Next doors child always in my house

[Kidsalwayshere]

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

Ring doorbell and just say “not today”

job done !

It is neglect. They're not organising for the child to have food and drink and they're leaving her in the care of neighbours without checking with the neighbours. This is how children go missing. "Oh I thought she was with X..." Plus there are known risk factors in the child's background AND she's not even being cared for by a parent but by relatives of a relative, in what sounds like poor health.

So now any parent who lets their child out of their sight needs to be reported 🤔
No calling for friends, going to the shop or the park?

Don’t open the door

The OP has sent her child over to the great grandparents to play too, also neglect?

Mumsnet really knows how to take a turn doesn’t it!
She’s gone, I’ve got my son in, said we’ll be busy for a few days now and next week, dependant on how knackered we all are (busy week) I’ll be saying no then as well.

Being left for hours on end with people who don't care and don't monitor her and don't give her food or drinks...
It's not good is it.
Supposing OP is out. Child might just wander off in search of some other amusement or company.
Or someone who might give her food or drinks...

You have to just say not today when you don’t want her there. We had similar with a neighbours kid. I’d be in the pool with my Dd and she’d just appear in her swimsuit and get in. Wouldn’t actually leave when I told her to. She lived there three years and we only solved it by telling her no, my Dd is not playing today. She’ll come knock for you when she wants you to come over. Thankfully they’ve just moved a few streets away, haven’t seen her since.

I dunno....I think at 7 its a bit young for kids to just wander off on their own without an adult somewhere being broadly responsible for the child....knowing they went to the shop and roughly how long they will be.....going to the park in a gang and not alone....same with calling for friends...maybe not expected but knowing they will be let in.

thank you you have put this more clearly than I did

I know, it's so hard isn't it? When your children are enjoying the company and you'd rather they were in your house than the other house where you don't entirely trust the level of supervision, but even so it's so annoying knowing you are being completely taken advantage of. I've has this situation several times over the years.

When she came over today I was upstairs sorting washing and I heard my son shout, are you coming to my house today… I can hardly say no then. As I said, he likes playing with her, so I’d feel like a mega bitch mother just saying no, for what he would think is no reason.

No, sorry. 7 year olds don’t call the shots. Woman up, will you?

It's a bit of a leap from an almost 9 year old knocking for the child next door (who has also come over to play at theirs) to 7 year olds roaming the streets.
But we do like a dramatic interpretation I suppose.

Just to add, she doesn’t look starved, she looks perfectly healthy. Maybe she’s just like a cat, who goes around others houses to be fed, even though they’re fed plenty at home 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s the expectation that they don’t have to feed or give drinks to their granddaughter /great granddaughter because next door will.

The expectation is there because YOU are providing all of this for her. YOU CAN JUST NOT DO THAT. There is no gun to your head FFS!

I wqas answering your comment which was much broader than this one child. basically you leapt first.

Ok !!!

And in your OP she was being left for an hour by the grandparents. So how is she at your house all day/for dinner and snacks and in and out of your house constantly?!

Her grandmother would walk towards the car, shout back you’ve got an hour, or I’ll be back in an hour. Then she’d be back in 1.5 - 2 hours. Meaning she’d have an hour in her great grandparents I imagine (or an hour in our house!?)
I haven’t said all day have I? I’d say Monday she was here coming up to 5 hours, that was when I fed her dinner. Shortest day was yesterday and that was 1.5 hours maybe because I said she couldn’t stay for tea.
She has not been at great grandparents for just an hour this week. She arrived at 2.30 today, and was in my house by 2.45.

And just left her great grandparents….

Thanks for the responses every one. Have a great weekend, what’s left of it

You need a garden gate with a lock

You need to nip this in the bud now. And you don't do that by telling the child that she can't come 'round. You need to knock on your neighbours' door and actually tell them that they have sent their grandchild over every day for a while without asking you first, and that it's not okay. You don't need to explain why, you just need to tell this neighbour that they can't send their grandchild over anymore and drive off, leaving you with the responsibility of her.

Also, whenever she asks intrusive questions or make intrusive comments, just smile and walk off. You don't need to give her feedback.

Nooo as she's their parent, knows where they are, it's for a short period and she clearly feeds them as she's referred to a cupboard full of snacks, catering ahead for son's friends etc.

Nope. Still makes zero sense.

I can’t help you with that