How to approach neighbour about 6am screaming…

[Larrythecatforpm]

My neighbour opposite has young children, I sympathise and understand kids that age are going to make noise, it’s just what they do.

However every single weekend for the past 6 months since then moved in (and I imagine most of the summer hols) the neighbour has been letting them play out in the front garden from 6am or getting them in the car and they just scream full pelt non stop.
It’s right opposite my bedroom window, they wake me up and I can’t get back to sleep.
I am absolutely sick of it. They are council tenants can I put in a noise complaint? I have mentioned it to the mother before and she didn’t seem to see the issue using the excuse they’re little.

This morning it was from 5.45am.

You can try the council but the response will depend. If she is an otherwise exemplary tenant and there are no other complaints it will probably get ignored. Generally, the council will only act in cases of antisocial behaviour. That generally requires that the police have been called several times, crime incident numbers generated and given to the complainant to pass on to the council. If there have been no threats, if the noise is not malicious, or if the screaming is just children rather than the sound of a domestic assault happening then there is not a lot that will happen. Basically if no crime is being committed, nothing will happen.

I have a similar issue. I have a downstairs neighbour who is a teenager and he insists on playing very bass heavy music every day for many hours of the day. I am beating my head against a brick wall with the council because it is not loud enough to be heard in the street, is not accompanied by verbal abuse or threats, and no crime is being committed. So I have to live with my floor boards and furniture bouncing rhythmically for large chunks of the day. I can't move - I've tried to apply for a new home with the local housing associations but effectively I'm stuck on a wait list for years and years because I'm not a priority case. I have invested in noise cancelling headphones, ear plugs and go out a lot.

I can only recommend you to get noise cancelling headphones and earplugs and combine the two for an effective silence in the mornings.

I feel like if you buy next to a council estate you shouldn't be surprised 🤷‍♀️

There's really no need to be unpleasant about anything. I understand your sleep is being disturbed. Some people have different schedules and there's not a lot that can be done about that except to talk it out. But it you snap? You could end up with some really bad feeling between you and as you're neighbours, that could wind up being extremely unpleasant for you in the long run. Better to first have a talk with her, or if there's another more reasonable adult in the house, them. Then you can escalate if necessary and if nothing happens. When we had an issue with our neighbour, we actually spoke to their estate agent/landlady and it did help. That could be a step, so maybe talking to the council wouldn't hurt. It does seem a bit much for children. Children's noise isn't something that can fully be controlled. I imagine you'd still hear them through the walls of your houses are right next door? (Sorry, I'm so many pages ahead I can't go back and check easily on the phone!) Honestly, diplomacy is the best solution. And I know you shouldn't have to do this, but buttering somebody up never hurts.

Sorry. I just checked. Opposite so you wouldn't hear it through the walls. Still, I still think a little politeness can go a long way. Even a compromise? If you ask her not to bring them out till 7am (not that that is something you can dictate, but you can ask for it as a neighbour), then that could be a halfway point that works for both of you. Of course there are some people who won't listen and in that case, you need to work out what you believe is reasonable and act according to that.

But do remember as parents (if you are one :)) your points of view will likely not match as you've probably had very different life experiences and so the way you raise your children will not be the same. And obviously that's not something anybody has the right to force somebody to change. In that case, you have to be patient and keep trying without being aggressive about it. I know I'm pushing that point a lot, but being the better person is important. And it looks good on you, plus if you have children, it's a good example for them to live up to. I hope this helps.

This. There is no nice, friendly way to deal with people like this. You might as well go fully nuclear on her.

Do try to resolve the problem in a cordial way first. It is probable that your neighbour is immune to the noise and does not realise it wakes you. The idea of going round with some cakes as suggested by another person here is worth trying. Aggression from you could make it worse. If she refuses to take any action then you can try again being friendly but if she wont cooperate and your health is suffering then I recommend a request for help from the Council not making a report. Though it may be hard stay on the friendly reasonable position which is more likely to work in the long run.

Do you think only council tenants are noisy then? 🙄

It's a nuisance but so hard to keep a child who is a screamer quiet. My son used to scream the house down for hours on end anything from 3 to 12 hours solid. Absolutely nothing worked to calm him down. He was 5 before he finally settled down.

Have you possibly tried his way of thinking….. Nerf them hahaha

Something I'm noticing on this thread that I've noticed on a lot of others about neighbour issues. Why is it always women who are being exhorted to 'pop' over the road to straighten things out, 'pop' a note through the door, or even in the case of this thread 'pop' round with homemade cakes? (OK, I know the pp didn't use that word, same sentiment though.)

Are men ever given these exhortations that they should be forever popping here and popping there to resolve situations that weren't of their making in the first place? I strongly doubt it.

Men tend to 'nip round' rather than 'pop over' 🙂

Fair comment. 😄 Bet they'd be let off the homemade cakes part, though...

Speak to the council, they will have a housing officer . It doesn't matter that you're not a council tenant. It's classed as nuisance neighbours.

Was just about to say that there are Loop earbuds designed specifically for sleep - my DD was given some for university/halls because she found the noise nuisance from flatmates and the student dorms above her to be a nightmare late at night and then again early in the morning. They take some getting used to and there are different styles and varieties, but they are from £15-30.

My only other comment is to ask whether anyone else, amongst your neighbours - has indicated that they are bothered. If several of you are and you right as a group, the council may have no choice but to act. It maybe, in fact, that perhaps she needs some family support from social services as the screaming is not really normal and if she has a child who is ND, or has experience trauma (she may have been a DV victim, now living alone with her children, who may also have been adversely affected). In this latter case, the kind thing would be to get her some support.

I have a similar issue . I bought some silicone earplugs ( not the spongey cheap ones ) and I can't hear the noise now . I don't think the council will do anything about children noise . It's something you'll have to find a solution to yourself .

That's not the case. I'm a council tenant and I had an incident with a neighbour last week. Noise but aggressive with it. He's a home owner and the council are taking it up. What makes you think a council can't do anything about people who own or rent privately?

Legally you are not supposed to record anything apart from your own garden. Police told me this last week when I was getting advice about a neighbour who has been harassing me. If you are recording this family you shouldn't be.

My kids are loud as fuck (get it from their dad) so I sympathise with her on that front, but letting them out at 6am isn’t okay. If it was me I would approach her and just mention it’s waking you up and ask her to not let them out so early.

Please speak to her before making a complaint. Different people have different sleep cycles and she may not realise how much this is bothering you.
if you speak to her politely and you don’t get any joy, then make a complaint.
also buy some good earplugs!

Report to your local council, there should be an online option for this. they will post you out a noise diary you must fill in every day for 2 weeks and then return within a month. If whatever you've recorded on your diary exceeds what's acceptable steps will be taken from there. It doesn't matter if anyone is council tenants or not, pre 7am it's not in alliance with the noise act 1996

If they're non contributors/council house beneficiaries, OP is paying for her own house, and theirs. Get rid of these people, DO NOT ignore their awful lack of upbringing as otherwise it continues when these screaming creatures grow up and get their own council house - that your poor kids will be paying for. Stop the rot.

I hope you never fall on hard times and find yourself needing welfare support.
Or maybe a spell of having it tough might teach you something.

the irony

A megaphone at 6am?
Screaming children I could stand, but an adult neighbour using a megaphone would definitely get reported to the police and mental health services too.