Next doors child always in my house

[Kidsalwayshere]

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

in that case, she can say "she can come when I invite her"

There have been so many threads like this over the years and I honestly cannot muster up any sympathy for martyrs who just won't say no, and stick to it.

You're a grown woman OP 🤷‍♂️

YANBU OP but god, this poor little girl, how sad that none of her relatives can be arsed with her. I feel really sorry for her.

She's a kid , you don't have to worry about offending her. You can even say stop with the questions . And sorry you have to go now / can't come in now , etc. No need for explanations .

Do they play outside ? Tell them to get out in order to give you space. Have drinks if necessary already made up on fridge .

And that’s why you’ve ended up as unpaid childcare - because ‘No’ is always tomorrow!

“No, Katie, you can’t come and play today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. I don’t mind you coming over occasionally but you are here to see your grandparents. Back next door you go. They can feed and entertain you.”

So do I. That’s another reason I’ve put up with it. Her dad isn’t involved, in and out of jail. Her mother likes to palm her off for a week at a time with her grandmother. It’s shit.
But equally, it’s not my shit!

There’s a doormat machine somewhere churning them out.

I don’t understand why you let her in.

Stop being a wet lettuce and send her back next door.

I’ll be saying no tomorrow. When she came over today I was upstairs sorting washing and I heard my son shout, are you coming to my house today… I can hardly say no then. As I said, he likes playing with her, so I’d feel like a mega bitch mother just saying no, for what he would think is no reason.
Very pissed off with the cheeky family mind.
I did send her home yesterday much earlier than her grandmother said, I said we’re having a quiet evening, no you’ll have to have dinner with your nan, and walked her next door. I’m not a complete door mat!

Tomorrow we’ve got plans. just venting really. And do people honestly do this with their kids/grandkids?!?

I feel for the little girl but it’s you who is letting her in and it’s you who is supplying drinks and snacks.
If you keep allowing it then it will continue. Maybe if you consistently sent her back to her great grandparents each time, they’d be telling the girl’s grandparents that this isn’t on. Worth a try.
You can explain to your son that she’s supposed to be seeing her family. End of.

Fuck me that’d drive me insane.

Yup!
If I realised my son had been somewhere every day for 6 days in a row, I’d be checking if it’s ok every time, and offering money for snacks or taking over snacks

@Kidsalwayshere The grandparents couldn’t give a shit about the kid. What a fucking cheek

I don’t think her parents do either if im honest.
The grandparents I think are mainly bringing her up

To me it's sounding more like you want to punish her guardians for 'offloading' her onto you than her visits are unpleasant.

You've said your son enjoys playing with her and you're obviously in. It doesn't sound like your day would be improved without her visits.

Obviously you can just tell her today is it convenient when she knocks, that's your call. And she'll go back next door but likely not back to her gran who you perceive go be the one using you as childcare.

I'd be letting her play whilst it was convenient and ds happy, sending home when you don't want her and giving her a little instruction on polite conversation.

No one wants the kid. Well that’s not your problem

That poor child.

However, it is absolutely ok to say that you have other plans

That’s fair. Going around to the great grand parents house to say stop using me for childcare is very different than saying that she is welcome when invited.

Think what would work and say that over and over again, just Mondays thanks, see you then or whatever.

On a plus its nice your son enjoys it

You do realise that this could be how it is until September if you don't take action. It looks like this is their arrangement for the school holidays. You need to see the neighbours and say she is allowed to visit Mondays 2-5 (or whatever suits you) but otherwise it is not convenient.

He does enjoy it. Equally I know when his best friends are over next week, he’s not going to want her here then.

She is back with her other grandparents the whole of next week and then on holidays for another week, so that’s 2 weeks, then we are away for a week, so that’s 3 weeks peace I think (I am not 100% where she is next week though).
Lots of you are right though, I’ll be taking her back at 5 when my son has his dinner.

It takes a village. But not this village