People asking if I'm pregnant (but it's just my fat tummy)

[NorthernPaws]

I'm 49, and have put on some weight through my 40s and it mainly goes on my belly. Had 2 kids but that was in my early 30s so it's not even post-baby weight. I feel like my arms and legs look slim, but my tummy is big. I'm definitely not pregnant, but I've been asked a few times by aquaintances whether I am. It's happened quite a few times this year. AIBU to think it's a rude question?! I wouldn't dare ask someone unless I was sure!
It has made me feel that I really need to join a gym, but I don't know if exercises can particularly shrink belly fat or whether I just need to eat less. I do eat pretty healthily.
So AIBU to think that you should never ask someone if they're expecting unless you can 100% see that they are actually pregnant. Or should I not take it so personally?

I have a badge (which I am now too old to need) which says ‘Not pregnant, just fat’, for the avoidance of doubt.

The chances are low. I have always been slim, my arms and legs too, I am in peri menopause for the first time in my life I have a round pudge belly.
I have been very lazy the last few years so I have joined a strength training class. It’s made a bit of a difference.

Please go to your GP ASAP. There was a poster on here a few years back whose only symptom was bloating that made her look pregnant. Various people urged her to get checked out. It turned out to be ovarian cancer.

Train yourself to think of it as the day you were mistaken for someone ten years younger? A massive American carb lunch could make a supermodel look pregnant, so focus on the compliment.

This has happened to me a few times just in the past few weeks & has made me feel so down about myself. I have gained a bit of weight & do just tend to gain it around my middle first. I don’t have advice really as I tend to take it quite badly & dwell on it for a long time but… my sympathies. On the flip side whenever I lose any weight people like to comment on that too. Women’s bodies just seem to invite a lot of unsolicited comments from insensitive weirdos & I try to remind myself to be more thoughtful in my words whenever it happens. I had issues with food & body image when I was younger though so probably a bit more sensitive to this sort of thing than the people who make the comments. Sorry OP it just sucks.

I have a totally retroverted uterus which makes my lower stomach stick out, therefore I look a little pregnant even at a size 6-8. Yeah it sucks, I have been asked whether I am pregnant about 8 times when I wasn't. It's actually really upsetting.

Since i had kids - and they’re in their 20s now - I’ve retained that slight pregnancy shape so have to be careful what I wear! I’m in my 50s so no-one could ask, and I’m slim, but do have the weight on the stomach too (and I eat really healthily).
In the past I’ve thought some women ‘could’ be pregnant but I’ve never asked until it’s so obvious!!

I got asked this once. I had a DD but was struggling to have another, had ovarian cysts (endometriosis) and was a bit overweight. The dress I was wearing wasn’t flattering. This woman at a national trust said when is your baby due. I said I’m not pregnant. She said of course you’re not. It was so awkward and I never wore that dress again. People should never say that.

You cannot win in peri and post meno. I've lost inches doing tai chi but then I've gone slightly flabby on my inner thighs because of weight loss even though I'm working out. I've been drinking green tea for what it's worth. If only you could spot target the belly fat. I do the bird dog exercise as well. My partner jokingly got excited when I told him it requires me being on all fours 😆 🤣

I wouldn’t say anything but I did think my NDN was pregnant a few times because of this. Her tummy was so rounded like a bump but the rest of her pretty slim so it just looked it, more so than when a woman is a bit chubby everywhere. I guess this region is just more pronounced in some women than others, particularly following children. She’s recently lost a lot of weight, I believe she’s going to the gym tbh and the belly has gone.

Eliminating gluten flattens my stomach like nothing else.

Got any examples of which foods you cut out?

I’ve always had something but now in my late 40s I properly look like I’m a few months gone. I’ve seen people glance down a few times, especially when I wear a dress (dresses are so not made for my body type lol!) People should never say anything!!

It’s rude.

By all means start going to the gym - it will improve your overall health. Be aware though to lose weight you need to change your diet. I have lost 6 stone in the last 18ish months and have not exercised at all (disabled). I upped my vegetables, nuts, seeds, olive oil and lean protein, and drastically reduced carbs and red meat. In short a low carb Mediterranean diet.

To add, I have been highly successful at losing belly fat. My waist is now a healthy size even though my BMI is still 26.2. All my excess weight goes to my belly first so this result has greatly surprised me. I’m late 50s.

Just to balance out the scary comments about ovarian cancer and fibroids, I’ve had this body shape my entire life and I’ve had all the scans etc. Nothing wrong with me at all, I just have a round belly and always have.

For me the pregnancy comments actually get worse when I’m on the slimmer side, because when I’m carrying extra weight elsewhere it kind of balances out the tummy. But when I’m slim the belly becomes more pronounced and noticeable.

I do have quite pronounced lordosis of my lower spine (again, always have) which makes my tummy stick out more. I do Pilates and strength training which help a bit but at 42 I’ve just come to terms with the fact that this is my shape!

I had this, it was due to high cortisol following peri. Mounjaro knocked it on the head and my stomach started shrinking back v quickly.

I would take the positive, which is you’re knocking on 50 and folks think you look young enough to be pregnant, there is a compliment in there if you dig.

Bread, cake, pasta, biscuits.
I never said it was fun..

I posted a similar thread a few years back and got the comments about Ovarian cancer. Took myself off to the GP in a panic and was told I was just fat.
I lost two stone to get to a healthy BMI and my stomach actually looks worse now!

It’s very rude to ask! I would just respond no I’m just fat and keep looking them in the eye till they squirm and wither!

Bloody hell. A woman in the gym asked me that once, my baby was 8 months old and I was trying to get back into shape. It was really hurtful and embarrassing.
At the time I just laughed it off. Now I’m old and grumpy and wish I had said no, why do you ask? <hard stare>. Make them actually verbalise it - oh you have a fat tummy. Yeah that’s not as easy to say out loud is it. Grr.

On the bright side it’s nice that you apparently look young enough for it to be an option!

I got this twice at work by colleagues, in a profession that should know better! Not asked but congratulated on my pregnancy. Which I had to then very awkwardly explain I wasn't. I'm a size 10/12. But I suffer from IBS and bloating. I just don't understand why anyone would assume someone was pregnant without knowing for sure!

Solidarity! Even before I had my son, people asked this question a few times as I am slim otherwise but have a sound round tummy, ever since puberty really. It's incredibly rude and I cannot believe people would ask that. Try not to take it personally but I know this is easier said than done!

😆 🤣

oh that is nice and sensitive of your husband to keep the interaction discreet and not tell you. So maybe every time you look at the new lamp you can just remember what a sweet and kind man you married!