AIBU to expect someone with a dog to give way?

[Goatscheese21]

Was walking into town with my 4 mo strapped to my chest in the carrier. Handbag on one shoulder and keeping his sunhat on with one hand (irrelevant details but just setting the scene).

The path is extremely narrow so only one person going each direction can walk on it. A woman with a chihuahua was walking down the path as I was walking towards her direction….

i didn’t step into the road with traffic because I have a baby strapped to me and assumed she was going to let me pass as she was in the less vulnerable position. But this was not the case and she keeps walking and says to me ‘You could’ve let me pass’… to which I reply ‘so could you, I’m the one with a tiny baby… I don’t want to step into the road’

she muttered something and that was that but it really irked me. I always give way to people who are more ‘vulnerable’ ie an elderly person, someone with a pram, carrying a baby etc.

Was I wrong? I wasn’t making a point by NOT giving her way, and maybe I should’ve stepped to the road but I thought it was common knowledge / courtesy that people give way to people with babies. She wasn’t old, just had a small dog with her on a lead and the fact she actually said something about it, to a woman with a baby shocked me even more

i’m sure the dog is her world but… really??

A lot of dogs don't like traffic. And a person plus dog takes up more room than person carrying baby. Can't see why you thought she should move. Still dogs take priority over mere humans. All things being equal.

in this case she stepped into the road

So you made the dog step into the road? How is that safer than you stepping into the road. At least you have road sense and understand moving vehicles.

It's not about the dog or the baby, but congratulations on making it another dog hating post

It's about who was more entitled than who, and it turns out you both win

I wasn’t facing the oncoming traffic

I’m not so sure, her dog was tiny. My baby weighs 16 pounds and obviously as he’s strapped he protrudes out more so it would’ve been harder for me to lean up against a wall or a small crevice than it would be for her, personally. But maybe I misread the situation. I can blame it on baby brain

I don’t know what we’ve come to when we think someone with a dog has equal priority with someone carrying a baby.

If you decide to bring a member of another species into a built up area and walk it, then you out yourself down the pecking order from where you previously were, surely?

If you have a baby or toddler you go up the pecking order.

I have teens so no skin in this game - teens should obviously be amongst the first to stand aside and I have taught them that!

Sounds like you could have leaned against the wall and let her go round you, wether that’s fitting on the path or walking on the road while her dog stays on the path (obviously dog isn’t affected by baby in sling). Still not a big deal either way though

You didn’t want to step into the road because of the baby, totally understandable. She kept walking because she assumed you’d pause, also understandable. It was just an awkward moment and a mismatch of expectations where either of you could have waited.

I'm not sure why you've posted as you seem determined to maintain you were not unreasonable.

I do wonder what happens if you meet another parent on the tiny narrow pathway how do you determine which parent steps into the road.

I’d just move and probably give the parent a friendly smile rather than ‘I thought you were going to move for me’

The baby clearly is existentially more important than the dog in any given situation.

I find it totally pathetic that there are so many people out there who think otherwise.

However in this situation I don’t think it was really a big deal apart from the fact she was rude and normally people with dogs do tend to let you past.

I have neither a dog nor a baby but my first thought was that the woman could have just picked up her dog and stepped aside.

I guess I don't really understand why this has to turn into an existential dogs vs babies thing? For the record, I've had both. Really it's just a 'she's a dick' thing. So why give her more mental space?

I usually try to be aware and polite, regardless of whether I have a dog with me or not, but as a pp pointed out, most people sort of exist in their own bubbles. I have a close friend who recently lost a child and her dog is her world at the moment (although she wouldn't be rude).

Humans are a different issue. I’d move into the road for a person with their children or someone disabled if there was no other option. I just wouldn’t move for a dog.

I wouldn’t use a pavement where there was a long stretch where going into the road was the only option, though.

You’re being precious.

I think the whole thing has been a storm in a tea cup. Nothing really happened, no one was hurt or put in danger from what you've described OP. Don't let it bother you any further, forget about it and and enjoy the rest of your day.

How long is the path?!?

You seem to make it very clear you would normally always move and are happy to move, so idk why you picked today not to move.

Are you maybe embarrassed she called you out?

Not saying you are in the wrong, by the way. But, I mean if you had a pushchair or baby was walking then I'd absolutely expect the dog walker to move, but you was just walking as one and holding his hat. Soo much easier to control than a dog.

Your thread title makes it clear that you approached the encounter with the idea that she should be the one to give way. I think she understood this from your body language and bridled at the expectation.

The more normal way to approach this sort of situation is that both parties make micro-observations and micro-adjustments to arrive at a consensual way past each other. By very small signs you let her know this wasn't what you had in mind: As your thread title said, you 'expected her to give way'.

As a dog walker, I do think that people with small children (or at any rate, people with small children who are walking with their parents rather than being strapped to them) have priority, and I step into the road where appropriate.

But I would be a bit antagonised by body-language announcing hat I should defer to them, especially if they were simply carrying a baby rather than wrangling toddlers who were on foot.

It all smacks a bit of what MN used to call PFB syndrome.

Blows my mind that people actually rank their importance over others 🤦🏻
Yeah she shouldn't have commented. But no, you're not a higher rank than her. Everyone has equal right on a pavement, baby or no baby.

Surely you cross roads fairly frequently whilst baby is in the carrier. This is no different.

I've used baby carriers for many years (including with a child who needed it well into primary school age due to health stuff). I'd have moved out of the way as it's far easier for you to than someone with a dog.

Just be careful on the kerb. That the most dangerous bit really presuming you don't step into traffic.

The person facing the oncoming traffic should always be the one to step into the road. It has nothing to do with rank or risk.

This is what happens in a society where people increasingly put their own needs first.

In an earlier era this would have led to each of you standing aside and saying "After you," "No, after you".

I mean, sure, they can and should be trained. But on mat leave I soon enough learned not to leave it to judgement. Dogs have zero sense when it comes to prams, let alone when it comes to slings. I'd have stopped and let her pass just to avoid a potential lead across my shins.

What do you do? Barrel along barging in to everyone or step aside for every single person?

If not one of those two, you must be applying some sort of criteria, ie ranking your priority! Even if subconsciously.

It's not about importance. The baby is literally strapped to you, it can't go anywhere it is fully under control whereas a dog on a lead is considerably more unpredictable and therefore risky. A dog stepping into a road is hugely risky from a drivers point of view. You were definitely in the wrong.