AIBU to expect someone with a dog to give way?

[Goatscheese21]

Was walking into town with my 4 mo strapped to my chest in the carrier. Handbag on one shoulder and keeping his sunhat on with one hand (irrelevant details but just setting the scene).

The path is extremely narrow so only one person going each direction can walk on it. A woman with a chihuahua was walking down the path as I was walking towards her direction….

i didn’t step into the road with traffic because I have a baby strapped to me and assumed she was going to let me pass as she was in the less vulnerable position. But this was not the case and she keeps walking and says to me ‘You could’ve let me pass’… to which I reply ‘so could you, I’m the one with a tiny baby… I don’t want to step into the road’

she muttered something and that was that but it really irked me. I always give way to people who are more ‘vulnerable’ ie an elderly person, someone with a pram, carrying a baby etc.

Was I wrong? I wasn’t making a point by NOT giving her way, and maybe I should’ve stepped to the road but I thought it was common knowledge / courtesy that people give way to people with babies. She wasn’t old, just had a small dog with her on a lead and the fact she actually said something about it, to a woman with a baby shocked me even more

i’m sure the dog is her world but… really??

She could step to the side with the dog if she really didn’t want to step into the road - if the dog can’t stop on command it needs training!

Yes I agree with you that dogs should be at heel, but our dog is extremely well trained, and always walks right beside my heel - unless something sudden happens and startles him.

If a squirrel darts in front of him then he is going to pull to go after it as his instincts will take over for a split second. You can’t totally train/control for that in a normal domestic pet dog. Only some breeds of dogs are capable of totally suppressing those kinds of instincts and they take months of near full time training to get there!

Lots of narrow paths here, it tends to be the person walking towards the traffic who moves into the road if safe/ necessary.

Its not like you had a pram to have to move to the road.

This isn't about respective value, to me this is about manoeuvrability. With a baby strapped to you , you are far more manoeuvrable than a person with a dog on a lead. You both can check the road and see if it's safe, but if something comes whizzing along you would be much more likely to get back on the pavement in time.

That manoeuvrability is the beauty of slings. But no, you don't get treated the same as someone with a chunky huge pram, because you are more manoeuvrable.

I don't see how having a baby strapped to you makes you more vulnerable or gives you more right of way.

She was a misery for bothering to say something to you though.

No, pavement very narrow, you have to either push up against a cobbled wall OR step into the road… in this case she stepped into the road and made the comment (her dog was on the path side)

If I didn’t have a baby strapped to me I would’ve pushed up against the wall or step into the road whether she had a dog or not because she’s older than me and I don’t usually bat an eyelid at stuff like that… it’s the fact she made a comment knowing that it wasn’t just an easy manoeuvre

YABU. Dog on ground more vulnerable. Not sure why a baby literally strapped to you off the ground makes a difference.

dog and I are forever moving aside / stopping and waiting patiently on pavements / squeezing against trees round here for parents with children taking up the whole width of the path when they could move into single file briefly (I don’t mean holding hand age etc) and never get a word of thanks even to model politeness to the children so I guess your sense of entitlement is quite common.

Surely the benefit of having baby in a carrier over a pushchair is that you can just tuck in more easily if the need arises?

There are a lot of dog walkers who expect you to move out of their way and it is starting to piss me off

and the off lead dogs who snarl and bark at you and won’t let you move , or the jumpers just being freindly - one of these days I will end up snapping - I was attacked by a dog as a child so these out of control dogs are very intimidating

normally I would say if you were facing traffic and it was clear you could step out but if they have a dog they should bloody well learn to walk it single file and have it trained to give way to humans

Yes she could but equally so could the OP. Neither is more entitled to use the path and in this situation it makes more sense for the single person more able to manoeuver easily to step to the side.

And a baby is far more valuable to me than a dog

if the pavement won’t be wide enough for you and your dog and anyone else who might want to go there choose another route

What direction was traffic flowing? In the direction you were walking, or the direction she was going? Without that info,I'd initially say the woman and dog are in a more vulnerable position, since your baby is strapped to your person.

I don’t think there’s any rule for this situation. I would often try and move out the way if a parent was with a child but often they’ll move first and I’ll just say thanks and it’s no big deal. I think you both sound a bit entitled as you assumed the other would give way - and you were both clearly annoyed when the other didn’t.

I would expect you to give way as your baby was safely strapped to you whereas the dog was more vulnerable to traffic on the floor.

Agreed. I wouldn’t be stepping into the road for a dog, let alone if I had a baby with me. I’m not putting a person at risk for an animal.

So surely you wouldn't use a path which is so narrow it might require you to do so.

If the expectation from some is the dog walker shouldn't use the path, then the same applies to the OP.

Your baby is more important to you but not to her

If a squirrel darts in front of him then he is going to pull to go after it as his instincts will take over for a split second.

Taking off after a squirrel is a different thing from the dog walking along at the full length of his lead taking up the whole width of the pavement.

How, is she meant to pick it up?

Who said she had to pick it up? Just tuck it in behind for the few seconds it will take for the other person to get by.

Nobody had to step into a road though, just move
to the side of the pavement

The traffic was going in the direction I was walking, and facing the way she was going! So I couldn’t see the ongoing traffic. Anyway, I’m not gonna give it much more thought - I always give way to people and never think twice. I think I just thought twice because she commented which took me by surprise. I appreciate we both had ‘vulnerable’ situations if you can call it that, but the difference being I wouldn’t have commented.

If the road is traffic free then either of you can step out into the road without risk. If there is traffic than neither of you should.

In that situation I would have just moved/stepped aside whether I was you or dog lady. I'm used to people not so always just automatically do it, I'm don't have the patience to play pavement chicken with people and tbf why shouldn't it be me that moves, I'm no better than anyone else.

The pavement can’t really be called a pavement because it’s so small. I would’ve had to go up against the wall which would’ve made less space because my baby strapped to me so would’ve taken more room if that makes sense? So the other option would be stepping into the road

In that case @Goatscheese21 Id expect her to more safely gauge whether she could step onto the road, and move to the side if not.

If you have a dog then the dog might move to the left as you step on the road meaning both owner and dog would be killed! As with others I’d say step aside maybe or worst case you go on the road

I don’t think she “should” have stepped to the side.

But I also think she’s absurd to comment that you should have. In a situation like this (no obvious “right of way”) it takes someone very self centred to say out loud to the other person what boils down to “you should move for me but I won’t move for you”.