People asking if I'm pregnant (but it's just my fat tummy)

54 replies

NorthernPaws · 26/07/2026 23:03

I'm 49, and have put on some weight through my 40s and it mainly goes on my belly. Had 2 kids but that was in my early 30s so it's not even post-baby weight. I feel like my arms and legs look slim, but my tummy is big. I'm definitely not pregnant, but I've been asked a few times by aquaintances whether I am. It's happened quite a few times this year. AIBU to think it's a rude question?! I wouldn't dare ask someone unless I was sure!
It has made me feel that I really need to join a gym, but I don't know if exercises can particularly shrink belly fat or whether I just need to eat less. I do eat pretty healthily.
So AIBU to think that you should never ask someone if they're expecting unless you can 100% see that they are actually pregnant. Or should I not take it so personally?

OP posts:

Justlurking8 · 27/07/2026 10:18

Wow, they’re so rude!

I’ve got an apple shape body, only thing that works for me is cutting refined sugar and low carb, or I look pregnant. Sadly I love chocolate too much.

Original poster

NorthernPaws · 27/07/2026 10:21

MyPinkOtter · 27/07/2026 08:45

Just to balance out the scary comments about ovarian cancer and fibroids, I’ve had this body shape my entire life and I’ve had all the scans etc. Nothing wrong with me at all, I just have a round belly and always have.

For me the pregnancy comments actually get worse when I’m on the slimmer side, because when I’m carrying extra weight elsewhere it kind of balances out the tummy. But when I’m slim the belly becomes more pronounced and noticeable.

I do have quite pronounced lordosis of my lower spine (again, always have) which makes my tummy stick out more. I do Pilates and strength training which help a bit but at 42 I’ve just come to terms with the fact that this is my shape!

Thanks for your post. I just looked up Lordosis as I haven’t heard that term and I think I have always had that at least a bit. I remember my mum and her friends commenting on it when I was a kid and saying how it would be seen as attractive when I grew up because of the bum sticking out, which I thought was weird at the time but anyway! So I think my tummy does protrude a bit from that.

OP posts:

OhThePotential · 27/07/2026 20:42

Loulou4022 · 27/07/2026 09:03

It’s very rude to ask! I would just respond no I’m just fat and keep looking them in the eye till they squirm and wither!

I used to think that’s what I would do.

When it actually happened I was mortified and cried once I was on my own.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/07/2026 21:05

I had it from somebody at work recently. Coeliac disease, a previous botched section and endo/adenomyosis meant I was repeatedly miscarrying and then went on to be completely infertile from 30.

It really cheered me up to have somebody working at the same place look at my front and comment about it. She was very, very slim and petite, so perhaps she's never seen somebody with an inflamed and swollen abdomen out in public8, but seriously? Never say a word unless a woman either tells you there is a child going to emerge from her body or you see a child emerging from her body.

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