...to not let dd (aged 8) go to a sleepover ...

[bluenosesaint]

...because i really can't decide whether i'm being unreasonable or not ...and of course, according to dd i am being totally unreasonable!!

DD is 8 (and yes, she is my PFB - she has two younger sisters) and her friend at school is having a sleepover. Apparantly dd and two other friends are invited (four 8yr old girls in all) and the other children's parents have said yes. I have said no.

My reasons for saying no is that i really don't know the parents well at all. I know mum to say hello and to have a friendly chat to, and dd has been to her house for tea etc. but i don't know her very well and don't know mums boyfriend at all.

DD is very cross and upset with me and part of me wants to let her go, but i'm really torn because i really feel that i don't know the parents well enough.

What do you think? Am i BU? Go on, tell me the truth, I can take it ...

Would you let your dd go?

Oh! I fell for it too! Damn.

Ah well....

I wouldn't. Only at peoples houses that I knew well. Who knows this guys history. You wouldn't accept you DD spending so much time at school with sa stranger who wasn't police checked. Why is is deemed somehow safer out of school and over night when they are so vulnerable?

Because it is utterly stupid to constrain a child's life because of a vanishingly small risk. You might as well say that you won't let your child go in an aeroplane because it might crash.

There is no way for you to assess that risk without knowing this mans background. So to say it is a vanishingly small risk is just as fallatious as saying there is a huge risk.

I would not allow a stranger to babysit my child, and this is exactly what this scenario is.

She's 9 now. Is it still unreasonable?

4 children having a sleepover at the house of one of them with the mother present is NOT the same as letting a stranger babysit your child!

Only read op and I would let her go. You know the mum and there are other friends going. What's the problem

oh hell, this is over a year old. scrub the comment

I see that this thread was revived by a mother of a 5 yr old who has never had a sleepover. It is quite different. I would let an 8 yr old, go when there were 4 of them, if they want to. It is very PFB not to. However if you have a 5 yr old who has never had one I would put it off as long as possible!