Not said ‘step’daughter

[fornobody]

DSD is 17, my dd is 10.

Last weekend dd invited a friend to town for lunch and some shopping. They are a bit young to go alone and so dsd offered to take them. Friend’s mum agreed, they went and seemed to have a great time.

Friend’s mum has now somehow found out that dsd is my step daughter and is annoyed I didn’t tell her, asking why I lied and saying she might have felt differently about agreeing if she’d known. I didn’t intentionally lie, I just didn’t think it was relevant or needed mentioning.

AIBU to have not specified and think it shouldn’t matter?
Would you be more likely to say no in this situation if I’d said she was my stepdaughter?

I refer to my stepsons as my kids’ brothers. I don’t say ‘half brothers’. That’s just weird.

Her daughter - there really doesn't have to be any difference between the treatment of a younger child be they a daughter or stepdaughter!!

There are some insane people out there - your DD’s friend’s mum is one of them.

No answer to this one. Other Mum sounds like a proper cow. Suggest she takes them if there is a next time.

Is it an issue with your husband taking the girls rather than you? Rather than your husband being a step-dad?

I would be a bit uncomfortable if my DD was taking out for the day by a man I didn't know but would be okay if it was a school Mum I had met loads of times at the school gate.

There is nothing at all to suggest her husband took them… the thread is about her DSD taking them

Well if they're half sisters, obviously its been at least 10yrs.

Because OP is stepmother to one and mother to the other.

What utter rubbish

Agreed. She isn't a step sibling. She is the younger child's biological half sister. Step only comes in in relation to the OP being stepmother of the elder.

Totally disagree with the blood is thicker than water bollocks.
Families are great when they work out and get on but reading about some on MN I would want some as my worst enemy.
H is no contact with his siblings because they are arseholes.

Ah okay, my morning brain interpreted DSD as daughters step-dad!

Totally nuts. I have similar aged DDs who are half sisters but would never describe themselves as that and would not want anyone else calling them anything except sisters. My DH would also just call the eldest his daughter not his step-daughter unless for formal official purposes.

It makes absolutely no difference to how well (or badly sometimes!) they get on or how much eldest DD can be trusted to look after younger.

Sounds like this is a case of "Never let a good deed go unpunished".

She is massively overthinking this one.

Your 'friend' is a weirdo.

She sounds nuts.

Some people just disapprove of anything other than the nuclear family, and are too blinkered.

Why would you turn around? 🤔

Dont be a dick

Absolute bollocks.