Next doors child always in my house

[Kidsalwayshere]

As per my username (name changed for this), the kid is always here!!
Next door have a great granddaughter (a few grandchildren actually) but one has been coming every day since last weekend. She is being bought over by her grandmother who she is with for the week (the actual parents are not very involved).
They’ll pull up in the car, drop her off to her great grandparents, stay a bit, tell her to knock for our son and drive off saying “we’ll be back in an hour”. The purpose of the trip is for her to spend time with her great grandparents but at this point she doesn’t see them 10 mins before she’s with us.
My son likes playing with her, but I’ve had enough! It’s 6 days in a row now. Sometimes we just want to do nothing. She comes in and says “ I want a drink”. She has literally come from next door. She asks “are you going anywhere today and tomorrow.” And if we say yes, we get “why are you always out”. She asks why our car wasn’t there at certain times. I feel spied on 😂
I feel like I’m being used for child care at this point and whilst she is a kid, surely the adults are not that cheeky… are they?! They’re normally ok neighbours (the man can be moody and shouty and I knew their son from back in the day, he’s horrible, been in jail a few times, that’s another story!).

At the start of the week I was giving her dinner as well, I’ve stopped that. She gets squash and whatever snacks my son has out. Foot down last night and said she needed to go home when my son was having his tea as we were having a quiet night. I had “can I stay for tea. Can we play after tea”. I said no and walked her back.
Aaannnnd here she is again.. dropped off, her grandmother has driven off and her great grandparents have no responsibility over her.
Just needed to vent!
AIBU to say tomorrow, nope, she’s not coming in and my son isn’t playing with her, or is that shit? My son does have a busy morning tomorrow, plans with school friends, but I see that car pull up and think ffs, again!
My son did go in next door once but it’s very much an older persons house, no toys, disabled adaptions so it’s not fun for them. I can see why she wants to come here but why don’t the adults responsible organise fun things for her then?!?

To add im happy when my son has friends over, he’s got lovely little pals, and he goes over their houses as well, but 6 days in a row of “I need a drink, where have you been, where will you be tomorrow” is getting to me! Thanks for reading, if you read it all.

At 7, no one else just shows up.. I am expecting that when they’re older and go knocking for each other. I did the same as a child

Tell your son she can only come over at prearranged times. March her back next door and tell the great grandparents you will not having her over outside of prearranged times that work for you. She's not allowed in if she just pops over.

No,she can't have your drinks and snacks. She's not going to be there at those times.

Yes, you're being used like a daycare every damn day and it's time to put your foot down and stop it.

We didn't get juice, we drank from the hose, ate an apple, and weren't allowed in the house.

The good old days, 😄

Did you post a TikTok about this recently? I think I saw you (or a very similar story)

No im not on tik tok. Insta only!

What would happen if you sent the girl and your son back to the neighbours to play there?

Ahh, that’s so odd I saw a very similar story. Must be lots of people with strange grandparents next door

That’s exactly what has just happened, so we’ll see !

@Kidsalwayshere I’m not letting my son ride around on his bike, meeting his friends at 7 years old?Are 7 year olds allowed on roads on bikes at that age?

What are you talking about? It's normal for children to go and spend time outside and ride their bikes around the street.

Do you have a memory? Surely you recall doing the same thing as a 7 year old child in the 80s or 90s.

I would forget about the parents and whether you feel they are cheeky.

My only concern would be whether I want the kid to come and play with mine or not.
If you do, say yes.
If you don't, send her back.

What are you going to tell them? "When next door's 9 year old great granddaughter comes to visit, she often knocks and asks if my 7 year old wants to play".
I'm sure they'll send someone straight round 😂

I do, but I lived in a quiet street then. I don’t now. Plus half his friends can’t ride a bike.

Already known to SS, because of her father 😢

So?

Just saying, I won’t be contacting SS, because I don’t think it warrants it first and foremost, and the family are known to SS anyway.

Glad you find child neglect so funny. Massive safeguard concerns with what is happening with this child.

Threads like this baffle me where fully grown adults are scared of setting boundaries with other people and in this case children.

You are the parent, adult and home owner here.

You are the one who tells your son and this other child there’s no play dates today and that they can’t come in.

You also tell the adults involved that you’re not responsible for looking after this child and to stop sending them round.

yup. Even when I was a kid and had a pet dinosaur, we didn't roam around alone but in groups and the parents knew pretty much where we would be....and we were 9ish, not seven!

Anyway, I’ve digressed. My AIBU was AIBU to say no to any more visits and I now know it’s not unreasonable.
I’ve already said we will see you some time again but we are busy now for a good few days.

Playing with the child next door is nowhere near 'neglect'.

Not sure how that's related to a 9 year old asking the child next door if they want to play. Not quite roaming the streets alone.

I get that it might be annoying for the OP to have an extra child over when she wasn't expecting it, but that's not neglect and it's ridiculous to try to conflate mild irritation with neglect. The OP just has to say no.

No but grandparents who are supposed to be looking after a child just dropping the child off, not checking she's give in to the correct house. The great grandparents sound like they might not be able to look after the child as well. Possibly not feeding the child. Child wandering off to another house.......

Without saying a word to us yes. They walk in next door, see the great grandparents, they’re there for 10 mins then she’s knocking on my door or my son hears her talking and says “xxxx is here”

They're not randomly dumping her in the street, grandparent and child are all going to the great grandparents and then the child is coming to knock for her friend. They know where she is.
Sounds totally normal, most 9 year olds are going to prefer to play with another child rather than sit with great grandparents.

I can't believe you think children of this age knocking for their friends is a safeguarding issue.

Just open the door and say "sorry Anna you can't come in today - I don't feel like having company today". If she started to argue I'd just cut her off and say "sorry, thats my awnser, goodbye" and close the door.

they know where she went. not where she is Big difference.