mine were going into the city aged 14….they got a taxi home...I was at 10 and walked the hour and a half home . You have to let them grow up. Parents job is to teach confidence and independence . Not baby them

YABU
but it is understandable if this is the first time she has asked to be out this late. I understand your caution, but she is 17.
When my daughter was 16/17, I was nearly always the taxi. I knew i would not sleep until she was in, so I figured I might as well be the taxi, unless of course she was stopping over at friends.
Sorry, it'll get harder for you if she goes to uni. You need to take this time to get used to the independent person she is becoming and learn to accept that you won't always have the control you had 10 yrs ago.

I would worry about any female walking home late at night but you are going to pick her up so there is no.issue there. It will be early and still light when she gets there and the cinema will be safe so I think it's time to let her have her independence.

Actually I found the first 6 months they were driving more stressful than before they could

She’s 17. Let her go. If you can’t collect her, and you’re worried, then she needs to call a reputable cab firm to get her home.

How exactly have " times changed".

Apart from the fact technology has made things much easier. No need to be lost when maps and Uber are on the phone and you can contact people easiky

She is 17, not 5! I didn’t even live at home at that age. You’re being ridiculous.

'A reputable cab firm ' 🤣 Yeah. We all know there are plenty of those around.

You're being so unbelievably unreasonable

The vast majority of taxis are, 1000s are used daily. Are you suggesting that people never use taxis?

I used to use them all the time too. But I can honestly say that with all the things I've heard in recent years, and observed, I genuinely feel much more wary now..I was standing at a bus stop a few years ago in the sleepy village I used to work in, and a taxi pulled up and the driver rolled down the window and said " Do you want a lift into town love "?. Years ago , I might have said yes because back then taxis seemed ok. But I just remember thinking, why is he offering me a free lift into town. And I just felt that was the tip of the iceberg. He was part of the cab firm that was outside the local train station.

I honestly think some mumsnetters must have such restricted limited lives…never going out especially after dark, never get public transport, never getting taxis…

like what do you do in life? Go to work, come home, go to bed?

And that’s your choice, however it’s still true to say that literally 1000s of taxi journeys are taken every single day without issue.

You can say all I’ve heard in recent years is bad, but how many people tell you, I took taxi ride with no issue.

Id also say that taxis are used much more in recent years, with the rise of uber and other online taxi firms.

And suffer social anxiety as a result!

I don't think it's too late at 17, and with a friend too. Pretty sure I was clubbing before that age.

No I'm working from home tomorrow and I have a late start so it's fine, she really can't stay over at her friend's house unfortunately

Lol I do all of those things, never said I didn't. Just at night time I tend not to do a lot of those things alone. If I'm not taking a taxi alone at 12am, I'd prefer my teenage daughter to not do that as well

A good question actually. But children do have less freedom now and parents are more protective. I guess when I say things were different when MNers were young,that’s not necessarily true as we are all very different ages and I dare say some of the younger mums are the same age as my DC.

Put her on the bus! C'mon. 17!!!

This.

She’s 17 and going to the cinema for goodness sake. The only issue is whether you’re prepared to collect her- it would be a no from me but I’d be happy for my 17 year old to get an uber home.

Pick her up, but definitely no taxi/bus at midnight. Can’t believe people are recommending this for a 17 year old girl.

Do people not read the news? The other day a man was sentenced for raping a 15 year old in Edinburgh city centre in the early hours. She had been at a bus stop.

I often wonder what people like this were doing when they were 17. We were regularly out clubbing until 2am, also went backpacking round Europe with a friend at that age.

My only concern with this would be going to get her!