AIBU to expect someone with a dog to give way?

[Goatscheese21]

Was walking into town with my 4 mo strapped to my chest in the carrier. Handbag on one shoulder and keeping his sunhat on with one hand (irrelevant details but just setting the scene).

The path is extremely narrow so only one person going each direction can walk on it. A woman with a chihuahua was walking down the path as I was walking towards her direction….

i didn’t step into the road with traffic because I have a baby strapped to me and assumed she was going to let me pass as she was in the less vulnerable position. But this was not the case and she keeps walking and says to me ‘You could’ve let me pass’… to which I reply ‘so could you, I’m the one with a tiny baby… I don’t want to step into the road’

she muttered something and that was that but it really irked me. I always give way to people who are more ‘vulnerable’ ie an elderly person, someone with a pram, carrying a baby etc.

Was I wrong? I wasn’t making a point by NOT giving her way, and maybe I should’ve stepped to the road but I thought it was common knowledge / courtesy that people give way to people with babies. She wasn’t old, just had a small dog with her on a lead and the fact she actually said something about it, to a woman with a baby shocked me even more

i’m sure the dog is her world but… really??

Neither of you should need to step in the road. If it's dangerous for you with a baby strapped to you then why wouldn't it be just as dangerous for her and the dog?

I would have just stood to one side and let her pass by.

I’m not sure that you are more vulnerable in that situation. I mean obviously I value your baby over her dog! But the baby is securely strapped to you, you’re an adult, you check for traffic then step into the road briefly. A dog even on a lead can suddenly dart off to the side in a way that a baby in a sling can’t; so it’s harder for her to control her dog than it is for you to control your baby, does that make sense?

Many people are selfish and operate in their own little bubble with very little regard or attention for anyone else outside of it. I find it lowers my blood pressure considerably to just accept this sad fact and lower my expectations.

She was rude to say something but other than that neither of you were really wrong, it’s not that big of a deal and I’m not aware of a particular etiquette here. Maybe she felt that given your baby was attached to you and her small dog was on a lead on the floor maybe she felt the dog was more vulnerable. It’s just a minor difference of opinion

But she could’ve stepped to one side and let me pass by without commenting? I would’ve eventually stopped to one side but she actually said something about it knowing I have a baby? Whereas I would’ve just stepped to one side and wouldn’t have made such a fuss about it

a baby is more important than a dog IMO

Yeah I think the fact she made a big deal about it irked me more than the actual act. Because eventually I would’ve stepped to one side but I wouldn’t say ‘ I thought you were gonna let me pass’

OP you are on Mumsnet where Entitled Pet Owners rule. Congrats on the baby 🍼

You both could have stepped aside. However, you probably need to wise up to the fact that most people will consider their dog/cat/tortoise more important than a random stranger’s baby.

Yes, I guess so!

a baby is more important than a dog IMO

It's not a competition. Neither is more important. You're both entitled to use the path equally. In this situation you were in the position of being able to stop easily without obstructing the path whereas she was more likely to obstruct the path with the dog so I can see why she presumed you might wait and let her pass.

Obviously you are 100% NBU and you probably know that.

SWBVU

But you’re going to get some silly answers as though dogs were as important as babies.

My grandfather who was a very loving dog owner always taught me you put the dog on the road side of you to protect yourself, and you pass others giving them the non-dog side of yourself, so they don’t have to walk right by your dog.

His dog was an amazing mutt and lived to a ripe old age

If It wasn’t wide enough for two then how did you manage to pass each other?

Generally whoever is on the narrow bit first has right of way.

A dog even on a lead can suddenly dart off to the side

Dogs should be trained to walk to heel when on a lead. They used to be, why aren't they any more?

Really annoys me when I meet a dogwalker whose dog on a lead is taking up the whole width of the pavement and I have to wait for them to haul the dog in to make room for me to pass.

a baby is more important than a dog IMO

Absoloutely! But there are many, many precious dog owners who honestly think there dogs are babies, as you can tell by some of the responses on this thread.

YABU

She sounds like a miserable, unpleasant person. Why are you giving her any further head space? I understand it was surprising in the moment, but I wouldn't give it another moment of your time.

But if you're walking around expecting people to size up every situation and decide to kowtow to the importance of your baby, I suspect you're going to end up disappointed. It does sound a wee bit precious.

So did she end up passing you via the road or did you do as your follow up messages said and both passed each other on the path?

So there was room for both of you on the pavement and no-one stepped into the road?

What’s the relevance of your baby? I could see your point if you were pushing a pram or using a mobility aid or had a disability, but otherwise I don’t see what difference your baby makes to this. In terms of your ability to get out the way it’s no different to a backpack. You’re both mobile adult women, either if you could have made space for the other and neither of you seem vulnerable to me. If anything it’s harder to move out the way for her as she has to move the log on a leash too.

Clearly in a situation of actual danger then your baby gets priority over a dog but this doesn’t sound like that.

In this situation you were in the position of being able to stop easily without obstructing the path whereas she was more likely to obstruct the path with the dog so I can see why she presumed you might wait and let her pass.

Or she could not obstruct the path with her dog?

You already had your baby strapped to you. She would've needed to pick up a wriggling dog to step on the road.

Priorities in my head-

Elderly / disabled vulnerable people
Those with children
Other adults walking
Runners
Dogs and their owners
Bicycles or anything with wheels if in a shared space

Obviously if you fall into the same group as another person you just wing it!

I like to give way to anyone I think has less privilege than me for example, and would hope for the same in reverse from eg a man.

who was facing the oncoming traffic?

How, is she meant to pick it up? The point is the dog and its owner are going to create a bigger obstruction than just a single adult with baby carrier.

You sound a bit entitled OP. And quite a lot of time on your hands to make a post about a complete non event