…to think that a childrens members club is a want, not an education need?

[ThisNattyUser]

Name change as outing.

An acquaintance of mine (we’ve never met in person, but we correspond frequently) is a single mum to a school-age child. This child has been diagnosed with Emotional School Based Avoidance (ESBA) since they were in preschool . Child has never attended a formal schooling setting as even the words “school”, “learning” etc. is enough to give them an anxiety attack. AFAIK the child is homeschooled by a childminder.

On to the bit that I wonder if I’m being unreasonable about. There’s a well-known members club for children. An upscale place where the fees run in the thousands (lower 5 figures). AFAIK the members club is not a specialised neurodivergent-led educational environment. More like a luxury soft play where prep school kids are taken to by their nannies while their HNWI parents socialise. Acquaintance is pushing for the Local Authority to fund membership at this club for their child.

I’ve visited this club before as the guest of a nanny whose child is a member. while membership at this club is very desirable among a particular London set, I wouldn’t say it’s a place of education - more like a space for rich kids to play while having their whims and fancies catered to (much like members clubs for adults I suppose!)

while I appreciate that this acquaintance is fighting for their child to receive alternate education provision, AIBU to think that a fancy members club is a want, not a need?

Maybe they want their child to learn how to socialise with other children.
With ESBA that can actually be a priority rather than education.
(is this type of environment considered "normal" where they live?)

We would need to see the curriculum really. My friend dies similar in Weymouth and it's great for her homeschooled daughters to mix with other children. She pays herself tho

Don't have enough information to make a judgement.

The child's needs will be pretty severe for them to be able to get an EOTAS package, there will have to be no school setting within a reasonable travel distance that can meet their needs.
The LA will want to offer only the cheapest, minimum alternative provision.

If there is no other provision that the child is able to access and that is the only setting that can meet the child's needs, then of course it is a need. All children have a right to a suitable education.

Fair point about socialising.

that club is not considered “normal” in that part of London, only the very rich are members, we’re talking about annual fees that run up to 10 - 20k.

there is no teaching or learning curriculum at this club. just play. most of the time it’s screaming children running wild which is why I’m surprised my acquaintance would think its a suitable educational environment given her child’s needs (the child stresses out if they see a school uniform, and on weekday afternoons it’s full of kids in prep school uniforms)

Well she’s not going to get funding for that, as it’s obviously insane. She likely would get funding for other useful things to supplement education other than at school and that could include learning and socialisation sessions that are run specifically for home ed children. Those are often aimed at children with serious anxiety, EBSA and neurodivergence so will be much more suitable.

It may be that this club is the only option she knows of in her area, but if she starts researching local home ed communities she’ll find other cheaper and more tailored options.

this is an area with many outstanding state and prep schools. The former have schools with well-known SEN provisions. I don’t know the extend of the child’s needs beyond what the mum says, that the child is afraid of school but won’t say why.

I wonder if it’s Jaegos House

The acquaintance says it’s this club or nothing. Kind of understand her POV as it’s the most desirable members club in the area.

It’s not, she said it wasn’t good enough. Similar to Jaego’s but more upscale and about 5 x the price

Soho farm isn’t as demanding as a school’s target based setting and is much more child centred. Everyone is different and I suspect this fits some people’s needs even if it seems like a luxury for others.

Don’t these places have to be regulated to get funding?

It’s not Soho Farmhouse. This is in London

Is a childminder an appropriate person to do the homeschooling?

Does the parent pay for this?

Maybe? I’m not sure. I know the club isn’t a regulated childminder/place of childcare or education. It sells itself as a luxury members club

I’m not sure but I don’t think the childminder is doing a very good job as the child is 7 and still can’t read or write. I’m wondering if the mum thinks that the members club will fill that gap

To be honest I would be less concerned about the setting at this point and more concerned about the child’s home life.

To see a reaction to learning, aka being away from mum, dad, is standard at preschool age. Some walk straight in, some don’t.

On what you have said this seems a parent led issue, which is the hardest to fix.

why would the word “school” give a child an anxiety attack at that age with no exposure to school.

it makes a mockery of those poor children who are genuinely terrified after awful experiences.

Do you mean Soho House, which has several branches in London?

The club doesn’t offer academic tuition though, does it?

Although the setting sounds inappropriate for other reasons, a state special school place costs about £23,000 and a private special school place (where there's no state option because a succession of governments of all stripes have, in their wisdom, shut them down) costs on average £57,000 per year https://schoolsweek.co.uk/soaring-cost-of-private-provision-revealed-as-ministers-plan-curbs/

Purple Dragon.

The mum is clearly nuts.

No, no academics at this members club. They do run cooking classes and art classes and I think swimming classes at £120 per hour though. But it’s basically a posh soft play

Yes, this does seem parent led as the child has reportedly never been to school.

I wonder whether the OP is as well informed about the entire situation as she thinks she is...

Ah so if the LA funds this club’s fees they’d really be saving money compared to sending her to a SEN specialist school

You guessed the club right. Are you a member? Have they added academic curriculum recently? I haven’t visited in a while.